Silent Pretense
by Faery Goddyss
Summary: Months after Vash returns with Knives, Knives isnt the same. He's unemotional and hasnt spoken a word since his fight with Vash. Maybe a little KMV later on. Chapter 18 COMPLETED. WILL BE NO EPI.
1. A Tear in Personality

Silent Pretense

Disclaimer: Do I own Trigun? What a foolish question, of course I don't.

AN: Hello everyone! I'm back for a second Trigun story, you may have noticed that I haven't finished 'Fate of Awakening Love', but do not fret, I will finish that one, but at the moment it's not on my mind. I'm a little torn about where to go with that one. I have narrowed it down to about 5 different directions.

While we wait for the story update of that one, I present you this new fic, I thought of it while driving home from French class today. I was very hesitant to post this one since I only have an idea for one chapter. This may or may not be removed later on. It's rated PG-13 just to be safe.

-

Meryl mulled over her thoughts as she silently watched, from across the table as Knives ate. 'Knives isn't the same.'

She rested her chin on the palm of her hand, never once breaking her gaze from the silent creature. Her thoughts continued. 'He hasn't spoken a word to Vash, to anyone, he lets humans near him. In fact he doesn't seem to mind them at all. How can this be the same Knives that was once bent on destroying mankind? It isn't plausible.'

Knives drained the bowl of soup and held up the empty bowl to Meryl. A sign, that meant he wanted more. Rising from her chair, where she was sitting, Meryl took the bowl and refilled it, handing it back to the plant, making sure she made contact with his hand. Giving her an unreadable look he began eating.

'He didn't thank me, he didn't even tense at the touch of my hand.' She contemplated. 'He's supposed to loathe humans. I would have expected him to have been stark raving mad, when Vash returned with him. But no, Vash said as soon as he regained consciousness, he allowed him to wrap his wounds, and he followed him, without a verbal or physical fight.' She sat back down and recommenced her stare at Knives.

-

Knives was a slow eater and the fact that Meryl was gazing at him so hard didn't perturb him in the least. Every so often he would lock his eyes with Meryl, but then continue eating as of he hadn't really seen her. At one point when he had left Meryl's eyes to look back at his soup, he noticed something he hadn't noticed before. There was a bit of light green parsley in his soup. It was a very small piece, but it branched out, and it reminded him of trees.

He gently touched the parsley with his spoon and watched as the ripple caused by the utensil, swayed his parley from side to side, like a gust of wind blowing through branches and leaves.

-

When he had stopped eating to look at his soup intently, Meryl knew he was in his state of utter fascination. She imagined there was a scientifically correct name for it, but it wasn't a name she could think of. When Knives was in this state he became completely absorbed in whatever he was looking at. It was as if he had never seen the object before, and more so, to him it became the most incredible thing in the world.

These little fascinations could last hours if someone didn't jolt him out of it, and he only became this way with the simplest and dullest things around him. A certain grain of sand, a rock, the stitch pattern on a piece of fabric, those sorts of things.

"Knives." She said his name quietly but firmly. He lifted his eyes from the parsley to look at the owner of the firm voice, then immediately went back to eating, as if the fascination of something like an herb hadn't attracted his attention just seconds ago.

Meryl heard the door being fumbled with and turned her head to it just as Vash fell through the door. Her brow rose, as she took in the scene. Vash, a huge heap on the floor was on top of a brown bag that was obviously filled with donuts and other food they didn't need, and food had spilled in every which direction all over the floor.

"Vash, what did we agree on about food?" She suddenly asked brusquely.

Vash remained on the floor, but sat up, avoiding Meryl's fierce look. "Um... no unnecessary food?"

"Right and why did we decide that?"

"Because you're not made of money."

"And why aren't I made of money?" She continued.

"Because you spend all your time looking after Knives."

"Why, on Gunsmoke would _I_ do that?" She asked in a slight sarcastic manner.

Vash's voice became smaller. "Because I asked you to."

"Now what's the lesson?"

Vash gave a small smile. "Simple pleasures are necessary to live a happy fulfilled life?"

Meryl shook her head, as she silently stood, and walked over to Vash. She gave him a menacing look.

"Uh, right... don't buy unnecessary food... but Meryl there was sale!" He started to whine in protest.

Meryl sighed and put out a hand to shush him. "I don't want to hear it." She crouched down next to him. "Now go clean yourself up. You're covered in food. I'll clean up this mess you made."

With a nod, Vash stood up and began walking towards the bathroom. He turned. "Where's Knives?"

"What are you talking about, he's at the table." Meryl curved her head around and saw that he was gone. His empty bowl in the sink, and his chair neatly pulled under the table. Meryl stood to look out the window that was next to the door. "He's in the tree."

"Oh." Vash headed into the bathroom and shut the door.

-

Knives' tree. One day it wasn't there, and the next it was. Full grown and lush green, it stood proudly at the side of the small house they all occupied together. Naturally when that tree grew over night there was much commotion in town as people gathered towards it. None of them had ever seen a tree in their lives, and to see one suddenly appear...

While it frightened them, they couldn't help, but be gravitated towards it until they noticed Knives sitting on one of the thicker branches, with an air of laze. He had propped one leg against his body while the other swung freely over the edge of the branch. The townspeople had called out to him, asking where this mysterious tree had come from.

Of course he didn't answer. Knives never spoke, but with a look that appeared nonchalant and unemotional on the outside, told them to stay away from this sacred piece of nature, internally. It wasn't that Knives had told them in their minds, but that everyone _knew _to not go near the tree. So it was avoided like the plague and no spoke of it after.

-

Once Meryl was done cleaning up the foyer area, Vash had fallen on; she walked outside and glanced up to the tree where Knives sat. 'Oh, perfect.' She thought to herself.

Another thing that was completely wrong with Knives were these "episodes", he would have. It was when he would gaze at the air, as if he could see it. He was your average vegetable really. His eyes took on a soulless look and he couldn't be snapped out of it. They had tried everything from silently saying his name to give him a violent shake. He would have to come around on his own, that was usually days later.

Knives was leaning on the tree trunk in such a fashion that if the trunk wasn't there, you knew he'd fall right off, since he wasn't holding himself up.

'This is getting beyond ridiculous.' Meryl thought. Now she would have to climb up the tree during meal hours just so she could feed him. He wouldn't feed himself during the episodes, but he would eat. "In a scary soulless way." Meryl once commented to Millie and Vash.

Meryl thought back to the first time this had happened. It had frightened the hell out of them. They didn't know what to make of it, but by the time a doctor had been ready to see him, three days later, he was out of it and was normal again. 'But what IS normal with him?' She pondered.

This mute Knives was clearly not the real Knives, as Vash had noted, some time ago. All three of them, Vash, Millie, and Meryl herself, were at a loss about what to do with Knives. Vash figured the best thing to do would be to leave him alone. "I'm sure he'll snap out of it eventually." He had said.

'But so far, "eventually" is turning out to be longer than eight months.' She mused to herself. 'If we could only figure out what was wrong with him. It's got to be something to do with the fight he had with Vash, since he was supposedly his real normal insane self beforehand.'

"What's wrong Knives?" She asked, still looking up at the catatonic plant. She heard footsteps behind her and saw from the side as Millie approached her.

"I meant to pick you up from work today Millie. I'm sorry." Meryl said, her eyes still stuck on Knives.

"That's okay Meryl." Millie too, looked up at Knives. "He's having an episode?" She asked.

Meryl simply nodded.

-

The two of them eventually went back into the house, Meryl going back once to feed Knives dinner, and to put a blanket over his body. When he entered an episode in the tree, they concluded just to leave him in it. It wasn't as if anyone would do anything to him.

While the three of them put on a show of pleasantries during dinner, they all had the same thing bothering them. It was hard to act as if everything was okay, when Knives was the way he was.

"You know, it wouldn't bother me so much, if he showed at least a little emotion towards us. Even if it was hatred." Meryl said that night, abruptly breaking the conversation away from their previous talk.

"I agree Meryl. It's been such a long time and Mr. Knives' condition hasn't changed. If anything it's getting worse." Millie added.

"Well what can we do?" Vash asked. "We've tried everything, and decided it was best to leave him alone."

"Right. We decided, we left him alone, and nothing. I think its time we took a different approach." Meryl said firmly. Vash and Millie nodded in agreement, but none of them made a suggestion about what to do differently.

-

It was two days later, one morning when Meryl walked into the kitchen to find Knives sitting at the table. She jumped at seeing him, but relaxed when he turned to look at her. His episode had passed, for now.

"Good morning Knives, it's good to see you've gotten yourself out of that tree."

He said nothing.

"I suppose you want some breakfast?" She asked, not really to him, as she knew he wouldn't respond anyway. She just enjoyed talking out loud to him if she wasn't staring silently at him, trying to figure out what was going through his mute mind.

"Let's see..." She quickly searched the cupboards. "How about some pancakes? I think Vash finally got the right ingredients for me to make them." Without waiting for the lack of response from Knives, Meryl got to making the pancakes and handed Knives a glass of water for him to sip on, while he waited for them to cook.

When walking past Knives and the chair he sat on, Meryl accidentally spilled a little of the pancake batter on his shoulder with the bowl she was holding.

"Oh, oops, sorry Knives." She said, rushing to the counter to set the bowl down and grabbing a cloth to wipe up the batter. She wetted the cloth with the faucet till it was damp and carefully patted the batter on his shoulder, so as not to spread it. She looked over her handiwork and noticed that she had even gotten a bit on his cheek as well.

While quickly wiping his cheek, she glanced at his blue eyes and stepped back with a jerked motion. She caught herself against one of the other empty chairs before she fell.

'Did I see that right?' She demanded to herself, looking away. 'Did Knives actually give me a look of real, live annoyance?'

When she turned back to look at him, he was already looking away, and his eyes were as they were most of the time. Unreadable and not really looking at anything.

She shook her head. 'I just haven't had my daily dose of fresh morning air.' She thought as she opened the window that was parallel to the kitchen sink.

-

End of chapter 1

AN: You know, it's just occurred to me... did they have eggs on Gunsmoke? Milk? Vegetable oil? Anything like that? I never saw anything that could lay eggs in Trigun (except maybe the Thomas?) And there was nothing you could milk (except maybe Kuroneko-sama which would be slightly cruel and kind of creepy) and yet they had donuts and pudding. Both which require milk and eggs...hmm...

Bah. No point trying to figure this one out. Please read and review!

Yours truly,

Faery Goddyss


	2. Lush Hope

Silent Pretense

Disclaimer: Do I own Trigun? What a foolish question, of course I don't.

AN: Thank you for all the reviews! Some made me really happy and others really helped me with grammar issues I've always had, but have never been able to fix! Hopefully this chapter will be a little better in that aspect. --Wishful thinking.

Days later on the usual sunny day, Meryl and Millie sat in the living room quietly talking about meaningless events while Knives leaned in a dining room table chair casting glances out the window.

Meryl hadn't confided in Mille or Vash about what she thought she saw Knives portray. 'It was probably just a mind trick.' She had thought and let it go. Knives was not any different then he was a few days ago, so she saw no reason to establish alarm.

Unexpectedly, the front door swung open and Vash stood in the entrance beaming with a wide grin at Meryl, Millie and Knives. "I've got some good news!" He began cheerfully.

"Would it have to do with you closing the door? You're letting in a draft." Meryl said dryly while taking a sip of the warm tea that was cradled in both hands.

Vash gave her a slight frown while Mille let a little chuckle escape. "Of course not." He shut the door and approached the girls. "I got a job!"

Mille and Meryl exchanged looks. "That's... great, Mr. Vash." Millie responded hesitantly.

Vash plopped down on a cushiony chair that was opposite of them. "Don't sound or look too thrilled." His earlier excitement quickly deteriorating.

"No offense Vash, but in case you haven't noticed you're not exactly..." Meryl trailed off, trying to find the right word.

"...a working sort of person." Millie finished for her.

"What do you mean by that?" He asked a little hurt.

Meryl sighed. 'How can I tell him that he doesn't exactly have any skills that don't include the use of a gun?' "Forget it, I'm sure you'll do just fine at... what are you doing precisely?"

Vash grinned, his excitement returning. "I'm going to work at the local donut shop! The best part is, I get all the donuts half off!"

"...right" Meryl stood. "I think I'm going to go into town, just to look around. Anyone want to escort me?" She looked at the two of them. Vash had taken it upon himself to inform Millie of every detail about his new job, and she was, surprisingly listening intently and with happiness for Vash.

Meryl shrugged and placed her tea cup in the sink before she walked out of the house. As she turned to face the road she bumped into Knives, who was standing listlessly around.

"Knives!" She proclaimed.

Realization struck her when she recognized that Knives had steadied her. She looked up into his face but it hadn't changed. 'But he is.' She thought silently. "Would you like to go to town with me Knives?" No response. 'As expected.'

When she walked around him to head into town she noticed at once that he was following her. 'I guess he wants to go.' "All right, you can come but no dawdling okay?"

Meryl continued on her way. She actually came into town to look for a specific thing. She needed a new typewriter. Her old one had gotten too much sand in it from the extensive traveling she had done with Millie, when Vash used to constantly be on the go.

When she came to a store that looked like they might sell one she set out to enter the store, when she saw Knives was no longer behind her. 'Honestly!' She thought. Retracing her steps, in order to find the absent plant she saw him looking down at something that was to the side of the road.

Coming up against him she spotted what had caught his interest. It was a leaf. A green leaf that could only have come from his tree, as there were no other trees in this town. "That's strange, there may be a draft but it's not strong enough to take a leaf off a tree." She said aloud. "Come on Knives." She picked the leaf from the ground and put it into his hand, and started to walk off.

"Knives?" She stopped. Knives wasn't following. With an exasperated sigh she took his wrist that had the leaf in his palm and began dragging him off back towards the house, the mission to get the new typewriter forgotten.

When they arrived, Meryl let out a gasp. Knives' tree was completely bare except for one leaf that was at the very top. The rest of them lay at the base of the trunk. Both Millie and Vash were already outside and were murmuring to one another. Vash looked up and saw Meryl and Knives first.

He walked towards them. "We don't know what happened. One minute we were talking about my awesome new job, and the next Millie noticed a wave of leaves raining down from her view of the window."

They all looked at Knives, he looked back at them, and for a half a second he _really _looked at them. Letting the leaf in his hand drop he silently walked himself back into the house, never once glancing at the tree.

"Did my brother, LOOK at us, or is it just me?" Vash asked in mild amazement.

"No, I think he did Mr. Vash, I think I saw it too." Millie said with a little excitement. They both looked at Meryl.

"I think..." She began slowly. "That Knives is gradually waking up from this stupor he's been in." She then proceeded to tell them about the annoyance look she thought he gave her a few days back. "But it was so slight; part of me thinks it was my own imagination."

Back in the house Knives laid down on his bed, and gazed drowsily at the ceiling. Like it normally did, the ceiling began to form pictures, and at times he would reach out and try to touch the pictures. Today, the tree was what he saw. His beautiful fresh tree, with its green leaves, and healthy trunk, but he watched with blank curiosity as a shadow fell on the tree.

The shadow was moving and it jumped into the dense foliage. The shadow ensued to move about and launched into a series of movements that caused the green leaves to fall from their branches. The shadow persisted in doing this until all the leaves were gone except the one at the very top.

When it jumped from the tree Knives saw what the shadow really was, a black cat with disbelievingly large yellow eyes. Only it was no longer a shadow picture on his ceiling, the cat stood at his windowsill, watching Knives closely.

The cat fascinated Knives. His mute mind was unaware that he had seen this animal before, but it mattered very little to him. He wouldn't become aware of it till later, but his mind was opening, and small thoughts were starting to form. 'Your head is not in proportion with your body.' Was the first thought that emerged from his unconscious, and it was directed at the little animal in front of him.

There came on a knock on his door. "Knives?" Came the sound of Meryl's voice. "I'm going to come in alright?"

She slowly opened the door and saw that Knives was standing and looking out his window, which he often did. She walked over and stood next to him. "Sorry about the tree." She said.

Knives made no reaction, but continued to survey the area he could observe from his window.

"Knives you need to come out of this." Meryl said quietly. 'It's gone on long enough.' She thought to herself. 'This lack of emotion can't be healthy and I won't tolerate it anymore.'

"Couldn't you just tell me, Millie, Vash, anyone, what was wrong? Why have you let your mind withdraw into a place it can't get out?" Her voice was soft, and soothing. She waited patiently for the answer she would not receive.

As Meryl leaned past him in order to open the window a little black cat, which had jumped off the sill when Meryl entered the room, leapt in. Meryl was startled for only a moment when she saw the cat wrap itself through Knives shins. She gave Knives a curious look, his face didn't even show if he was aware of the cat's presence.

Only when he looked down suddenly, did he give Meryl a sign that he had acknowledged its existence. Meryl watched with increasing interest as the cat walked around the room, sniffing a few things, here and there. It jumped lightly onto Knives bed and curled itself into a little ball, falling asleep almost instantly.

With the days passing by slowly, the Trigun crew grew anxious as they observed Knives' behavior where the black cat was concerned. He was still the same, in all honestly, but his movements and mannerisms were more light and airy, as if any day he would suddenly be his true self again.

While they all perceived this, Meryl was the one to notice the significant differences, as she was with him the majority of the day and night. Though the cat, Kuro they had grown to call him, brought out the change in Knives, Knives himself actually paid the little mammal no attention. Nevertheless, Kuro would follow Knives everywhere.

The only place he did not follow him was when he approached his tree. Knives no longer sat in its bare branches, but there was the occasion when he'd reach out a hand and place his palm against the trunk. Meryl found that like in his states of utter fascination, he would stand there and gaze at the trunk of the tree for hours. If it were anything else she would have yanked him out if it, but because it was his tree, the only thing she felt he emitted an ember of emotion for, she let him stare at it for all his hearts content.

There were other moments when Kuro didn't follow Knives, and they believed this was the time when he would go hunt because they had found he wouldn't eat the food given to him.

A rare day in which both Vash and Millie had the day off from their jobs; Millie tricked Vash into playing a game of chess.

"Why? You always win!" He whined to her.

Millie smiled. "Yes, but I can teach you to build better strategies Mr. Vash. It'll be fun!"

As they commenced in a game of concentrated chess, with Millie helping Vash every step of the way, Meryl walked in with a towel draped on her shoulders, her dark hair damp and dripping slightly.

"How was your shower Meryl?" Millie asked, not breaking her eyes from the chessboard.

"It was fine, thanks." She looked around. "Where's Knives?"

"Knives?" Both Millie and Vash looked up and looked around.

Meryl sighed. "Yes, you know, Vash's brother? The inexpressive one?"

"Uhh..." Millie turned her face from Meryl's.

"Umm..." Vash looked down, also avoiding Meryl's gaze.

"You were supposed to watch him." Meryl said stonily.

"He was here watching us a second ago...at least I think." Mille replied, that last part said in a quieter tone.

"You _think_?" Meryl frowned.

"He's probably just in the tree." Vash said, looking up with a slight smile. "You know how my brother loves that tree."

"Vash he doesn't go in the tree anymore." She responded back annoyed. "I'll go check his room. You two check the side yard, alright?"

"Right!" They both responded in unison.

Shaking her head in weariness she walked down the hall, turning the sharp left to Knives' door.

Without moving from his spot Vash strained to get a look of the side yard from the kitchen window.

"I can't see the yard from here. Oh well, I'm sure he isn't out there." Vash turned his head back to the chess board. "Hey... did you move your Knight, Millie?"

"Of course not, Mr. Vash."

"Yes you did! It was to the left before!" Vash waggled a finger at her. "I knew there was more to you than an innocent Insurance Girl!" He stuck his finger out at her. "You're a cheater!"

Meryl heard Vash's accusation towards Millie, but she ignored it as she rapped Knives' door, to let him know she was going to come in, if he was indeed inside. Upon walking in she saw that Knives was sitting upright in a chair looking, always looking, out his window. Taking a brief look around it became apparent that Kuro wasn't in the room. 'It must be hunting.' She thought to herself.

She sat down gently on his bed and stared intently at him. 'Such a mystery, you are Knives.' She thought.

It had been awhile since Meryl had talked with Knives. It was customary for her to talk to him every night before he went to sleep; this was something she never told Vash or Millie about. She believed that the best way to obtain the real Knives was to talk to him every night. 'Maybe one day he'll respond to something I have to say.' She had thought, when she had first decided to start.

"I see you snuck away from Millie and Vash... though you probably didn't have to try hard, as they weren't keeping an eye on you anyway." She started, but then stopped herself with a very drained sighed. "Why do I bother, I wonder? Talking to you is, to talk to a brick wall, only harder."

She walked over to him and stood directly in front of him, wordlessly she knelt down on her knees, so that her face was level with his chest. 'A different approach.' She thought and lifted her hands to his face, resting them on the sides of his head. He made no move, and his eyes stayed glued on the window pane.

With a little force she drew down his head. "Knives look at me. Really look at me."

Even though his head was down his eyes stayed in there place. She drew his face closer, putting herself in his only line of vision, trying to force him to avert his eyes towards her. "Please Knives? All you have to do is look. You mustn't want to be this living shell forever do you?"

Slowly, as if he couldn't avoid them any longer his blue eyes wavered into hers, but they were impassive as ever. "What can I do to wake you up?" She whispered.

'Meryl.'

The voice was in her thoughts; it was distant, and very weak. Most importantly it was a voice she didn't recognize. Because Vash had brought Knives back in the condition that he was in, neither Meryl nor Millie ever had the chance to hear his voice. If she had, she would have instantly realized it was this mute plant.

About to release Knives' face she broke her gaze from him as she tried to figure out if she had really heard the voice in her head. She felt a sudden softness and warmth on her right hand. It took a few moments for her to register that the warmth and softness came from Knives' hand. It was rested against her own that was still on the side of his head.

In alarm, her eyes whipped back to Knives. He was looking at her, truly looking at her. As her breath quickened in disbelief and awe, Knives' hand dropped and he raised his head, letting Meryl's hands fall to her side, and looked back out his window. His withdrawn identity returning as swiftly as it had left.

Still on her knees, she gaped up at him, and her eyes widened as she came to a conclusion. 'That voice, the one that said my name so weakly... that was Knives.'

Being so absorbed in Knives, it was natural that she wouldn't have noticed Vash standing outside the slightly ajar door. While he hadn't been present to witness Knives' abrupt change, it wouldn't have mattered as his faint jealous eyes were focused on Meryl.

End of Chapter 2

AN: Hmm...Well...Let me know. Read and review!

Yours truly,

Faery G.


	3. One Step Closer

Silent Pretense

Disclaimer: Do I own Trigun? What a foolish question, of course I don't.

AN: Aww, you're all such wondferful people! Thank you for all the compliments, and the helpful critique!

-

A sudden creak broke Meryl's gaze of awe from Knives. She turned to face the door where the noise had disrupted her thoughts. Gathering herself from the floor she walked over to the door that was slightly open, looking out she saw no one.

'Hm, strange I could have sworn someone was here.' She thought to herself, but immediately dismissed the thought. She turned back to face the slowly awakening plant and smiled to herself. 'It's just a matter of time...a matter of time.'

-

As Meryl left to tell Millie and Vash what she experienced with Knives, Knives himself looked on out his window.

He faintly noticed Meryl leaving as his withdrawn thoughts were focused on the missing black cat. He wouldn't ever remember acknowledging Meryl that night. He would not remember many things he said to her as his mind slowly fought to regain consciousness.

-

In 10 days time Millie came home from work yawning.

"Hard day at work Millie?" Meryl asked her friend, while she continued to make dinner.

"Not really, but I didn't get a whole lot of sleep last night." Millie's eyes found themselves on Knives who was sitting at the dining table but was staring out the side window. His eyes wavered for no sound.

Meryl caught what, or rather who her eyes were focused on. Millie turned back to face Meryl. "Kuro still hasn't come back?" She asked her petite friend.

Meryl shook her head. "I don't know where he went off to, he always followed Knives around, but at the same time he wasn't exactly a housecat. We could hardly have called him a pet." Meryl said as she thought back to all the times Kuro tried to paw Vash and herself. It seemed he only took to Knives, and Millie never bothered to bond with the animal so she was left alone.

"True, perhaps he has moved on?" Millie asked thoughtfully.

"Perhaps, in which case I feel awful for Knives. As much as he paid Kuro no mind, he sure is aware he's gone." Millie nodded in agreement.

In the time since Kuro had vanished, Knives had begun to show signs of real emotions, there were slight and abrupt looks of agitation and sometimes the smallest hint of frustration, but nothing more. "They're not happy emotions, but at least he's showing some." Meryl had commented one night at dinner.

Even so, Knives still had yet to show emotion towards anyone directly, except for the one time he gave Meryl a look of annoyance, and she still didn't believe she really saw it.

"Mr. Vash has to work late tonight Meryl so he came by my work and asked if I could stop by later to bring him his dinner."

"Work late? He works at a donut shop, what could that man possibly be doing that he has to stay late?" Meryl asked in annoyance. Millie just shrugged. "Well okay." Meryl continued and began packing up the dinner she had made, in order for Millie to take it to Vash. "Here." She said handing it to her.

"Thanks Meryl, don't wait up for me, you and Mr. Knives go ahead and eat dinner." Millie took off into the darkening road waving.

Meryl waved back and turned to Knives who was no longer looking at the window but at her expectantly. "Guess you're hungry...well she did say not to wait up for her."

Preparing a plate for Knives and then herself she sat across from Knives who began eating at once. Meryl poked at her food as she studied Knives, like she always did when they were left alone together at a meal.

"Are you worried about Kuro?" She asked him aloud. "I'm not surprised. You may have been aloof to him when he was around but you never tried to get away from him."

Knives suddenly looked up from his food and gave Meryl a wistful look. It stunned her for a second but she quickly calmed herself. 'You can't get this worked out over every little emotion he shows Meryl.' She chided herself, but she couldn't help but be a little overwhelmed about it, because the emotion Knives had just relayed was to her, _for_ her.

As Knives went back to his food, Meryl started on hers, every so often stopping to study the plant across from her. When Knives finished eating he laid back in his chair with a sigh.

'What could be going on in that lost mind of his? I wish I could figure it out.' Meryl thought as her own subconscious thoughts tried to penetrate Knives'. Just as she was deciding to give up for the night an unexpected rush of pain filled her mind and she dropped the fork that was in her hand.

The pain became great enough that both her hands, on instinct, went up to cradle her sudden throbbing head. With quickening breaths she looked up at Knives who seemed to be experiencing the same thing only worse as he fell from his chair.

When the pain had subsided a few moments later Meryl found herself on the ground. With a groan she sat up shaking her head and trying to make sense of what had happened. "What the hell was that?!" She wondered aloud. She pushed the question aside as she saw Knives' body motionless next to his chair.

"Knives!" She exclaimed in slight panic. Hurrying to his side she bent down beside him and tried her best to awaken him. "Knives!" She called trying to rouse him. Looking into his closed eyes, she let out a startled yelp as his eyes snapped open and as he grabbed her wrist with speed and force.

"Ouch! Knives let go! You're hurting me!" She gasped out as his firm grip on her tiny wrist only got harder. "Knives!" She finally shouted and he released her. Since his grasp was so strong she fell back on the floor beside him as he let her go.

She took deep breaths trying to calm herself and she could she that he was doing the same. They both looked at each with question in their eyes. Meryl heard the heavy steps of two people running when both Vash and Millie came bursting through the front door.

"Meryl are you alright?" Millie asked frantically.

"Yeah... I'm fine... how did you know..."

Vash cut her off. "That pain you felt, that both you and Knives felt, I could sense it in my own mind." He lowered himself down to help her up gently. "Are you sure you're okay?"

"I'm fine. Knives was the one who lost consciousness." When she was righted, Meryl bent back down to help Knives up, who looked to be in a slight daze. When he was standing beside her Meryl turned her head back to Vash. "Do you know what that was?"

"Maybe. Did you try to read Knives' thoughts?" He asked her.

Meryl looked taken back. "Read his thoughts? I don't think so, I mean I may have been trying to but... obviously I didn't think I'd be able to do it."

"Doesn't matter, you confirmed what I thought might have happened. Knives' mind, without his own awareness must have put up a block so no one could read his mind as he continues to be like this."

"Who would try to read his mind?" Millie asked.

Vash shrugged his shoulders. "There probably wasn't anybody in particular but my brother tends to take all things into consideration. He leaves no loose ends in what he does."

"But if what you're saying is true Vash, that he somehow put up some sort of defense mechanism in his own mind, why was he in pain as well?" Meryl asked.

"I don't know, maybe it has something to do with his own mind not recognizing him." Vash looked at his brother thoughtfully.

"His own mind not recognizing him?" Both Millie and Meryl responded in unison.

"Is that even possible?" Meryl asked in plain confusion.

Vash shrugged again. "Well, Knives isn't the same, we already know this mute thing is not my brother, maybe his mind is aware of this as well."

Millie scratched her head. "...Gee Mr. Vash, I had no idea you could think like that."

Vash blushed and let out a laugh. "Yeah well, everyone gets philosophical every once in awhile. Hey Meryl you didn't happen to make any dessert did you?" He asked changing the subject.

-

While Millie got dessert ready with Vash's hungry eye watching her, Meryl turned to look back at Knives. He was at the window again but as if he felt her eyes on him, he turned to look at her. 'Stay out.' His voice rang clear and true in her own mind. The voice was the same, but it was sharper, fiercer. Definitely a different part of Knives.

Meryl nodded slowly.

Knives' head went back to the window, and Meryl joined Millie and Vash in the kitchen for dessert. Something they had learned Knives wasn't at all interested in.

-

Early the following day, Meryl got up for a reason she wasn't entirely sure of and headed outside to the side yard where Knives' bare tree was. Only gazing at it now she saw it was lush once more. The leaves that had surrounded the base of the tree the previous day were gone and Knives was up in his favorite branch.

"How interesting..." She murmured to herself. "Knives why don't you come back inside and eat something?"

Still looking far out into the horizon where the sun was rising, Knives lolled his head to the side to get a good look at Meryl. Once he saw her, he turned his eyes back upward. 'Not hungry.'

At first Meryl thought it was her imagination, but she quickly threw that notion away. "Did you answer me?" She spit out in incredulity. When he didn't say anything or even turn she began to doubt herself.

'I've never doubted myself as much as I have in the time that I have been taking care of Knives.' She thought to herself in irritation. 'Knives doesn't respond. He's said my name, once, and he'll show readable expressions. Good progress, but he doesn't _reply_.'

Walking around to the other side of the tree, Meryl gazed up at him to get a clear look at Knives' face. 'Unreadable and not really here.' She thought to herself. 'Like always.'

Shaking her head, trying to clear her thoughts she walked back into the house to get herself ready for the day.

"Good morning Meryl!" Vash's voice rang cheerful as ever, as she passed him on the way to the bathroom.

Giving him some sort of response he couldn't hear, she continued into the bathroom, still lost in what she was trying understand. Vash gave her a quizzical look but shrugged it off as he walked into the kitchen.

"Maybe she's been around Knives too much." Entering the kitchen he saw his brother at the table. "Morning Knives!"

Giving his brother a look of faint irritation, Knives turned his eyes elsewhere. 'Too cheerful.' His subconscious mind thought and standing up he walked back outside.

-

Fixing himself a donut sandwich Vash stood at the window eating as he watched his brother. Soon enough he felt Millie next to him, gazing at Knives as well.

"It's only normal Mr. Knives would open up to Meryl. She's always with him, and as difficult as she can come off, she has that nurturing instinct in her." Millie said calmly.

Vash eyed her, but not for too long before looking back at his other half.

"I know." He said quietly.

"Meryl's always been a little slow on the up-take Mr. Vash, if you want her to know how you feel about her, you'll just have to come right out and say it." Millie said forcefully.

"...maybe some other time. Right now, she's focused on my brother, as she should, as we all should. When he's back to his old self we'll probably have a whole new set of problems with him."

"Like what?"

"I've told you how my brother feels about humans, his hatred for them burns deep in his heart. Just because he doesn't mind them now, doesn't mean he won't mind them once he's out of this coma he's placed himself in."

"Well, small steps at a time."

-

Emerging from the bathroom and heading into her room, Meryl closed the door and laid back on her bed. Allowing a sudden wave of tiredness to come over herself she fell asleep and woke to the sound of a small crash coming from the kitchen and living room area. Glancing at her clock, 2:00 pm, she saw a note from Vash.

_Millie and I are at work. Knives was last seen in his own room.- Vash_

Rubbing her neck, which had gotten sore from the position she had fallen asleep in, she made her way into the kitchen to see what had caused the noise. Looking around, everything looked normal, but then she saw that the kitchen window had been smashed and that a red ball was in the sink.

A knock came at the door, when she opened it she saw four flushed children, looking very guilty. Without saying a word she got the ball for them and they took off with shy thank you's and apologies.

"Great." She finally said. Still a little groggy from waking up she sat down at the table to read the paper that was resting askew on a chair. Yawning and picking up the paper scanning the contents she heard Knives walk in and sit down opposite of her.

"Don't you tire of caring for me?" He asked randomly and quietly, his voice hoarse from lack of use.

Putting down her paper slightly to give him a look, she picked it back up in a way that covered her face. "All the time." She replied. Knives' face went back to being inscrutable and Meryl continued to reading her paper. Hardly fazed by the new transition Knives had made.

-

End of chapter 3

AN: He speaks! Not my favorite chapter, but it sets some things up. Read and review!

Yours truly,

Faery Goddyss

* * *

**Some responses to reviews:**

Smilesmega: Give Kuroneko powers?! No way! He's a _cat _nothing more, nothing less! Lol, your English is fine. What's your first language?

Neptune Butterfly: Thank you! YAY! People think my story is unique! Isn't a not bitchy Meryl nice? Though there will be a time when she may have some attitude but that's Meryl for you. Don't worry about me abandoning FoAL. I won't, but I'm having some real writers block with that one.

Sephiroth1Ripley8: Oh yeah… he does eat salmon sandwich's doesn't he? Hm, well I'm glad you like my story! Knives and Meryl…ah, where to go with that? I hope you enjoyed this chapter!

Magnet-Rose: You were my first reviewer of this story so many thanks for that alone! FoAL is…coming along very slowly... YAY! Another one thinks my story is unique and is going places! Thanks for pointing out the mistakes in the last chapter. I'll re-edit them…sometime. Lol.

Vashluver1: You know I always thought the Thomas was a type of bird. It was never really verified was it? In this chapter you find out why Vash was jealous. I don't bluntly say it, but you figure it out. I think a sweet Knives is just the thing people need to appreciate him. Of course I doubt I'll have him always be that way. You increase my ego by saying this is one of the best fic you've ever read! Thank you!

GabbyFang: Lol, and now Knives speaks! Aren't you proud of him?

DarkGoddess29: Yes, poor Knives…as to why he's in his little state, _that _will be revealed in due time.

Suicidal-Tendicies: Feel lucky. I'm updating this story fast, for me. I'm glad you liked it!

angelstryke: Wow. Thank you so much for the in depth review. Everything you said was so helpful. Instead of just pointing out my mistakes you actually let me know what I could do differently. It's more appreciated than you probably realize! I'm really glad that you enjoyed my story despite its small flaws. Please continue to read it faithfully!

****


	4. Broken Window

Silent Pretense

Disclaimer: Do I own Trigun? What a foolish question, of course I don't.

AN: I'm so impressed with myself. I'm popping these chapters out quickly! As for FoAL.... Well... enjoy this chapter! And thank you for all the splendid reviews!

-

Still reading her paper intently Meryl jumped at the sound of a knock on the front door. Leaving the paper on the table and casting a glance at Knives, who was looking around, she opened the door. The children who had come for the ball earlier were standing outside of it along with, who she could only assume to be, their parents.

"Yes?" Meryl asked curiously looking at the faces. The children's were shying away from her gaze, while the parents returned her gaze with grim faces.

"Our kids told us about the window." One of the parents spoke up.

"Window?" Meryl asked in confusion, she was still a little groggy from her sleep. Then it clicked. "Oh the window they broke." She shrugged with a small smile. "Don't worry about it. Accidents happen."

"That may be, but we feel it's our responsibility to help you pay for a replacement." Another one of parents began to protest.

"It's really not necessary..." Meryl started but was interrupted by yet, another one of the children's parents.

"Really, we insist."

Meryl shifted her weight and was about to reply when one of the kids spoke up. "But look mom, she already fixed it."

"What?!" All the parents including Meryl glanced at the kitchen window and sure enough it was fixed. The glass that once covered the sink had been cleaned up.

"That's strange... I don't...remember fixing it." Meryl wondered out loud. Meryl looked down at the children who were looking up at her with wonder in their eyes. It couldn't have been more than twenty minutes since they had smashed that window with their ball. It wasn't possible for it to be replaced so quickly. Not with the repairman five towns away.

The adults took their eyes to Knives who had stood. They exchanged glances.

"Is this the house where that mysterious tree popped up one day?" One of the adults murmured to another, trying to be quiet so Meryl would not hear.

"I think it is. Unexplainable things happen when it concerns that man in there. Let's just go." They nodded. "Come along children." They stated in unison, and without another word to Meryl they left.

Closing the door with an annoyed frown, she obviously heard every bit of their conversation; Meryl proceeded to the kitchen to inspect the glass carefully. Putting a hand up to the glass she carefully ran her fingers over it. "Perfect." She murmured to herself. "As if it were never broken."

She jumped with a sharp gasp as Knives appeared at her side, touching the glass the same way Meryl was. She sighed. "You're too quiet Knives." Knives gave her a look and went back to absorbing himself in the window pane.

A thought dawned on Meryl as she watched Knives study the pane. 'Did he...?' "Did you fix the glass?" She asked him.

Knives walked off towards the living room, but stopped suddenly to turn his head. "I was getting cold." He said simply and sat himself down in the living area to fix his eyes out the window and on to his tree.

"You were getting cold?" She repeated what he had said. "You were...you talked?!" Her mind raced back to what he had said, rather asked, earlier... "Don't you tire of caring for me?"

She had responded without even processing that he had spoken! 'Knives, speaking?!' The thought, the idea... 'Why hadn't that registered sooner?' She thought to herself as she calmed down.

-

A few hours later she came to the conclusion for why she hadn't, she was sick. Without noticing, Meryl had gotten used to ignoring headaches and feelings of nausea. Knives was like a child and he always came before herself.

It wasn't until Millie and Vash had returned was she aware of her condition. She had just finished filling in the both of them about the newest development Knives had made, and while both Vash and Millie were bubbling with excitement, she herself remained reserved.

"Aren't you excited Meryl?" Millie asked her friend.

Meryl rubbed her eyes. "Uh- huh, ecstatic really."

Vash eyed Millie before focusing his attention back on Knives. "You okay?"

She nodded slowly. "Yeah everything's fine." Her body teetered slightly.

"Meryl!" Both Millie and Vash rushed to steady her. Feeling her forehead instantly Millie proclaimed that she had a fever.

"That's why this grogginess hasn't worn off. I was wondering why I felt so tired and out of it." Without another word, Meryl fainted, Vash catching a hold of her before she hit the ground.

Picking her up, as if she was the lightest feather, he with Millie worrying at his side, headed into her room to place her down on the bed. "She really has been caring for Knives for too long. He's wearing her out."

-

The following day against their better judgment, Vash and Millie went to work due to Meryl's instance. "I'll be fine. Knives isn't any trouble." She told them.

And as Meryl got a little sicker, Knives got a little more active. He took to talking more and more in her presence, as if he was testing this "new" voice of his. When he spoke it wasn't to carry on a conversation. They were normally quick little statements or questions, and only occasionally when Meryl answered or commented on one of his inquiries did he respond again.

One particular afternoon, in which Meryl was feeling better, but still in bed, Knives walked into her room carrying a tray of, what appeared to be, a bowl of soup. He placed it down on the bed to the side of her. She sat up carefully and looked at first the soup then at Knives. She shivered suddenly as a chill crept into the room. Reaching down to pick up her blanket she was shocked when Knives took it from her and placed in on her shoulders gently.

Giving him a strange look, she tightened the comforting cloth around her. Clutching the blanket to herself, with her hair cascading down on the side of her face, she studied Knives for the longest time, boring her eyes into his. He looked back at her calmly and after awhile had past of this staring contest he broke her gaze and pointed at the soup. "It's getting cold."

Knives' voice was always very soft and quiet when he spoke. Nothing the way she had ever imagined it to be, and when she tried to explain to Vash he shook his head. "He's voice is calm yes, but not quiet and warm the way you're describing it. He may be waking, but it's not his true self." He had said.

There were always particular moments in Knives' behavior when Meryl felt she could probably pry into the real him if she tried hard enough, and now was one of those times. As she opened her mouth to speak, Knives cut her off. "Eat."

With a slow nod, she quickly ate the soup that was now lukewarm, boarding cold, ignoring the taste that she would later remember as being one of the best things she had ever eaten. Wiping her mouth on a cloth he had provided for her, Knives stood taking the empty bowl and tray and started to walk out the door.

"Knives?" She quickly asked.

She knew if she let him get away she might not be able to pry into his true self. He turned slightly. She could see in his eyes that the "talkative" part in him was fading fast, and was shortly going to be replaced by his still frequent emotionless self if she didn't ask him something quick.

But her mind became a blank as she tried to think of what she wanted to ask him. There was so much she wanted to know about this strange and aloof plant that to pick one issue was difficult. She was losing him, she could see, so she quickly asked the first thing that came to her mind just then.

"Why is it that you only talk to me?"

Which was true, even as Meryl told Vash and Millie over and over again of how he talked, he never once said a word to the two of them, this puzzled Millie, but both the girls could see that it hurt Vash. To have his brother shut him out, and reveal nothing to him caused him pain he wouldn't admit or show.

Knives looked over her carefully. Meryl thought of rephrasing her question because it didn't seem like he understood, but he finally spoke after a short moment.

"Because I only want _you _to listen." Before she could question him further he left the room.

'He only wants _me _to listen?' She thought to herself. 'What the hell does that mean?' As she pondered a little while on it, a headache returned as if in protest of having to think so hard. She succumbed to the pain and let it pull her into a disoriented sleep.

-

When she awoke, she felt much better and knew she was well. Getting out of bed to shower and change she walked around the house. It was dark outside, so she figured Millie and Vash would be out of work by now but after inspecting the entire place inside and out, she didn't find them. Upon looking into Knives' room she found him asleep so she left him there, being quiet so as not to disturb his slumber.

Presuming that Vash and Millie could take care of themselves wherever they were she fixed herself a cup of tea, and was just about to sit down and enjoy it when she heard some loud but distant voices. Glancing at the time, too late at night to be loud, she walked outside to see two distance figures walking down the street.

She noticed a few other homeowners were doing the same, all looking at the two figures who were, singing it sounded, in what she knew immediately to be a drunken song. The homeowners began hissing comments about going to bed, and keeping the working citizen up. Meryl was about to join in on this hissing when she noticed something very familiar about the two drunks who were now only feet from the house.

One was a woman and taller than the average female, the other, a man, had long spiked blonde hair. Slightly embarrassed but more angry she stomped over to the twosome and after knocking the man on the head and smacking the women with less force on the back of the head, she took them by they ears and dragged them into the house.

When she closed the door behind her she dropped the both of them on the floor and glared at them, her anger rising as her fist clenched as she tried to control herself.

"Owie." Millie said, rubbing her ear and then the back of her head.

"Do you have to be so rough Meryl?" Vash asked, his words slurring.

"I can't believe you two!" She nearly screeched, but managed to do it in a hissing noise, as she thought of the sleeping Knives. "Millie you KNOW you can't handle your liquor and Vash, you know she can't either and yet you let her drink! And even worse, you two went off to get drunk while you thought I was sick! How low!"

"Oh yeah..." Vash slurred as he pointed at her. "Are you all better now?"

Hands on her hips Meryl gave Vash the look of a thousand daggers and he shrank away.

"Don't be mad Meryl. Here look, I have a letter for you." Millie pulled out an envelope from her coat.

Meryl snatched it away and tore it open. She read it once, then twice, then two more times just to be sure.

"What's it say?" Both her drunken companions asked.

"I have to head back to the main Bernadelli office as soon as possible. Millie you are to stay here." With a swift turn on her heel Meryl marched off into her bedroom and shut the door.

-

End of chapter 4

AN: Ehh.... Yup, that's what I'm leaving you with. See you in chapter 5! Read and Review!

Yours truly,

F. Goddyss


	5. Eve of Fire

Silent Pretense

Disclaimer: Do I own Trigun? Don't be foolish, of course I don't.

AN: AH! I'm so Knives crazy right now! I even have another story idea that's focused on Knives. But I PROMISE not to start that one until I finish 'Fate of Awakening Love'. Thanks for all the reviews! They're really pumping my creative fuel!

-

With the rise of the double suns at high noon, Meryl stood waiting in line to board the sand steamer that would take her back to the main city where Bernadelli was. As usual she was running a little late. Puffing from running to catch up to the gigantic desert machine, she wiped the perspiration from her forehead.

"Insufferable heat." She murmured to herself.

"What was that Meryl?" Vash asked. He had insisted on coming along to see her off and it seemed Knives insisted on the same thing, but peeking around he was nowhere in sight.

"Nothing." She dismissed the question. She was a little anxious. It had been years since she traveled alone, she always had Millie as her companion and if not Millie then someone else.

"Where's Millie?" Vash asked. "I thought she of all people would want to see you off."

Handing her bag to the waiting arms of one of the board's men of the steamer she turned to look at him. "She couldn't see me off because of work, but we said our goodbyes this morning. Besides, I told her not to worry about it; I'll only be gone for ten days or so."

"Is that all miss? If so, we need to get going, I'm on a schedule." The boarding man asked her politely.

She nodded. "Of course." Turning back to Vash she looked around. "Where's Knives?"

Vash pointed to a bench that was to the side of the road against a building; Meryl aimed her eyes on the quieter of the brothers. Knives was sitting, his light blue eyes fixated on what looked to be a spool of thread from where she was standing.

Meryl sighed and shook her head. "After all that progress you'd think these little fascinations would cease." She shrugged her shoulders. "Oh well."

"Miss?" The boarding man asked her with a more urgent voice.

"Sorry." She swiveled to face Vash one last time. "Alright then. Thanks for seeing me off Vash and helping me carrying the suitcase."

"Think nothing of it Meryl." He responded with a smile.

She nodded and for a few seconds they stood around awkwardly looking at each other.

"Miss!" The man's voice was shrill and commanding now.

"Right!" Meryl quickly gathered her smaller bag and her jacket and started to walk onto the loading dock, but quickly turned and ran back down to give Vash a quick hug and a small kiss on the cheek. "See you Vash." She whispered before running back onto the loading dock and into the steamer.

Vash stood in sudden surprise, his arms still outstretched where Meryl had been for the briefest of seconds. Slowly putting his arms at his side he waited patiently for her to appear on the deck of the sand steamer. He saw her as the giant machine started to slowly move away.

Meryl moved towards the very edge of the deck, leaning against the railing her face broken out in amused alarm. "Vash!" She yelled, trying to make her voice louder than the groan of the steamer and the circling voices near her.

"Yeah Meryl?" He yelled back starting to walk with the steamer in order to keep his voice and hers within yelling distance.

"Knives is walking off!" She yelled back.

"What?!" Vash turned and saw his brother was indeed walking off in a daze. He heard the faint laugh of Meryl in the distance as she was getting further away as he had stopped walking to keep up with it.

"Be good Knives!" Meryl yelled waving, but her voice barely carried.

Looking at his brother who had been walking off, Knives stopped and turned, looking at Meryl fading away into the desert aboard a large craft without him. He offered no sign of recognition until he raised his hand slightly, but turning away slightly as a flicker of light from a passing metal cart caught his attention.

With a reserved sigh and a lopsided smile, Vash twisted his own head slightly to view the now very distance sand steamer that was carrying Meryl away. As he watched it disappear into the far off sand hills, he became aware of his brothers presence beside him. He too was looking off in the same direction.

"She'll be back in ten days." He said quietly to himself and his twin.

Knives gave off a wistful look in the path that Meryl had gone. Vash noticed and let his shoulders slump. "I know, it's going to be a long ten days."

'It's just like when I left her, but I wonder, did she feel this much of a loss when I left?' He thought to himself. Looking at a window of a nearby store Vash examined his solemn face and the identical one that was plastered on Knives' face.

"Come on Knives!" He suddenly cheered. "At least we've still got each other and Millie. It'll give us the chance to bond. I know Meryl has opened you up a lot, and now I can too!"

Knives' mind began repeating Vash's words like a broken record. 'Bond...bond...Meryl opened you up... up...up... now I can too....' He started to feel a little dizzy as the words circled his brain and took over any other thoughts he had been thinking. He felt the words escape from his lips even before he knew he had said them.

"You and I bond?" A smirk played his lips. "You lost that opportunity ages ago."

Vash jerked slightly as he stared at his brother. For Vash it was the first time Knives had spoken directly to him. He stared dumbfounded at him, thinking about what he had said, the way he had said it. It was indistinguishable from how the true Knives always acted. Even that smirk that had played his lips... Knives broke his thoughts.

'Hungry.' He thought. The hatred had left and Knives' eyes were back to what they always were. His thought wasn't even to Vash alone, as it was more of a thought in general that had simply penetrated Vash's mind.

Nodding slowly, Vash spoke. "Let's get something to eat."

-

Sitting on the outside tables of an eatery Vash ate his sandwich silently, thinking long and hard about what Knives had said to him.

'He really is coming back. The plant deep within him is coming back. What will I do if he hasn't changed?'

The question haunted Vash. He hadn't thought about it since the day he shot Knives and won that final battle. He had been hopeful that Knives would just somehow awaken a new plant. One who understood the value of the human life. But reality set in and Vash knew now, that to hope for such an immediate change was inconceivable.

Winning that fight against his brother wouldn't change anything, he knew more than anyone that violence honestly solved nothing. Besides his brother was a murderer. A psychotic plant whose life goal was to wipe this arid planet of it's dominating specie.

Unfortunately, he found it hard to think that now. Looking before him now, he saw a quiet, calm and undisturbed Knives. A Knives who was interesting in all things mundane, a Knives who would lose himself in a tree for days on end. This was the Knives he was getting accustomed to. It wasn't the right one, but at least this form of his brother wasn't a danger to anyone.

For a moment Vash considered of coming up of a way to keep Knives like this but at once trashed the idea.

'What are you thinking Vash?! He's your only brother; you can't just keep him like this! It wouldn't be right!' He scolded himself.

-

With the days passing by slowly as Vash, Millie and Knives, waited for Meryl's return, Vash let the idea of him and his brother bonding slip away. Knives wasn't interested. That was all too obvious and with Meryl gone he never talked and stopped relaying his emotions. It was as if without Meryl he was taking steps backwards, falling back in to episodes and more frequent states of utter fascination.

-

One particular morning Knives walked into the kitchen and stopped abruptly when he saw Millie. She looked up and smiled at him, but it faltered when he didn't move a muscle.

"Meryl is gone Knives, remember? She should be back tomorrow though." She said calmly, but the excitement was present.

Without a response or anything to eat, Knives made his way outside and into his tree, on a different branch than he usually sat. This branch faced the direction that Meryl had gone, and would be the direction that she would return in.

-

Vash walked into the kitchen a few moments later yawning and scratching his head. "Morning Millie."

"It is a good morning Mr. Vash." She replied cheerfully. "We got a letter from Meryl! It must be about what time she's coming in tomorrow."

"Oh yeah!" Vash plopped down on a chair across from Millie. "Read it out loud Mille."

Opening the letter cheerfully, Millie held up the letter and began to read.

_Dear Mille, Vash and Knives-_

_I'm sorry to say that the boss is keeping me here longer than expected. So unfortunately I won't be returning home tomorrow. I'm still needed here and I have no idea for how long. I've barely got any free time but I managed to get enough of it to write this letter and even look around at the stores. I couldn't help but buy you all some small things._

_Millie for you I got this new pudding flavor, it's called Strawberry. Vash, for you I got music from a new group (it was at an antique store) and for Knives I got this little replica of a small black cat. Doesn't it look exactly like Kuro? _

_I'll write back as soon as I have an update on my condition._

_-Meryl_

Despite the gifts Meryl bought them both, Vash and Millie were not happy.

"So she's not coming back tomorrow?" Vash asked miserably.

"It seems that way..." Millie trailed off. "Well, she'll be back soon no matter what! Meryl will be working hard so we should too!" She stood. "I'm heading to work Mr. Vash, I'll be back soon to take my shift looking over Mr. Knives."

-

That night heading back to the house from work, Vash saw that his brother was still in his tree, still on the branch that faced the way Meryl would be coming back. It just occurred to him that no one read Knives the letter. Rushing into the house saying a quick hello to Millie, he grabbed the letter and read it at once to Knives.

"So, she's not coming back tomorrow Knives, but she did buy you something. It's a little replica of Kuro."

Knives made no sound or movement.

"I'll just leave it at the base of the tree trunk for you." He left his brother to go inside.

"Poor Knives." Millie said quietly once Vash had closed the door behind him. "He hasn't left that spot all afternoon."

Vash nodded grimly. "He never left it while you were at work either. He really misses her, doest he?"

Millie nodded.

-

Watching Vash enter the house from his side vision, Knives noted the little plastic thing he left at the base of his tree. Hopping down to inspect it carefully he put it in his pocket before returning to the tree branch, staring impassively in the direction Meryl left.

-

The day Meryl originally would have returned hung on all her friends like a gray cloud, but none of them spoke of Meryl's absence. Instead they let the day go by uneventfully. 11 days passed, then 15, then 20 and still Meryl did not return and they received no new letter for her.

"She's probably too busy to write." Millie said one afternoon.

Vash only nodded in response. The longing he felt to see her was overwhelming him and he knew that in his heart that he had fallen for this Insurance Girl more than he wanted to.

-In Bernadelli-

"Look over these reports, when you get the chance." Meryl's boss said as he walked past her, dropping off the files on her desk.

Taking them without acknowledging them she quickly spoke up to her boss, who was already walking away.

"Right, um Mr. Bernadelli?"

He stopped in his tracks to look at her.

"When do you think I could head back?"

Mr. Bernadelli eyed her carefully and sighed. "Look around you Meryl." Warily she did. "Why did I send back for you?"

"To train and supervise all the new employees."

"Right, besides The Stampede has been quiet. He hasn't stirred up any trouble. Thompson can take watch of him herself. I'll send you back when one of these two things happens: 1. the newbie's get trained to as I see fit or 2. Vash starts getting crazy all over again. Until either of those incidents occurs you get back to work and stop asking me such pesky questions! Ya hear?!"

"Yes sir." Meryl seethed out. Pushing aside the folder he gave her, Meryl set to work on writing a letter to the others with this new information.

-

..._so who knows when I'll be back._

_Meryl_

"Mr. B _would_ do something like this." Millie pouted. "I miss Meryl, Mr. Vash."

"Yeah, this place isn't the same without her. I'll go read the letter to Knives, so you can get going."

"Okay. See you tonight then."

"Bye Millie."

Heading outside, Vash approaches Knives' tree and read the letter to his brother who was still on that specific branch.

-A few days later, back in Bernadelli-

"Letter for you Meryl." Mr. Bernadelli dropped the thin envelope on her desk and proceeded off.

"Thanks." She mumbled and opened the letter tiredly. Reading its contents she stared at it confused. 'What is he talking about?' She thought to herself.

-

That same night back in the town where the others were, it was already well into the evening. Both Vash and Knives had gone to bed while Millie was in the living room yawing over her work. About ready to give up for the night someone started pounding on the front door.

'Who could that be this late at night?' She wondered as she went to open the door. "Hello?"

Upon opening the door, sounds of screaming and shouting could be heard in the distance and she noticed a faint glow of orange and yellow coming from the same direction as a black smoke that was lifting into the air. She tore her eyes and her ears from the sounds and what she saw in the distance, to the man that was saying something to her at her door.

"...of the town is on fire. We need as much volunteer help as possible to help put it out. Could you be of any assistance?" The man asked her franticly.

Millie only caught the last part of what he was saying but the main message registered.

"Of course! I'll be right there!"

Giving her a grateful look the man ran off into the night to the next house.

-

Bursting into Vash's room Millie rushed over to him and started to shake him awake. "Mr. Vash!"

Vash responded in his sleep. "Just one more hour Rem... one more hour."

"Mr. Vash!" She shook him awake this time.

"Millie?" He asked groggily.

"Come on! We have to go!" Dragging him out of bed Vash fell onto the floor.

Standing he rubbed his head as Millie continued to pull on him. "Go? Go where? It's the middle of the night."

"I know but half the town is on fire!"

Vash snapped into full consciousness. "What?!"

-

AN: Hehe, not bad if I do say so myself. The plot thickens! Well as you all ponder on what's to come I'm leaving some review responses! Which means you'd better review as well! :) Please read and review!

(oh, btw- I'm only responding to the reviewers that asked questions, it makes more sense)

Yours truly,

F.G.

* * *

Neptune Butterfly: Yes, I'm afraid Knives' voices really did not recognize him. I PROMISE you that Kuroneko will make another appearance. Don't worry the little kitty is fine. I imagine Knives only wants Meryl to listen because she's always around him. I'm not really going to cover that in the story but I imagine it will be implied. 

GabbyFang: You didn't ask a question but I had to tell you that when you said that chapt. 3 wasn't particularly eventful I laughed really hard! And I don't know why.

Vashluver1: Hehe. I left you at a small cliffy so you'd be craving for the next chapter!

Lunis: Yes, Meryl did take off. You're one of many people who were curious as to how Knives would react. Even I was curious to how he would react, and I'm writing the story!

Tasuki No Miko 4- First off, I like your username! Hehe, second off **Thank You Very Much** for reviewing every chapter! I love when readers do that! I guarantee Meryl will come back, but as you have read Knives will not be talking to Millie or Vash. And yes, Kuroneko is coming back I promise you.

Isishikage: You didn't ask a question either but I had to let you know, I had no idea what you were talking about in your review! Lol.

Sephiroth1Ripley8: Thank you! I was trying not to rush the fiction on purpose. If I did the story would be like 3 chapters long.

Shygurl: Meryl does have to leave, duty calls. Don't worry, I haven't forgotten about Fate. I only have a little more than a paragraph written for chapter 10. Sad really, but keep checking its progress! I don't want to lose any readers on that one!

**Now I want to thank all these people:**

Lilcrazygurl, smilesmega (my only Italian reviewer! Really cool), Didrean Eve, dynast, VanRulesFaneila, mangaqueen13, gothmiko, hope-is-4ever, and DarkGoddess29

Who didn't ask a specific question but liked my story and gave me so much praise that it's going to my head! See everyone in chapter 6!


	6. Indian Jasmine

Silent Pretense

Disclaimer: Do I own Trigun? What a foolish question, of course I don't.

AN: Hi! First I want to thank you kindly for the reviews! Second, I hate to say this but FoAL is slowly getting pushed into the 'I'll get to it someday' category with me. I'm much more focused on this story as well as a bunch of my original fiction that I'm doing for fiction press. I haven't abandoned FoAL, but I've got extensive writers block.

I've nearly finished chapter 7 of this story, it just needs a bit of fine tuning and frankly I really like that one! It dives into a dream Knives has. But, you're not about to read chapter 7. So please enjoy chapter 6- Indian Jasmine, and soak up the length of it, the next one will be somewhat short.

-

By the time the fire had been put out, nothing could be done to salvage the homes and businesses that had been in its path. With the combine effort of nearly anyone who could walk, the townspeople stood together, along with Millie and Vash, in silent shock.

The only fire remaining was the ones on torches people held in order to view the damage. Looking around, one could see families huddled together, whether or nor their house had been burned. The silence was deafening and neither Millie not Vash felt it was their place to speak up, since technically they were outsiders.

Amongst the silence a voice finally spoke up, in quiet wonder. "What happened?" The man's voice asked.

All heads turned to face the man the voice belonged to. Some stared at him, with the same questions burning in their own eyes, while others avoided his gaze, as if they were the culprits.

Another voice broke out to answer, his voice, in accusing hatred. "Not what! Who?! And we all know who did it!"

Eyes penetrated his own. No one replied, so the man went on. "We all know it was the work of Vash the Stampede! He's been living idly in our town, only to gain our trust and now look! Half the place is burnt to the ground!"

A few other voices murmured in agreement, and a buzz went through the people as they speculated the idea of Vash starting the fire.

Vash was used to being blamed when horrible things happened; he was even more used to not defending himself against the verbal attacks. He stood to one side, looking at the crowd, wondering what they would do, but finally Millie spoke up in his defense.

"You can't go around blaming people! Vash couldn't have done it even if he wanted to! He was sleeping up until the time when I woke him up to explain the fire!" She shouted to the townspeople. Another murmur went through the crowd, but the man who had accused Vash in the first place responded, now feeling he had enough support to argue.

"Perhaps you're in on it!" The man accused Millie, and without countering Millie glared at the man, in her rare but effective glare. The man shrank back as did his supporters. "Of course you're not, and if you say The Stampede didn't do it, I believe you." He stuttered out.

Millie gave a firm nod and the town resorted back to its silence.

"It was probably a random act of violence." Someone called out, and nodding went around in agreement, as well as a disheartened sigh.

"Let's just head to our respective homes. There is nothing we can do in the middle of the night. For those of you who lost your homes in the fire, I'm sure any of us would be more than willing to host you and your families for awhile as we sort this whole mess out, and rebuild this part of town.," said the main who had first initiated conversing.

More nodding and responses of consent went through the crowd as people began to situate themselves.

"Thanks Millie." Vash said with a smile, looking down at her.

"Of course Mr. Vash! I mean to outright blame you! That's just rude!" She responded.

Both their ears perked as they heard Vash's name being mentioned somewhere in the crowd.

"Cant we stay with Vash mom?" A small child was seen asking a haggard looking woman. The woman glanced in Vash's and Millie direction before answering her little boy.

"No sweetie, it's better if... it's just better if we don't. Now come along, Mr. Johansson has agreed to let us stay with his family."

"But I hate the Johansson's!" The little boy's voice faded as Millie and Vash watched his mother drag him off in a direction away from them.

In the end no one opted to stay with Millie and Vash.

"It's for the best anyway, what with Mr. Knives being in the condition he's in." Millie said once they reached the house.

Vash let out defeated sigh as he flounced down on the couch. "Yeah, you're probably right. But still! Now all the suspicion about me is back!"

Millie didn't say anything for a moment when she remembered something. "All those disasters that happened in the past, wasn't it always Mr. Knives' doing?"

"Basically." Vash said sitting himself up. "But do you really think it was him? It probably _was_ just a random act of violence. My brother just isn't in his right mind to do something like that now." 'But then again...' Vash thought back to the only thing Knives had ever said to him, the day Meryl left.

"I guess you're right." Millie interrupted his thoughts. "Well, I should go check on him, we were gone for awhile."

"I'll come too." Vash stood and followed Millie to Knives' bedroom, giving a knock just so he'd know they were coming in. As they entered his room Millie let out a slight gasp while Vash let out an exasperated sigh.

Knives was not in his bedroom, but his window, which could only be locked from the inside was locked, and his bed was neatly made.

"Shall I check around back while you check the front?" Vash asked.

Millie nodded. They met awhile later in the kitchen, neither of them had the missing plant.

Together they circled the outside of the house a few more times, making sure to glance at the tree, and triple checked the inside again. Both felt a sudden rise of panic.

"Where could he have gone?" Millie asked.

"I don't know, but he never disappears from the area around the house. He seems to have got that much sense in him not to wander off."

"Should we contact Meryl?" Milled asked, turning to face Vash. In answering her own question she shook her head. "That would be pointless wouldn't it? Meryl is all the way in Bernadelli. There isn't anything she could do."

Vash nodded. "Maybe he's in town?" He wondered out loud after shuddering at the thought.

Knives had never gone into town by himself and the idea of him being out there alone concerned Vash. What would people think of this strange, physically strong looking man walking about in a daze? Especially since he was the same man that had brought the tree no one talked of. It didn't help that it was the middle of the night, and people were still walking around getting settled in homes. Vash could only hope that Knives was indeed in a dazed state of mind. He tried not to think of the possibility that Knives had returned to his true self while they were out, though it would explain the fire that erupted from nowhere.

Searching the small town store to store, top to bottom, they quickly made their way back to the house as they began to get uncomfortable stares from people as everyone was starting to come inside for the night. They were more frantic than ever.

"He's nowhere to be found!" Vash voiced aloud once they were outside the house on the small porch they normally ignored.

"Well we can't look around outside anymore. Did you see people's faces when we turned corners and they bumped into you?" Millie shook her head sadly. "People are frightened of you again Mr. Vash. You of all people shouldn't be walking around outside at night. Let's just go inside."

Opening the door of the house and walking in, they both crumbled on the couch and sighed together.

"If Meryl finds out we lost my brother, she's going to have a fit." Vash suddenly said.

Laughing lightly Millie agreed.

-

The following afternoon, Meryl came bumbling through the door. "I'm back!" She called out.

"Meryl!" Mille exclaimed in happiness, as she launched herself at her friend and enveloped her in a hug.

"Millie!" Meryl responded with just as much happiness, but the thrill of seeing her friend ended when she felt herself gasping for air. "Millie, I can't breathe." She choked out.

"Oh!" Millie released her and smiled sheepishly, but her smile melted quickly. "Meryl have you heard the awful rumors? About _every _town on the _entire_ planet having some portion of it burst into flames?"

Millie herself had just heard about it, when she had gone into town earlier that morning to get fresh bread.

"Is that all they are here? Rumors? Well, unfortunately they're true." Meryl told Millie grimly, while setting her bags down on the ground. "And because of them, the old tales of Vash are popping back up, so the boss sent me back at once. Speaking of which, where is Vash, and Knives for that matter?" Meryl began as she scanned the living area and kitchen.

"Um, Vash is in his room and Knives is... around." 'Which isn't a complete lie.' Millie told herself. 'He has to be somewhere.'

"Oh, well do you want to have a cup of tea while we talk some?" Meryl asked.

"Okay! I'll fix a cup, you just settle down on the dining room table."

After a few moments of necessary talk in regards with the location of tea bags, they both settled down on the table.

"Walking through the town, I could see everyone was on edge." Meryl said with a hint of exhaustion.

"Well no one knows what's going on, and most people kind of believe that Vash had something to do with it... what _is _going on Meryl?"

Meryl shrugged slightly. "All anyone knows is there was a fire in every town on the planet and that they ignited at the precise same time. Except the main city where Bernadelli is. No fire erupted there. Naturally that in itself is causing heads to turn, and everyone's first thought was it did indeed have something to do with Vash. But much uncertainty has risen as most people disbelieve that notion. For one, Vash has been dormant for over a year so why should he start reeking havoc again? And two, how'd he do it? Vash was always known to destroy towns by his own force. Never did he start a fire. It's unlike him. At least those are arguments I've heard."

Watching Millie absorb what she was telling her, Meryl's thoughts wondered back to the note Knives sent her.

FLASHBACK

_Now you can come home.- Knives_

'What is he talking about? Did Knives really write this letter?' Meryl wondered to herself in surprise.

"Meryl!" Mr. Bernadelli suddenly barked at her. She jumped in respond to his voice, shoving the note in her pocket.

"What is it sir?"

He pointed a figure at her. "You're on the next sand steamer back to that last town you've been in, so start packing!"

"What?" She asked confused. "Why so suddenly?"

"So suddenly? So suddenly?! Haven't you heard?! The Humanoid Typhoon is at it again!" Mr. Bernadelli quickly explained the eruption of fires before sprinting off.

Before she knew it, she was on her way back.

END FLASHBACK

'I got Knives' letter the exact day all the fires broke out. Could he have done it?' She thought to herself.

"Meryl? Meryl?" Millie was calling and Meryl snapped her head back up.

"What?"

Millie gave her raven haired friend a strange look. "You wandered off. Something on your mind?"

Before she could respond Vash walked through the front door.

"Meryl! You're back!"

He walked towards her and only hesitated a moment before hugging her tightly, hugging him back, a little awkwardly, Meryl murmured something to him.

"What was that? I didn't hear you." He asked, as he pulled her back.

"I said, I thought you were in your bedroom?"

Meryl watched as Vash exchanged looks with Millie over her shoulder. Separating herself from him, she stood to the side and folded her arms. An annoyed look emerging.

"Okay, what's going on?"

"Nothing." Vash began. "Knives is fine."

"Knives? What's wrong with Knives? We weren't even talking about him."

Meryl looked on as Vash was scolding himself and as Millie lowered her head to avoid her gaze.

"Okay, then. I'll just go check myself." She said and walked off to his room, not getting far as Vash hopped in front of her to block the way.

She spun around to face Millie, resting her hands on her hips. "Seriously, what is going on you two? I want to see Knives, now." She added a bit forcefully.

Neither of them said anything, but suddenly Meryl pointed out the window. "Is that a pudding donut?!"

Both Vash and Millie looked out the window. "Where?!" They asked excitedly. After seeing nothing and releasing what they fell for, they rushed after Meryl who had already opened Knives' door.

Glancing at each other they held their breath for the inevitable lecture they would get.

"...Millie? Vash?" Meryl started.

They both began apologizing profusely, but she quickly held up a hand to hush them. "It's alright."

"It is?" They asked in unison.

"Of course, just make sure you close it next time."

"Close what?" They both asked confused.

She gave them each a queer look. "The window... so Knives doesn't get a cold. The last thing I'd want to deal with is him the way he is, with a cold."

Meryl walked in the room and around the bed, where Knives was sleeping peacefully, to close his bedroom window. Bending over slightly to inspect him, she felt his forehead and adjusted his covers.

"When did he come back?" Vash whispered to Millie, but he didn't whisper soft enough as Meryl whipped around.

"What do you mean, _when_ did he come back? Where did he go exactly?"

"Nowhere." They said together.

Meryl narrowed her eyes at the two.

"Meryl, why don't you... stay here, and catch up with Mr. Knives? Mr. Vash and I will start a 'welcome home' lunch for you! Won't we Mr. Vash?"

"Right you are Millie! Let's go!"

With suspicion all over her eyes, Meryl watched the two of them back out of the room, closing the door behind them.

"That was a close one." Vash said, once they were a safe distance from Knives' door.

"I'll say. He must have come in while you were out and while I was in the bathroom, before Meryl arrived." Millie responded.

"I wonder where he's been?" Vash asked.

Shrugging and giving Vash an at-least-he's-back look, they proceeded into the kitchen.

-

Back in Knives' room Knives' eyes were fluttering open as Meryl stared at him.

"Did I wake you?"

"No."

Meryl knew it the moment he opened his eyes, that he was a little different. Not back to normal different, but there was something about his eyes that suggested the may be ready to talk to her.

He held up the small replica of Kuro she bought him. He had been clutching it underneath his covers.

She couldn't help but smile. "You like it then?"

"Very much."

'This is good.' She thought to herself. 'Maybe if I just ask him question in which he doesn't have to dive into detailed answers we can talk.'

Knives' answers, while clear, harbored no emotion behind them. He answered in a somewhat dull way that seemed he may be uninterested in what he, himself was saying.

Reaching in her pocket, while keeping an eye on Knives, Meryl extracted the note he had sent her. She held it up, closely viewing his reaction.

"Did you start all these fires so I'd come back?" She asked him.

Without responding or relaying any emotion to show he even recognized the note, Knives' head lolled to the side as he started to look out the window.

"I think not!" Meryl made a grab for Knives' face, and gently forced it to look in her direction. "Look at _me _Knives."

He at once locked eyes with her.

Without freeing his face she continued. "Now, did you start those fires so I'd come back?"

Knives didn't respond.

"Did you?!

Continuing to look at her, Meryl took notice that he had ceased to really look at her. Withdrawing her hand with a sigh, she began to massage her temples.

"Don't play these games with me. I know better than anyone at how much you have progressed, so don't act like you cannot talk to me." She told him.

"I wanted you to come back." He finally said quietly.

"But by starting fires, on the entire planet, all at once?! I mean, how did you even do that?"

Knives didn't answer.

'We're all under estimating him. He's more powerful than I think even Vash knows, and he's not even back to normal yet.' She thought to herself.

"I was coming back Knives. Why were you so desperate to have me back?"

Knives picked up his replica of Kuro that was lying on its side up against his pillow. He inspected the figurine closely.

Meryl watched him scrutinize over the gift she had given him. "Just because Kuro never came back, doesn't mean I wouldn't have."

Giving her an impassive look, Knives turned away from Meryl, deciding he'd like to go back to sleep.

Sitting herself down on chair that was facing his window, she turned it so that she was facing Knives.

'You caused all those fires to bring me back? I even imagine you didn't start one in the main city because you don't know the exact location of Bernadelli, and you probably didn't want to risk lighting the building I was in, on fire.' She shook her head.

'You're showing compassion. Just who are you becoming Knives? Definitely not the brother Vash knows, yet all the deaths you probably caused from starting the fires? That _is_ the brother Vash knows. But the reason behind it...I just don't know.'

Sighing to herself, Meryl stood to readjust Knives' covers for the second time that night. Looking over his now, sleeping body, Meryl bent down and gently kissed him on the forehead.

"Wake up soon Knives." She whispered quietly before walking out of the room.

-

Walking back into the living area, Meryl inhaled the smell of lunch cooking, but ignored the scent as she looked at Millie and Vash who were eyeing her back.

"I wonder if I even have to tell you, but Knives stared every single one of those fires." Meryl said.

Vash nodded gravely. "We sort of figured as much."

"But I wonder why? Is it his hatred for humans? Is it all starting to come back?" Millie asked.

"I don't think that's it." Vash responded.

Meryl hesitated to answer. "Knives wrote me a letter, and I received it yesterday."

Both Vash and Millie gave Meryl a look of utter surprise.

"What... did it say?" Vash asked.

"It said: Now you can come home."

-

In Knives' room his eyes were open as he had felt the kiss Meryl placed on his forehead. Not only did the kiss drive him awake, but so did the sudden pounding of his head. When he had opened his eyes in discomfort his senses started to go mad. His breathing increased, his eyes continuously focused and unfocused. He could hear the sound of his heart, beating repetitiously faster like that of a quickening beaten drum. The room began to pulse and just as he thought he could take no more, everything stopped.

Trying to sit up he found that he couldn't. Taking deep breaths he focused on his ceiling and after awhile of calmness, he found his eyelid's getting heavy and he succumbed to the sudden tiredness he felt.

-

When he woke up again he looked around, seeing things for the first time. Shading his eyes from the suns, he tried to grasp the last fragments of the dream from the night before, but it was already, becoming a distant memory, slipping away, the way dreams normally do.

He became aware of a hand resting gently on his cheek. Meryl was leaning over him, and Vash and Millie were to the side.

"Knives are you alright?" He heard her say.

'Where...am I?' He uttered to himself.

-

End of chapter 6

AN: That was about twice as long as I normally have these chapters. I hope no one minded. I know when stories are **too** long for me, I just can't help but groaning inwardly. Hehe. Well! I hope you all liked it! Please read and review!

Yours truly,

Faery Goddyss


	7. Oasis of Relative Calm

Silent Pretense

Disclaimer: Do I own Trigun? What a foolish question, of course I don't.

AN: Thanks for all the reviews! Here's chapter 7, with responses to reviews at the end.

-

As his sudden flared senses dulled and sleep came from its tiredness Knives slowly entered the REM stage while tossing and turning. Old images began to return. Ones he had forgotten on his conscious level.

_Flashes. He's getting old flashes of when Steve used to beat him, flashes of Project SEEDS and of what he did to all its inhabitants in that specific ship. It was what he planned to do to all humans._

_Then he sees flashes of the smiling faces of Rem, of Vash. The three of them together in the recreation room. He sees when he started to change. When he realized what a pesticide the human race was. Killing and destroying everything in their path for their own selfish reasons._

_All the while, he was secretly getting more tainted. Secretly loathing the human species, but he kept up his brotherly kindness façade for Vash's sake, because Vash loved them. The humans, especially Rem. He wouldn't let Vash see his dark side, but it slipped that day when he had smashed the spider, and then he couldn't help but tell Vash of his ideologies on mankind. He had to tell him them, Vash looked so petrified for what he had done. That was when the analogy was created._

Knives tossed and turned some more, his mind pushing to another scene. Rem.

_Amongst the blackness of his mind she was everywhere, but nowhere to be seen. He heard that old familiar song, the one she sang daily, the one Vash loved so much, the one he had always secretly hated._

_Then, there she was, against _his _tree, but they weren't at the house he shared with Meryl and the others, they were on Earth. Looking around, he didn't like what he saw. A wasteland. Earth was hideous. All the plants were dead, as were the animals. He could see all the rubble of fallen buildings and the once blue sky that looked ready to collapse was now gray. The air was heavy and thick and choked his lungs._

_He could hear the gentle cry of the planet as he realized that its beating heart was fading. It was dying and he was sad._

"_Don't look so sad Knives." Rem spoke in her quiet soothing voice._

_Knives refocused on Rem. Besides her, his tree and himself they were the only living, breathing forces on this dying planet._

"_Rem is this Earth?" He asked just to be sure._

_He put a hand to his mouth. It was not the voice he recognized. He looked at his hands, they were small and he then felt his hair was long again. He gave it a tender touch. He was young. The age he had been when he last saw the woman before him. He couldn't cover up how shocked he was._

_Rem laughed softly. "Surprised to be young again Knives?" _

_He nodded._

"_Come sit." She patted the patch of grass beside her. _

_While walking nearer to her, he did not sit. She smiled._

"_To answer your question, yes, this is Earth. This is the way we left it."_

_Knives looked around more. The ocean caught his gaze from one direction. The crystal blue waters he had always been told about were black and littered beyond imagination. He heard Rem sigh and turned to look back at her._

"_It didn't always used to look like this. It used to be beautiful. Our people just made one too many mistakes." She told him._

_Leaving Rem's side, he walked beyond the greened patch of grass and onto to the browned part. It lay ahead as far as he could see, with the exception of places in which there was no grass at all. Sadness. A small tear dropped. When it hit the browned grass the grass instantly greened and a small flower grew. Taken back he bent down and touched the small flower, it wilted and shriveled. He withdrew his hand._

"_She is sad, but she doesn't like to see your sadness. It was her attempt at cheering you up, but the flower cannot take this life, no more than for a brief moment." He heard Rem say._

_He looked back at her. "Who is "she"?" He asked curiously._

"_Earth of course. Mother nature, we sometimes called her." _

_Knives darkened and he is older. His true age._

"_And I will avenge her _Rem._" He put an extra disgusted emphasis on her name before continuing. "I am not a human and I am not Vash, so therefore I cannot be brainwashed by your deceit. Your people are the ones that killed her, so I shall create a world in which you do not exist at all."_

_Rem saddened. "No, you're not like Vash. You never wanted the guidance that he craved. You always made up your own decisions Knives."_

_Smirking, Knives pulls out his black gun, pointing it in her direction. "I did."_

"_But the more you kill, the more she will be unhappy."_

"_The Earth couldn't get unhappier. She will rejoice in your deaths. The seeds and minerals of your dead bodies will only create the nutrients she needs to grow. It's a natural process... death for life."_

"_I do not talk of the Earth. I talk of her." Rem gestured to the side._

_Sleeping on the dead grass is a faint image of Meryl. She is peacefully resting undisturbed by the environment._

_Confused, Knives lowers his gun to gaze at her. Rem softly begins to sing 'Sound Life' as she walks off into the black distance. As her voice fades she disappears. Meryl's image gets clearer and Knives slowly walks up to he, gazing at her curiously and cautiously._

_He gently picks her off the dead lawn and places her down on the soft green grass that is beneath his tree. She never stirs. He sits on a discarded crate and gazes at her as she sleeps. A sudden chilly wind starts to blow._

"_You'll be unhappy?" He said out loud, remembering what Rem had said to him. "But who are you?"_

_The wind around him begins to pick up and dust starts to billow, but neither Knives nor Meryl shifts. He suddenly realizes that as he's been gazing at her, he himself has turned back into his younger self. _

"_Rem?" He stands and looks around for the woman he hadn't known had even left. "Rem where did you go? Who is she?"_

_She doesn't appear but he can hear her soft laugh._

"_Don't you recognize the woman you love Knives?"_

_Knives is, of course, startled and he hears a glass being smashed and a black cat sprints through his legs._

"_There you are Kuro." He mutters in such a quiet manner that he didn't even register what he had said._

_The wind that was already gaining in its force swirled around him, lifting him up and away from Meryl who is still sleeping in peace. His great lush tree, looking after her._

_He clamps his eyes shut as he tries to think of her name, but nothing will come._

'_I love her?' He thinks to himself._

_When he reopens his eyes he's on the Project SEEDS ship. He looks around. Everything seems to be in perfect order. Walking around he comes to the conclusion that it's too quiet._

"_Rem?" He calls out. "Vash?" With no answer from either of them he starts to call out the names of people he's long forgotten about. People he never even cared about. "Joey? Steve? Mary? Rowan?"_

_He walks past a room, and then stops to back track his steps. Inside the room is a man facing a window that's overlooking the gray and black planet of Earth._

"_Excuse me, but who are you?" He asks._

_The man turns and it's his older self. His older self stands and walks over to him, then past him without saying a word. _

_Immediately following him, Knives begins to notice things with his eyes that he could have sworn were not there before. Pools of blood, dead bodies, and the stench of death reigned the walkways. He sees the bodies of the entire Project SEEDS members and hundreds of others he doesn't recognize. _

_A little alarmed at the sight, he makes his way through the bodies that seem to be in every hallway, every room, trying to keep up with his older self who either doesn't seem to mind the bodies or doesn't even notice them. He watches his older self enter a room._

_He goes after him and is inside a dark room, thankfully one that doesn't contain any blood, or bodies. Even though it's dark in the room he can still make out the silhouette of his older self._

"_Where is everyone?" He asks quietly._

_His older self turns and finally looks at him. "Didn't you see them all? They're dead."_

"_But why?"_

"_Because we killed them."_

_The younger Knives accepts this information without further question. He now knows he killed all those people outside the room, even if it was his through his future self and his future self's minions. _

"_There is just one more." His older self interjects his thoughts. Giving him a curious look he watches as Meryl appears. Still sleeping, and on a bed that appears with her._

"_We cannot! Rem said she was the one we loved!" _

_His older half gave a look of surprise. "Is she?"_

_Nodding, the younger one replied. "Yes."_

"_Since when do we care of what Rem has to say?" Asked Knives' older self._

_The smaller of the two thought for a moment. "Its not that I care, but that I think she's right. I think we do love her."_

"_Who is she? You do realize she is human don't you?"_

"_Yes I know, and I don't know who she is. For some reason I can't remember her name."_

"_Then what should we do with her?" His older self asked._

"_I don't know, but I like looking at her. I want to remember every part of her because she is who we love. I never want to forget."_

_The older Knives hesitated for a moment. "Does she love us back?"_

"_I don't know."_

_After a few moments of silence in which both the younger and older Knives proceed to gaze at Meryl, the younger speaks._

"_Where are Vash and Rem?"_

"_That, _I_ don't know. Do you care?"_

"_Not really."_

_Suddenly the older Knives pulls out his black gun. "We may love her, but she is human so she has to die if our kind is to live."_

"_No! I understand of course, but you cannot kill _her._"_

"_I'm not going to. You are."_

"_I won't!" The younger Knives protested._

"_But you have the gun in your hand."_

_Knives looked down and saw that his older half was right. He is the one carrying the gun._

"_I don't want to!"_

"_Why not?" Asks the older Knives. "You killed the others."_

"_Yes, that's true." He raises the gun at Meryl. "Even though we love you, you have to be killed."_

"_Yes, we cannot allow you to continue your specie, despite this very unlikely love for you."_

_The younger Knives glances at his older self but he's disappeared and he realizes he is his older self. It's his younger self that vanished. His younger self was the one that wasn't as dark. It was he that, at one point in time, like Vash believed in a world with humans, but one without war and violence. _

_As he started to pull the trigger at Meryl his head began to pound. The headaches were returning and he pushed his hands to the side of his head to help ease it, but it wasn't working. His gun lay dropped at his side. Once the headache finally passes he crumbles to Meryl's side._

_She stirs and wraps a hand at the side of his face._

"Knives are you alright?" _He heard her ask._

_Meryl starts to fade, as do the rest of his surroundings. They fade into the blackness and he hears Meryl's words repeat. _

-

Knives' eyes flutter open and he sees that Vash and two others, whom he doesn't recognize are at his side, all with looks of concern.

The memory of his dream diminishes, as his mind locks it away from him. He becomes aware of the suns and shades his eyes feeling a hotness and becoming aware of his own deep breathing.

'Where... am I?' He thought to himself.

"Mr. Knives are you okay?" Asked a tall brunette haired woman.

Hearing a voice of a person he doesn't recognize causes him not to answer, but he becomes aware that one of the women who is actually sitting at his side, has placed a hand on his forehead.

"He seems to have a bit of a fever, but nothing major." He listened to her say.

"Will he be okay?" His brother asked.

The one beside him nodded. "He can probably just sleep it off."

Knives watched as his brother yawned. "In that case I'm going back to bed. Feel better Knives."

"Goodnight Mr. Knives, I hope you feel better in the morning too." The taller girl added and then they both left. Leaving him with the one next to him, a shorter woman than the other with raven colored hair and wide gray eyes.

Knives registered their comments but didn't acknowledge them. His eyes lay on the stranger at his side. She was brushing his hair aside with her hands and wiping his forehead with a cool cloth at the same time.

"You must have had quite the dream for it to give you a fever Knives."

Entirely focused on this woman he answered. "I do not remember it."

"Most of us don't remember our dreams." She handed him a glass of water. "Drink half of that, it'll make you feel a little better and it'll bring down the fever some too."

Knives did as she suggested and handed the glass back to her once he finished.

"Now try and get some rest okay?"

Knives gave a short nod and watched as she placed the empty glass on the side table next to his bed. She gave his hand a squeeze to his surprise before walking out and closing the door behind her.

Bewildered at all that happened Knives sat up and looked out his window. Being that it was still dark out he could not see much, but readjusting himself under the covers he pulled them away to inspect himself.

'The last thing I remember is Vash shooting me. Where am I now?' He thought to himself. Not being able to answer that question he continued his puzzled thoughts.

'I'm completely healed physically, which means that fight was ages ago. Where did Vash take me?' Still confused his anger started to rise.

Waiting until he was certain that everyone had fallen back asleep, Knives rose and walked out of the room eyeing his unfamiliar surroundings. Finding himself in a kitchen, the annoyance of not knowing where he was or how long he's been there started to nag him. And because his thoughts were so focused on that he didn't hear the footsteps.

Only when a light flicked on did he snap his brain back into reality.

-

End of chapter 7

AN: The dream, well it's in different tenses and it switches back and forth constantly. I did that on purpose so please no one yell at me. I did that to really set the stage that Knives was in a dream, and since dreams don't always go in a perfect little story-fied-ness (yes I made that word up) I chose that format. As always read and review!

Yours truly,

Faery Goddyss

Gothmiko- Knives isn't a pyro. He just needed something BIG to get Meryl back. Lol

Hope-is-4ever- Knives is unstable, or was I guess I should say, because he wasn't in his right frame. I tried to create the image if him being sort of a helpless little kid. You're so dead on for what you thought was going to happen in this chapter. Good job!

Lunis- I'm sure Mr. Bernadelli didn't intentionally make people sad. He has a business to run after all.

Isishikage- Is Knives going to go all postal again and destroy Gunsmoke? Well I can't answer that. It would ruin the story.

Neverland's Apprentice- You were left in shock when you read MY little story? Thanks so much! I try.

Sephiroth1Ripley8- Ah, my most critical reviewer. Well I do read over the story, and I just cant catch or get all the problems in it. It usually is sentence structure, and I don't know why. But I am glad that you still like the story and continue to read it, despite its flaws.

(someone)- Lol. I'm happy you don't think this story is a stupid cliché! Though, even I have to seriously watch myself with the character personalities. For instance, this chapter has some Knives OOC ness, but it can't always be helped.

Neptune Butterfly- There kinda _was_ two people living inside of Knives. I'll get more into Vash and Meryl later and it will be brief, but, stuff will happen. ;)

DarkGoddess29- YAY! I love questions! Okay, yes, Knives did remember Kuro before the cat replica. Kuro isn't gone for good; he's coming back that's why I'm trying to at least mention him. I didn't want Vash to be the one to bring Meryl back. Knives had to. I needed the relationship devolvement. So did Knives' dream happen the way you thought it would? Let me know!

Huntress Raven- Will I make Knives see the error of his ways? Sorta. You'll see sooner or later, and I like your story because I love Midvalley!

GabbyFang- I'm glad you liked the chapter, but I also update FoAL a little while ago! YAY! Have you read it?

Triste1- Thanks for the critique! I can try harder and hope to fix things, but the fact of the matter is, as much as I try there will always be problems. But thanks for letting me know and I'm glad you like the story!

Mangaqueen13- How sweet! Thanks!

Shygurl- Lol, I'm a fool for a pathetic Knives. Well he IS back to his "normal" self, but to see how he reacts once he gets over his bewilderment, you'll have to read the next chapter!

DeepCrimsonOtaku- I have two possible future paths Knives could take, and one is his super psycho "humanity-obliterating self" as you put it. I'm glad you like my story!

Girl next door- the last chapter was called Indian jasmine because the flowers meaning is affection. I thought it was cute. So technically the name of that chapter is 'Affection'.

Umi Fox- He doesn't remember! So what will happen? You'll see soon! :o)

Shiko- Lol. On your idea of more action, I hadn't even considered it, maybe, possibly, I don't know. But probably not in this story. Something like that would be in my other future story 'Prerogative'.

Also**, thank you** to: Kara Metallium, AKU, vashluver1, nan, Gwargedd-Annwn13, Kitsuni-Demon, PervyElfFancier, and a bunch of anonymous people!


	8. Line of Uncertainty

Silent Pretense

Disclaimer: Do I own Trigun? What a foolish question, of course I don't.

AN: The first official chapter in where you all get to "meet" Knives! Excited? You should be!

-

Knives turned to face his brother. Vash gave him a curious look. "I thought I heard something. You'd better get back in bed or Meryl will give you a thrashing. I'm pretty sure she's coming closer to just beating you back to your normal self." Vash smiled at his brother.

'He must be referring to one of the humans.' Knives thought to himself.

Vash cocked his head. Knives hadn't moved a muscle in neither his body nor his face. Something wasn't quite right. True, his brother hadn't really embraced him the past year, physically or emotionally, but he was at the point where he looked more alive and now he was just staring dumbly at him.

"How about a glass of water?" Vash asked. He walked over to the sink and filled a glass before holding it out to Knives. Knives glanced at it but made no move to take it. He slowly shook his head.

"No? Well..." Vash trailed off and looked around, placing the glass in the sink. "Maybe you want some fresh air or something? It is kind of stuffy in here." Vash walked over to the door and opened it, only to close it immediately when a harsh wind brought in sand.

"Okay, that's not a good idea right now, looks like there's a dust storm going on."

Both plants turned when they heard a soft yawn. Meryl stood in the hallway giving her eyes a slight rub. "What are you two doing up? It's late, and Knives, you should be in bed."

"I got up when I heard something, turns out it was him." Vash responded.

They both stared at the newly awakened plant. Knives was at a loss for words. His bewilderment of where he was and his lost memory were leaving him speechless at the moment.

"Knives?" Meryl questioned.

Knives carefully focused his eyes on her. 'This... human, this worthless spider talks as if she knows me. She talks as if we're equals... perhaps she is a mind slave?' He thought slowly. 'No that's not it. If she were she would not be calling me by my name. Then who is she to me? Why can't I remember?'

Vash and Meryl exchanged looks.

"I'd say you were having an episode but you haven't had one in months, and besides you're moving and your eyes are focused on me." Meryl said after the short silence.

"Episode?" Knives couldn't help but ask aloud. 'What the hell is she talking about?!' He thought.

A sudden pulse of pain in his head hit him and he staggered but Vash steadied him.

"Whoa, careful."

"Let's get him back to bed Vash." Meryl said firmly and Vash nodded and began to lead his brother back to his room.

'What do they think I am? An invalid?' Knives wondered.

Once Vash had settled his brother in his room he closed the door and treaded back into the living area where Meryl was waiting.

"If that wasn't the strangest behavior, I don't know what is." Meryl said shaking her head.

"I know. Do you think he's somehow going backwards in progress?"

"I don't know. I don't think so, but his behavior... it was so strange, nothing I've actually seen before. Maybe it's a new step for him, though it doesn't seem like he's going in the right direction." She sighed in exhaustion. "Let's not worry about it now. I'm too tried." She began walking back to her room.

"Wait, Meryl?" Vash suddenly asked.

She stopped in her tracks. "Yeah?"

"You know what I just realized?"

Meryl raised an eyebrow in question.

"We haven't really talked since I came back. Not once in this whole year since I returned with my brother have we caught up on each other."

Meryl gave him a look he couldn't read, and then folded her arms. "Well I guess not with Knives' condition and everything. He's been the sole individual to take care of. But, did you have something in particular you wanted to talk to me about?"

"Well nothing in _particular_… did I ever tell you I thought of you everyday while I was out in the desert fighting Knives? I thought of everything really.How I had to save my brother, Rem, but most of all I thought of you. I had to win because I wanted to be able to see you again and I wanted you to live in a safe world."

Meryl's arms slowly dropped back down to her side. 'Where is all of this coming from?' She thought to herself, 'and why now of all times?'

In the earlier days when she and Millie were still following Vash to keep tabs on him for insurance matters, she had slowly started to feel something for him. It had grown the more time she spent around him, and it grew further when he had to go off without her. Though when he returned with Knives she could see that all of Vash's attention was going to go towards his brother. So she focused all her attention on him as well, thinking that perhaps they could use the time they spent together looking after Knives to somehow bond.

It never really worked out like that. It became apparent in Knives' earlier stages that he favored her for some strange reason. She ended up being the primary caretaker for him. Not that she minded most of the time. Normally it was just making sure he ate. He never did anything else except to sit in his tree. But those days had passed, and from them her feelings for Vash had started to dwindle. Not because she felt anything less for him but because she didn't have time or energy to think of what she felt for him.

"Vash..." She managed to respond softly.

-

In his room Knives laid awake gazing at his ceiling, every fiber in his body alert as he listened in on Meryl and Vash's conversation. While hearing the last bits of it, he was more concerned with what they had said about his progress.

'What do they mean that my behavior is strange and that I might be progressing backwards? What was I like yesterday? A month ago, a year ago? What's been going on with me?'

The frustration he felt increased due to lack of answers his mind would not produce. His usual sharp mind was dull and when he tried to think too hard on the past it started to pound, not letting him discover its hidden secrets. The frustration only turned to anger when he thought of the reason for why he was like this in the first place.

Vash.

'What have you done to me?' He asked himself clenching his jaw. 'Tomorrow.' He resolved. 'Tomorrow I'll find the answers I seek, tomorrow will be your last day of peace until I find out what has happened to me.'

Satisfied with his plan of action Knives rested letting the quiet voices of Vash and Meryl lull him to sleep. "Tomorrow I'll have your spiders pay for your mistakes." He whispered softly before drifting off.

-

Meryl sat down on the small couch forgetting that she was tired. Vash sat next to her and rested his forearms on his legs while Meryl hugged herself slightly.

"I guess I haven't really been paying you a whole lot of attention huh?" She asked quietly. "Not even Millie, I've been so obsessed with Knives' health that I didn't really think about much of anything else."

"We were all obsessed with Knives Meryl. It wasn't just you. Don't worry about it. In fact, I'm happy that you've taken a liking to him. Even though this hasn't been his true self, its still represents a bit of the hidden part of him. Knives wasn't exactly the nicest guy, you know that, but no one would ever believe that he could be saved. But he can be, because he didn't used to have the beliefs that he does now. He used to want to see the human race flourish just like I do. So no matter what happens I know that somewhere deep in his heart he still has good intentions for plants and humans alike. It's just a matter of convincing him that."

Meryl nodded. Even though she knew what Vash said was true it was hard for her to imagine that Knives had ever been the killer that he was. 'Not when he's like this.' She thought to herself. She had only ever seen him as the catatonic plant, the plant of few words and emotions, but she knew that somewhere within lay a dormant killer who would not be merciful once awakened. All the same, she hoped for the opposite.

"Funny how all our conversations revert back to Knives." Vash said.

Meryl looked up at him. He was right, no matter what the intended conversation had been it always found its way back to Vash's brother. 'Though how could it not?' She reflected. 'He's been the dominating topic of all three of us for a year.'

'Its all been so subtle Meryl. Have you even noticed the small signs that I'm jealous of all the time you've spent with Knives? Of course not, I haven't exactly been wearing my heart on my sleeve.' He thought to himself.

"Do you love him?" Vash suddenly looked straight at Meryl.

She faltered. "What?"

"Err, never mind, let's go to bed okay? Good night."

Faster than Meryl could gather her thoughts Vash had left her side and had closed his bedroom door shut. Meryl stared hard at his closed door. "What did he say?" She asked out loud and then sighed. 'That's what I get for concentrating too hard on my personal thoughts. Well I hope it wasn't important.'

She stood to and began walking slowly to her own room. 'But then it must have been because right after he just took off.' A yawn overpowered her. "I'll ask tomorrow."

-

The very next morning Vash was awoken by a startled scream. Flinging his sheets off himself he rushed out of his room and into the living one, gasping at the scene.

Some invisible force was pinning both Meryl and Millie to the back wall. While Knives sat at the dining room table enjoying a cup off coffee and reading the local towns newspaper. Staring at his brother dumbfounded, Knives finally looked up realizing he was being watched.

"Oh Vash, it's about time you got up." Knives held up the paper he was reading. "Quite the piece of garbage this is, but never mind that. My mind is whirling with questions. Like who are they?" He asked nodding his head towards Meryl and Millie who wore and frantic scared faces. "Where am I, and why can't I remember any of this myself?"

Vash's eyes widened even further as he gawked as his twin.

"Please don't gawk Vash, they did it enough for all of you."

Finding his voice Vash spoke, his voice shaking ever so slightly. "Please put the Insurance Girls down Knives."

"Insurance Girls? Is that their names?" He asked.

Vash watched from the corner of his eye as Millie and Meryl were lowered to the couch by Knives' mind abilities. They stayed there making no movement but to eye Vash.

"The taller one is Millie and the shorter one is Meryl." Vash answered his brother's question.

Nodding Knives stood from the table and began inspecting Meryl closely, much to her dismay.

"Another relative of your precious Rem?"

Vash shook his head. "Not that I know of... Knives you're different." Vash noted. He knew his brother was back to normal but even so he wasn't acting the way he knew him too. His voice was calm and there wasn't even a hint of its usual edge of malevolence. He was looking pretty indifferent.

"Yes well I'm trying to absorb everything. I seem to have a block in my memory. Meryl, as you call her, assures me it's been a year since our fight. Is that true?"

"It is."

"Where was I during all that time?"

"Here. In fact, Meryl is the one who took care of you most of the time. She was the one to get you to talk and think again."

Alarm shot through Knives light blue eyes. "_Talk_ and _think_ again?"

Cautiously Vash explained the past year briefly to his brother and what his conditions were. The episodes he used to have, the states of utter fascination, his slow progress of speaking and thinking again and how he favored Meryl above them all.

"...that's just how you were when you became conscious again after I had shot you." Vash finished.

All three of them, Vash, Meryl and Millie waited silently staring at Knives. Waiting for him to respond.

"You actually defeated me in that shoot out?" Knives frowned deeply.

"How did you..." Vash began but stopped. He tried another approach. "How are you back? To your normal self that is?"

Meryl and Millie eyed Knives quietly with the same question burning in their eyes. 'That's what was different about his personality last night.' Meryl thought. 'He was back to normal.'

Knives gave each of them a hard stare; both Meryl and Millie gave a slight gulp.

'I've never had to be afraid of him.' Meryl realized. 'But now that his true self is back, what is he going to do?'

Knives' eyes stopped on Meryl. "I'm not entirely sure, but I do remember a faint pressure to my forehead." He reached up to touch his head with a hand. "As if it were kissed."

Vash and Meryl flew their eyes at Meryl.

She felt herself flush. "So I kissed his forehead! How was I to know that he'd be yanked out of his muteness?!"

"Meryl you actually kissed him though?" Millie asked. "When was that?"

"It was on the _forehead_ Millie and it was last night, as he fell asleep."

"I can't believe you kissed him." Vash said silently.

Meryl whipped her head at him. "On the FOREHEAD!" She seethed out. "It's not a big deal, at the time he practically had the mind set of an autistic child and aren't you supposed to give them a lot of nurturing?!"

"I guess." Millie said, but then smiled. "That's so sweet of you Meryl. You always did look after Mr. Knives like he was a son."

"Like a son?" Vash repeated. "Yes! Just like a son. I like that."

Their chattering stopped when they heard the front door close shut. Knives had left the room and when they trailed after him they saw that he was looking up at his tree, which was lush as ever.

"Knives?" Vash questioned curiously.

"Did I make this tree Vash?"

"Yeah, you did. It just appeared one night."

"Appeared...." Knives trailed off and hopped onto it, still favoring the one branch he had loved so much just days ago. "I don't remember it." He looked over the town that was bustling with rebuilding the burnt part. "And the humans? They don't touch it?"

"No."

"Good. I'll stay here for now. So, get lost."

Millie, Vash and Meryl gave each other puzzled looks before retreating back into the house at Knives' command.

"What's the matter with him? I thought after pinning Millie and I to that wall he'd do something unimaginable to us, but he just used us as bait to wake you up from your sleep." Meryl started.

"He _is _back to normal, isn't he Mr. Vash?" Millie asked.

"Definitely, but I don't what's up with him."

There came a knock on their front door. Vash answered it and saw one of the townspeople.

"We're starting to clean up the town..." The man trailed off as Vash was peering at his brother who wasn't paying the townsman any attention and was still gazing wordlessly at the town before him.

The man cleared his throat.

"Oh sorry." Vash turned his head back to the man. "You were saying something about cleaning up the town?"

"...right, well we could use all the help possible."

"Of course!" Vash chirped happily. "Oh, but umm..." His eyes landed on his brother again.

"I can keep an eye on him Vash." Meryl said quietly.

"Meryl he isn't in a daze anymore, he's back to his overpowering self. If he wanted too he could end your life with a blink of an eye." He whispered to her, trying to make sure the man that was still standing at the door couldn't hear.

"If that's so, he would have done it already."

"Don't give him the chance!"

"I don't think he'll hurt me or anyone at the moment because he's come to the realization that he couldn't succeed without you intervening and obviously you've proved that you're the stronger brother. I think he's stuck on what he wants to do."

Vash sighed. "Maybe, but still." He looked at Millie who was listening intently. "Millie you could stay with Meryl couldn't you?"

Before Millie could open her mouth to respond Meryl protested. "No Vash! Millie is the sort of person this town needs to rebuild itself, besides I need to think of a way to explain the fires to the boss in a letter. I'll be fine! Don't worry so much."

"Alright fine. But if he tries anything..."

"Vash I've still got my derringers."

Vash frowned. "I guarantee those wouldn't help you if Knives decided to rebel against you."

"Mr. Vash I think we'd better get going that man is looking at us strangely." Millie finally managed to interject.

Vash nodded and gave Meryl a be-careful look before he and Millie took off with the man. They headed into the main area of town where a large crowd had already gathered to receive orders in the rebuilding process.

-

Knives had quickly hopped out of the tree and out of sight, entering the house from a side window. He looked at Meryl, as she watched his brother and the other human walk off together with the man from town. He pulled out his black gun that he had found earlier that morning. Pointing it at Meryl's head he gripped the trigger firmly. Giving himself an inward sigh of annoyance he quickly replaced the gun in his hidden pockets, away from view just as Meryl turned.

-

Meryl watched them walk off and closed the door with a sigh. When she turned she let out a shriek. Knives was standing directly in front of her.

"You scared me. Wait, how did you...?" She looked out the window up at the tree that was now empty. Wondering how he had gotten in without her knowing she looked back at him. His eyes were dulled but it wasn't the same dullness she had seen with his former self.

"I heard what you said." He spoke.

Knives' voice was lighter, airier than how he had spoken with his brother.

"Said about what?" Meryl asked back. She was a little frightened of him because Vash was right, but at the same time she had gotten to "know" his other self. She felt she of all people could understand him. Maybe even as well as Vash did. Maybe better.

"About me realizing that I won't try anything since I know Vash is stronger."

"Oh, that."

His eyes narrowed but not in suspicion but curiosity. "And you're right. Not something I like to admit mind you, but you're right nonetheless. My plan has not ended in its intended fashion."

"Your plan to destroy my race?"

"Yes, that one." Knives averted his eyes from her and looked around at the house. He sat down on a dining room chair. "Vash was not supposed to win. I was."

"If you had won?"

"Then my plan would have gone on without a hitch and your race would have been extinct by now, replaced with my own."

Meryl remained standing where she was. 'Why is he telling me all this?'

"Why not? There's something about you..._Meryl _that seems so damn familiar, but..." He smirked in annoyance to himself. "I can't remember. I know my peace loving brother said that you looked after me for all these months and I trust that he's not lying?"

Meryl shook her head slowly.

"Yet, I'm positive that is not why you seem familiar. It's something else..."

Meryl waited for him to continue but he didn't. Instead he stared at her. "Are you going to stand there all day?"

She took a seat across from him. 'Just months ago I was sitting here wondering what was going on in his mind and now I'm talking to him.'

"What are you going to do now that you know Vash is the stronger one and won't let you get away with wiping out my race?" Meryl asked, thinking it was a rather bold move. 'But he's being open; why not ask him open questions?'

Knives lifted his arms and placed his elbows on the table. He leaned in and resting his head on his interlinked hands. Heaving a great sigh, he stared hard at Meryl. "Would you believe that I don't have a single idea? I mean, I suppose I could try to do it all again despite Vash, but he would just stop me again wouldn't he?"

"You could just stay here with the rest of us. Live in peace."

Knives snorted softly but smiled. "I could never live in peace with your people. Never."

"Try. You could find that we're not all as bad as you think we are. The reasons for why you hate us are due to actions of a small minority of people."

"I don't believe you."

"Knives I don't know who you observed to gain this retrospect of humans but you observed the wrong bunch. Maybe we didn't think ahead in the past and that's why we had to leave our last planet, but we have learned."

"You've learned nothing. You only want what's best for yourselves. In disregard for the planet and the plants who suffer to give you the energy you so easily waste."

'Why am I fighting with him about this? Do I really think I could change his mind after one talk?' Meryl thought to herself.

Not responding to Knives she stared at him softly, he returned the look and a few moments of silence passed between the both of them.

'I'll create a world in which you do not exist at all.' Knives thought and was struck with déjà vu. 'I've said that before… I wonder when?'

-

End of chapter 8

AN: Anyone read any good KMV fics lately? I feel like I'm the only one writing some right now. So if you're writing one or know of someone PLEASE let me know! There are too few! Especially one's where Knives ends up with Meryl. I like K/M romances.

I think it's time that Meryl and Vash had a moment don't you all agree? ;) Anyway, I hope all you Americans had a good Thanksgiving! I know I didn't. ugh. Please review!

Yours truly,

Faery Goddyss

Btw- I mentioned this in 'FoAL', but please refer to my user info for updates.


	9. Such Great Heights

Silent Pretense

Disclaimer: Do I own Trigun? What a foolish question, of course I don't.

AN: Hello dearies! Where have I been? Various places but mostly getting in high gear with helping my friend plan her wedding. sigh of exhaustion and then I joined Trinut (an online Trigun community) which I've been crazy about but the thing that's really been taking me away from writing my fanfic's is my new obsession with the South Park fanfics. I've been in an SP state of mind and every time I'd write something for this fic it would sound like an SP thing. Well, this chapter didn't turn out at all as I expected. Ah well, I've re-written it too any times, and if I don't just post it I'll give up entirely. So read on, and don't forget to review! Responses at the end.

-

With the deafening silence becoming too much for Meryl she stood from her chair and repeated her familiar movements of walking to the window and peering out at the town. She could feel the eyes of Vash's other half following her. It was a little unnerving to say the least but nothing she couldn't tolerate.

She glanced over at the plants calm light eyes before turning back to the window. Her heart gave a lurch. His eyes weren't the eyes of the being she had taken such gentle care of. The plant she had readily given her self to, in order for him to prosper looked at her in disdain.

Eyes never lied. You could try to hide your true emotions but your eyes could always give you away and Knives' were no exception. Meryl swallowed a small lump in her throat, her fear rising. Knives' eyes were still bored in the back of her head. And it became apparent to her then, just how much she loved him as a catatonic. He had been, dare she thinking it?, 'adorable.'

She gave herself a small smile and held her hand to her mouth to cover the lingering emotion.

Their talk had not gone as she would have liked, yet she marveled at how much Knives had been willing to reveal to her.

_Kind of like he wants you to find peace in his actions before he kills you._

The thought came from her subconscious and she jumped at it. Did he want her dead? It pained her a little to think he might. After 12 months of caring for the creature she found it hard not to develop a loving soft spot for him. It had always secretly made her feel special that Knives had singled her out. That he allowed her to do things that he'd react in a negative fashion to if Vash or Millie attempted to do the same action.

Meryl unconsciously gave her shoulders a rub, trying to block out the nonexistent cold air. Forgetting that Knives was in the room at all she continued her thoughts on the past year with Knives.

He could be so irritable without really portraying irritability, and those states of utter fascination... while concerned about what those could mean she couldn't help but laugh a few times when he had crouched down in the middle of the road to examine coins of all things. He looked like a curious child doing so.

Meryl didn't hear herself give a soft laugh out loud remembering that time.

And that tree... ah, Knives' tree. A mystery to all. Symbolic in its solitary glory. The way Knives sat up there so many days in a row without moving could set Meryl in her own small state of fascination. He always looked towards the falling suns, that was his preferred direction. He never seemed to be looking at anything in particular as his eyes weren't in focus, but Meryl had to wonder

'had his mind shut down, or was it something else?'

But then Kuro, the little black cat now missing in action, had been the first to really bring out a definite sign of life from the plant twin. But now he was gone, where too, they still didn't know. The previous Knives missed him, the reawakened Knives hadn't mentioned him, perhaps he didn't remember him. Kuro was just another missing piece in Knives' memory.

That in itself was bewildering. Meryl tipped her head in deeper contemplation. Why should his memory of the past year be gone? She sighed and shook her head. What good was it to probe for answers she would not be able to find?

She was divided on how she felt about this current situation. Knives was a killer but... could a killer change? Especially since it was Millions Knives?

'But, its good that he's back to who he really is, this is what Vash wants, this is what I... this is what I want too.'

_Why are you lying to yourself? Admit it Meryl you liked him before, you liked when you had to care for him, you loved him like that. You'd rather he be like that forever than like he is now. Now he can talk, think, now he can refuse you if he wants. Now he doesn't have to depend on you. You're not needed any longer. You're services have been rendered useless. Its only a matter of time before he ends your life. He's a killer and you're a human. Two big strikes,_

_neither of them in your favor._

_You spent a whole year wasting your time._

-

Knives never moved from the dining table both he and Meryl had been occupying. When she got up and walked away from him, he made sure his eyes followed the small woman. Her thoughts were loud and entered his brain in fast but clear thoughts. He let Meryl's memories of what she observed of him in the past fill the holes in his erased ones.

Along with her memories he read, came her whirl of emotions. Her inner battle was only slightly amusing to him. He leaned slowly in the back of his chair and tried to get more comfortable in the hard wooden chair. No luck, but he ignored it.

He heard the last thing her mind left her with. _You spent a whole year wasting your time. _Knives fumbled for a few moments while reaching into his pockets and extracting the black weapon. He eyed it before pointing it, once more at Meryl. This time he could have shot her dead, she never did turn this time. But the true final thought of Meryl Stryfe just now opened up to him.

'I didn't waste my time. I took care of Knives because I wanted too, I wanted him to get better, at least I know that even if he kills me I'll die without regrets.'

Knives gave another look at his gun. 'Such an intricate creature', he murmured to himself before placing the gun back. Scooting his chair back so he could stand properly, Meryl's head whipped back over to the plant.

Knives took noticed that his slight noise in movement caused all her previous thoughts and emotions to vanish as she stared at him wide eyed. Did she see his intentions?

'I'd forgotten he was even here.' She thought to herself giving Knives a careful look. "What?" She asked him out loud.

Knives was staring hard at her, not even blinking an eye.

"What are you staring at?" She asked more specifically and more forcefully.

Knives was at her side with a gun shoved at her head before she even saw him move. One hand was clutching the gun that was pressed into the side of her head and the other hand held her down against the wall so she couldn't move. What ever mind powers he possessed held her other limbs from moving.

She tried to gasp in fright but Knives' grip was too tight on her throat. She gazed into his ever calm eyes. Trying to understand what he was doing. Why he was doing this now. 'Will he kill me now?' she thought to herself closing her eyes.

Staring silently at the monster that held her she waited for the inevitable darkness, the pain she would never feel since the death would most likely be quick. 'Vash.' She thought. She saw his smiling face, his old red coat. Her last thoughts.

But when the pressure of the bullet hadn't come she allowed herself to open her eyes.

Knives' grip on her neck loosened but he didn't lower the gun from her head. "If I killed you, Vash would finally understand pain. He didn't learn when Legato died, perhaps he will now."

Even with her life about to be cut short Meryl's eyes softened in sadness. 'He really isn't the man I loved.'

Meryl found herself instantly dropped to the ground, she choked out a few coughs trying to get her flow of air back, she could feel the burning from Knives' grasp on her neck but she left the pain to dull out on its own.

Standing calmly, Knives backed away from her, avoiding her eyes. Meryl only watched him for a moment before taking notice that the suns had just started to fall. Was it getting that late? Vash and Millie would be back soon.

She didn't realize she was trembling until Knives touched her shoulder curiously. She jumped at his touched but refused to cower down.

"I need some fresh air, would you like to come?"

The second she suggested it she couldn't believe she did. Knives eyed her suspiciously but nodded. He had enough of the indoors.

Exiting the house, not even bothering to grab her signature white cloak Meryl walked ahead of Knives, in the opposite direction as the workers. She didn't want to run into anyone who would ask questions. Especially Vash and Millie.

The cool breeze began to irrate the nape of her skin, that was now turning a slight shade of red due to Knives' grasp. Giving it a slight gentle touch she let her hand drop when Knives fell in step next to her. Why had she made this suggestion? Were either of them going to bring up what had almost happened? How could she even trust herself with him just after he had attempted to kill her?

"I wasn't going to kill you." She heard the plant say. Turning to face him she saw he was looking to the side, watching the town's backdrop.

"I didn't really think so." She responded. And that was it. That's why she wasn't teetered by what had happened. The realization struck her hard as she met with Knives' eyes. He would never hurt her. Not badly anyway. 'Why?' She wondered. She knew he was listening to her thoughts and she didn't want to say it out loud.

'Because I favor you above the rest.'

-

AN: Short and uneventful... --; sue me. This story is getting way beyond my means. I'm just... I'm beyond being able to really SEE Trigun without watching it. I'll make sure the next ones better and I'll try and get that Vash/Meryl moment in. crosses fingers behind back

Review Please!

Yours truly,

Faery Goddyss

* * *

**Responses**. Remember I only respond to those who asked questions. BTW- I've never said this but I always respond to the last two chapters.-FG 

shiko- Kuro wont be coming back with a family, that much I can tell you but he will be back. I didn't realize how many Kuroneko-sama fans there were.

DarkGoddess29: little Knives remembered Kuro because it's a dream and while he was the young Knives he is still the current and older Knives. As to why he talked with Meryl and not the others, that's because I wanted to establish that he did still favor her even if he didn't remember. His subconscious still remembered her. Love you for asking question!

Triste1: As for the question on the editor thing I would... But I wouldn't trust my story with someone I haven't met personally, and of all my friends I'm the best at editing!

Neptune Butterfly: You were sort of right, its not so much of which side of Knives will win as more as will he choose to interlink them?

Mangaqueen: I love you! Lol, but I may cease to amaze you from this chapter. --;

Sephiroth1Ripley8: Thanks for the comment on my writing getting better, but I fear it may only get worse. I've had to switch from Word to Word Perfect which is crappier! :(

hope-is-4ever: Is the tree going to be symbolic for Knives' good side? I hadn't even thought

anything of it except it was a tree that Knives had made. But you got me thinking... so we shall see.

smiling cat: lol, my beloved maniac is back, that's funny. Well he isn't going to be quite so crazy but he'll have his moments. As for who will get Meryl I cant tell you yet! :) But I'll keep your plea in mind. Hehe.

**And thanks to**: animira, Pen Against Sword, Lynx Yamato, gothmiko, XsasukeRebornX, Lunis, inkydoo, Huntressraven, Neverland's Apprentice, DeepCrimsonOtaku, Mala, Valvah, HazelEyedFreak Who didn't ask a question but gave me lots of positive reviews! Thank you everyone!


	10. Moonlight Sonata

Silent Pretense

Disclaimer: Do I own Trigun? What a foolish question, of course I don't.

AN: Erb, don't kill the writer but no V/M in this. Hm...not much of a KMV thing happening. Well there will be eventually. Even I'm wondering when Meryl is going to pry herself way from Knives.

-

'Because I favor you above the rest.' Is what Knives had said to her through his thoughts. He opened his mouth to speak out loud before she could comment.

"Keep in mind that is compared to that idiot brother of mine and the other human. Therefore it technically means nothing." Knives added in as he started to walk away from her.

Meryl narrowed her eyes in irritation.

"Where would you like to get this fresh air of yoursཁ" Knives raised his head a bit and gave a sniff. "Doesn't smell particularly fresh to me."

"No one asked you." Meryl responded in a flippant tone.

Raising a brow in question, Knives didn't reply but allowed Meryl to take the lead.

"I didn't want to go anywhere near the town, but I've forgotten that I need something." When Knives didn't respond she double checked to make sure he hadn't gotten fascinated with anything. When she turned she jumped at him being directly behind her. He gave her a strange annoyed look.

"What?"

Meryl shook her head and laughed inwardly. 'Meryl this isnt the same Knives as last night. Get that in your head. He wont ever stop to observe the world of the mundane.' This created a faint sadness in her but she nodded in agreement at her own thoughts and she continued on her way listening to the faint sounds of the workers in the distance and the short deep steps of Knives' boots.

'I cant deal with any more silence.' Her thoughts screamed at her. It was unnerving when someone was walking directly behind you and especially when this someone had tried to kill you earlier, not to mention that he wanted your entire civilization dead.

'I've got to talk with him, the more we talk the more he can grow to understand what humans are really like.'

Just as these thoughts crossed her mind a group of men stumbled out of a building. They were surrounding one man and that man was obviously being attacked. Appalled at the outburst on the street Meryl interjected the fight being able to break it up only when she revealed that she had a few hidden derringers on her ankles. The men murmured nasty things at her while they retreated.

Turning her head back to the man that had been the token punching bag she saw that he was coughing up blood and that he was clutching his stomach. She rushed to his side.

"Let me help you up sir." She offered gently, the man merely pushed her away and stood himself.

"I didn't ask for help from a woman." He spat out before staggering away into the distance.

Sighing, Meryl stood and saw that Knives was looking over at her. A smug look on his face.

"Is this what humans are really like then?" He asked.

Meryl pursed her lips together to keep herself from saying anything to the plant that would make her want to use one of the derringers on him. "Let's just go."

Walking for a bit more, Meryl entered the store she had meant to enter weeks ago in order to get a new typewriter. She had been able to use the company typewriter when she had made her short return to Bernardelli, but using them while on duty was against company policy and therefore every employee had to buy their own.

She was greeted with a forced smile from the owner. Meryl gave him her most cheerful but the owner wasn't even looking at her. His eyes were focused on her company's. Knives was making his way down the short aisles picking up things and placing them back in disgust.

"Miss Stryfe isnt that Vash's mute brother?" He whispered to her, never taking his eyes from the awakened plant

"Oh, er..." Meryl and the owner glanced over at Knives who felt their eyes but ignored them and continued to eye the, what he saw as, worthless crap. "Yes it is. He's um, back to normal again."

"How did that happen?"

Meryl thought of her kiss to him that had somehow brought him back. "He just woke up normal," she lied.

Meryl cleared her throat. "Anyway, a typewriter, have you got any new models avaibale?"

The owner looked back at Meryl only to shake his head. "The newer models don't get shipped out this far yet. We've only got the old versions and we only have the one." He gestured to the back of the store.

Sighing at the prospect of using such an old machine, Meryl nodded and bought the old thing anyway.

"Knives?" She called out, she noticed that the owners eyes bugged out at the name. 'It is unique.' She thought to herself.

"What?"

"Could you grab that typewriter for me? The one right in front of you?"

Blinking hard when Knives picked it up without even a small bit of reluctance, Meryl said a goodbye to the owner and together they left the shop.

"We can drop it off at home and go for a proper walk alright?" She paused to give Knives the chance to reply or say something like "its not my home" but he said nothing and headed towards the house.

Before they arrived there Meryl heard her name being called.

"Merylཀ"

Turning and seeing both Millie and Vash headed in her direction she smiled. They were both covered in dirt, they had obviously been working hard. As they got closer their smiles faded when they noticed that Knives was beside Meryl. She glanced over at the plant who even looking aloof, looked a little out of place holding her giant black typewriter.

"Brother..." Vash said slowly, eyeing Meryl questionably.

"Hmph," was Knives' reply and he never even looked at his other half.

"What are you and Mr. Knives doing Meryl?" Millie asked her friend.

"Just running this one errand and getting some fresh air is all. Isnt that right Knives?" Meryl turned a naive look at the man beside her. He said nothing.

'What's going on?' She wondered.

"Knives perhaps you and I could talk later on tonight? I wanted to ask you something." Vash suggested to his brother. Eyeing him closely, but still Knives said nothing and Meryl immediately noticed his grip on her typewriter was getting tighter.

'He's shakingཀ' She realized. 'Shaking in complete anger...' she looked from Knives to Vash. He didn't seem to be picking up the vibes. Anger was spewing from Knives and he didn't notice, but then again... Meryl looked at Millie, normally the most observant of the two. She didn't notice either.

'How strange,' she said to herself. "What's wrong Knives?" She said quietly so that only he would hear. Upon saying that Knives dropped the typewriter on the ground and the others watched appalled as the machine fell to the ground and burst into different parts and pieces.

"Knivesཀ" Meryl began, and was near ready to begin chastising him for breaking the writer she _just_ bought when she got a good look at his face. "Knives?" This time she repeated his name much softer.

It didn't matter, all the sounds that had seemed soft earlier now pounded at his head. Along with his very sudden migraine came the memories. His thoughts reminded him that Meryl had asked him what was wrong many times before.

_The Tree_

_Meryl leaving_

_The fire_

_Meryl returning_

_that cat... Kuro..._

_A soft gentle kiss to the forehead_

_The dreams_

_Don't you recognize the woman you love Knives?_"

Knives only got flashes of memories but none of them were connecting and they made his head spin uncontrollably. Knives could feel his body start to sway, promising him he would fall if not caught. With his eyes un-focusing he made out only one image he could see in the far distance. Was that a...? Could this tiny town really have its own...?

He felt cold but gentle hands steady him, he couldn't hear the voices owner but he knew who it was and even in this state his anger and stubbornness refused to give in.

"Do not touch me Vash," he hissed, taking all his energy just to talk.

Millie, Vash and Meryl exchanged looks. Millie took her chances and approached the dizzy plant.

"Mr. Knives...?"

"Don'tཀ" Having said that so loud Knives staggered a bit and nearly did fall but he felt the small hands of Meryl steady him and place him back on his two feet.

"Let's get you to the side of the road so you can sit." Meryl's voice was determined, she had expected a protest from Knives as well but she never got one. Walking him to a bench that was at the edge of the dirt road she felt Vash's eyes watch her.

Sitting Knives down gently she checked his forehead. No fever. Once seated Knives' spinning head began to calm itself and he saw that Meryl was supporting him. Believing Meryl had served her useful purpose Knives lifted his head from her shoulder where it had landed in slight displeasure and embarrassment, but once he had set his head perfectly straight the pain returned, but thankfully leaving the flashing memories behind.

He shuddered and let his head drop back down on Meryl's shoulder. He took a few deep breaths after hearing Meryl suggest them. Her voice was distorted but he understood. During these series of catching his breath he felt a cup being lifted to his lips.

Opening his eyes to see what was being inserted into his mouth he found Vash holding the cup, his face plastered in his brotherly concern. Knives managed to sneer and smacked the cup away out of Vash's hand. He saw the surprised hurt look on his brother's face and it made him feel content so he allowed his eyes to close once more.

His head still pounded and he could still only hear the distorted voices of those around him, but he felt someone attempting to have him drink something again. As he started to open his eyes to inspect the person the light forced his eyes shut.

'Too bright.'

When had the light started to make the migraine worse?

He heard the familiar sounds of Meryl and felt the cool cup on his lips. Knowing she was now holding the cup he allowed the cool liquid, water, to enter his mouth. He felt it flow inside him and he instantly began to feel refreshed.

The wind was picking up and blew his hair over his eyes creating that annoying tickle. 'Damn ha-.' He had began to think 'damn hair' but was cut off when he felt the warmth of Meryl's hand brush it away.

"She's done this before..." He thought he said in his head.

"I've done what before?" This time Meryl's voice was finally coming in clear. The distortion from minutes earlier had passed and he felt himself coming too. Had he fallen asleep?

He lifted his head from her shoulder and stared at her. She stared back. The headache had passed as well as the flashing memories, but at least he had been able to grasp those and keep them before they disappeared. He looked around and saw that his brother and the other human were gone.

Meryl noticed he was looking around. "They had to get back to work. Vash wanted to stay of course, so did Millie, but I assured them all you had was a headache and that it would pass in time."

Knives frowned. "Vash couldn't wait a few minutes for my headache to pass? Some devoted brother." He murmured the last part to himself but Meryl heard every word.

"It may have only seemed like a few minutes to you Knives but Vash waited here for over an hour. You fell asleep and he could only wait so long."

"I fell asleep?"

"Yes."

"... on you?"

Meryl nodded. Knives made a sound Meryl didn't quite understand.

"Besides I insisted that Vash go, you didn't seem like you wanted him around anyway. Yelling at him even in your pain, and smacking that cup from his hand, he really-"

Knives cut Meryl off and stood. He waited a few seconds to be sure his headaches wouldn't return, then he turned to look at Meryl who didn't look happy at being interrupted in such a rude way.

"Why would I want his help? Did I not tell you I favored you? Do you not listen human?"

Meryl gave Knives a lopsided look, she couldn't restrain the smile. Knives saw the smile but did not return it.

"I assume you've gotten your air, now I want a walk away from you humans."

Meryl jumped up beside him. "You're not going alone, especially since you're getting over a headache. That wasn't a normal headache. Suppose it happens again?"

Knives thought of what she was saying. The minute he had awaken one image had consumed him. The image lay far ahead of him, a little ways past the town. Up on a small hill... He gave Meryl a nod and she made out to be the leader of his walk heading for the less populated area of town.

Instead he walked ahead of her in the direction of the towns energy source. The plant angel. Meryl took notice of this right away, her intention had been to walk towards the outskirts of the town. Not towards the towns energy source, one of the many reasons Knives despised the human race.

"No Knives." She told him, but naturally Knives ignored her completely and continued on. Having no choice but to follow him Meryl ran to catch up with the plant who had sped up his pace after taking direct notice of the plant angel.

The angel bulb was arranged like many others. Encased withing the large transparent bulb that was partly attached the remaining metal of the old ships. The angels were never guarded and this one was no exception.

Walking up the small sand formation that lead to the energy creature, Meryl eyed Knives who had become eerily quiet as he studied his fellow being. Part of the bulb lay within the metal of the weathered ship and the other half was exposed. Meryl slowly followed Knives into the empty ship. She watched him hesitate at the fragments of the door before walking in, she silently followed.

The shadow of the bulb covered part of the interior area of the ship. The ship itself was really nothing more than a giant heap of scrap metals. Just like all the others, it was a fragment of what the entire ship used to look like and giant holes allowed rays of fading sun light to pore through. Sand was their floor and the bulb itself took up the majority of the space.

Meryl awed at the angel. She'd never really seen one up close, but the plant angel produce a small glow of light and it looked to be sleeping. As if tranced by it's mysterious glow Meryl took a few steps toward it but was stopped firmly at Knives' harshest voice.

"Don't you dare."

Meryl didn't argue but watched as Knives did walk up to the plant angel. He laid a hand on its bulb and a sort of humming noise began.

'Are they... talking?' She thought. This wasn't the way Vash had communicated with them, but Vash and Knives were as different as night and day, and yet still one in the same. Knives slowly removed his hand and sat against the hard metal shell of the remained ship, eyeing his kind.

"They can never truly be free." He said suddenly.

Meryl pondered on the idea of sitting beside him. She opted out and sat across from him, with the plant angel to the side of both of them. The suns had finally sunk and now the only light available was the light of the night sky and that faint glow being emitted from the angel. Meryl could barely make out Knives' silhouette in the poor lighting.

"Even if I were to kill every human, even if I did create the Eden they could never leave the confinements of the bulbs."

"Why is that?" She asked quietly, not exactly sure if Knives was talking to her or just talking out loud in general.

She noticed his head move slightly and she realized he hadn't been talking to her after all. She couldn't tell what he was doing exactly but she had a faint idea that he was studying her face to she of she really was interested or if she was just trying to make polite conversation.

"Because", Knives paused before continuing. "They weren't made for this planet, this atmosphere. They've been encased within those bulbs for so long that if they were to be freed from them now, they'd die. They would have to evolve first into what Vash and I are."

Meryl wanted to ask more but from the tone of his voice this was obviously a dangerous topic to be discussing so she said nothing in return. A slight movement caught both of their eyes and they saw that the plant angel had woken and was looking at them.

Knives stood at once and approached it, saying nothing and doing nothing. The hum she heard earlier started again and stopped when she saw Knives give a slight bow of the head. Knives turned form the creature and settled once more on the metal frame.

"Tell me, why did you ignore Vash like that earlier? You really hurt him." Meryl asked.

Knives stiffened and gave a hmphed noise.

"Why should I acknowledge him? He's done nothing but to be a thorn in my side."

"He's your brother and despite what you've done in the past, what you may still be planning, he wants to take care of you."

"It's nothing but pity. I don't want it."

"It's not pity... why not accept what Vash has to offer you?"

"There are a lot of things about the relationship of my brother and I that you do not know. So stop prying."

Meryl said nothing for a moment.

"Today, when we met up with him, I saw you shaking with anger Knives. You were grasping my typewriter so hard I thought for sure it would burst in your hands. What could you possibly have to be angry about?"

Knives leaned his head against the frame of the ship and directed his eyes skyward.

"...for half a second during our last fight , when Vash shot me his eyes changed. For half a second I could see he wanted to kill me. It was only for half a second. But it was long enough. My brother, the only one I love with all my being, the one I tried to create a perfect world for wanted to end my life."

"But he didn't."

"No, Vash is too kind for that."

"And haven't you tried to kill him before?"

"Never. Maybe it seemed like it, but all I wanted was for him to feel pain, not for him to be dead. I love my brother, its somewhat obligated in that I must feel that way for him, and currently all that consumes me is finding a way to be free from him. But I always want to be sure that he's still out there somewhere. Alive and a preferably a little miserable."

Meryl wished she could see Knives' face, but the darkness of the night made it impossible. When a cold chill swept through her small body Knives glanced in her direction.

"Let's head back."

Following suit as Knives stood, Meryl's face was filled with clarity as she heard the softness that couldn't have been, but had no other option to be, Knives' voice. It would be best not to point that out to him.

Walking out of the plant angels residence, after a farewell gesture from Knives they both proceeded back into the desert to head back to the house. The entire walk was in silence as they both absorbed themselves in their own personal thoughts. Every moon created its own light which cascaded on them, guiding them back.

Knives stopped in his tracks momentarily when the re-entered the town, and Meryl stopped beside him, looking up at his face curious to why he would halt. Her eyes wandered to the same direction his were in, and she saw Vash sitting on the steps of the porch. His arms resting on the upright position of his legs.

"You don't have to talk to him now if you don't want to." She said quietly, aware that Vash had probably seen them long before they had seen him.

Knives didn't make a reply but did in fact walk right past his brother without a word and into the house, leaving the door open for Meryl. But she stayed outside and looked at Vash who didn't return her gaze.

"We were with the plant angel up on the hill," she whispered for some reason.

Vash gave a faint nod and said nothing. Meryl released an unconscious shiver and Vash turned to look up at her with a small smile. "You should go inside if you're cold. Millie made dinner."

Meryl nodded and did as Vash suggested, leaving the blond haired man with his private thoughts, joining Knives at the table as they both exchanged a look before diving into the last meal of the night.

End of chapter 10

-

AN: First off, what happened to all the Vash/Meryl fans that I once had! Did you drop me because I seem to be favoring K/M or did I somehow convert you to become a bigger K/M fan than V/M fan? That would be kinda cool.

Second, my apologies to mangaqueen13. Why am I apologizing? Well you may notice a similar scene in this chapter that was in the first chapter of 'Tribute to Legato'. Uh, yeah I'll explain that if you want me to in an email. Hehe...hee.

Third, Thanks for all the reviews everyone! Seriously! I've always gotten the best reviews, never anything to damper my spirit as a writer and that's in complete part to all of you! You all keep me going! I'm not sure how much longer this story will be... but, we'll see...

Now if you'll excuse me I need to dope up on ibuprofen.

Yours truly,  
Faery Goddyss


	11. His Broken Wings

Silent Pretense- _Side Story_

Disclaimer: Do I own Trigun? What a foolish question, of course I don't.

AN: Chapter 11 is a bit of a side story of SP. Since Millie has such a small part in SP and will continue to have a small part in SP, I thought I'd write a short side story in which everything that has been happening is seen from her side. It veers off from the main track a little but it still deals with SP. I've never been good with writing what Millie would say, so this may be OOC.

Oh, and I might as well just tell you all sinceCrAzY-Fan-Fic-Addict has started thinking it. Vash and Millie _wont_ be getting together. I've never liked that pairing and I never will. If I ever wanted Millie to get some lovin', I'd pair her with AC, like Dr. Neil (who...isnt even in this story) :shrugs: that's that.

* * *

_His Broken Wings_

It seemed the days carried enough tension to cut air.

Millie had never been one to stand on the side lines and watch, but there was something pulling inside her that said to stay back. This whole situation was a little heart wrenching to just watch but she kept her distance.

Her cheery smile was always on show for all her friends, they seem to need it. Vash had entered some sort of depressed state due to the ignoring that Knives was giving him, and Knives himself seemed to be twisted inside. He seemed to be fighting some sort of internal battle and he obviously didn't like her in the least. Anytime she came near him he'd snap at her in the most vicious of ways.

Meryl. She was the one trying to keep them all together. Millie couldn't even tell if her best friend was happy at the moment. Millie knew that when Vash had returned her glow of true happiness had shown brighter than it ever had. But as they both learned of Knives' strange condition, her glow faded, and was replaced with a curious and frustrated aura.

From the beginning, when Knives showed it was Meryl and not Vash who he didn't mind being around, Millie had taken to getting closer with Vash. If only for his sanity. The fact that his brother wanted nothing to do with him, and that half the time he didn't seem to recognize him, might have driven Vash up the wall otherwise.

He had never voiced it to Meryl, but Millie knew Vash felt entirely responsible for what had happened to Knives. Vash felt he had somehow broken his brother's psych and that it would never be repaired.

The times when Meryl was able to get some sleep and pry herself away from her patient, Vash always looked after Knives, as Millie had witnessed so many times. But the distance between the twins was too apparent and it was making Vash crumble internally. Luckily, Vash had been able to get that job at the donut shop. It kept his mind off of what he couldn't assist with.

As he began working again, he returned to the cheery and bubbly man Millie and Meryl had first encountered as Claim Investigators. He still tried to help with Knives if he could, and grew less depressed when Knives rejected him. But the wariness still lingered and Millie watched it develop as Knives got better progressed with his mannerisms.

When the fallen plant began to talk, Vash was the most excited; when he realized it was only to Meryl, he hung his head and said nothing about it.

Millie continued to be exuberant for Vash and he did his best to return it, even if it was only a facade. With Knives getting better and awakening from his catatonic sleep , Meryl paid even more attention to him, not really forgetting about her other friends, but being too excited at the idea that the true Knives may be returning.

Vash didn't respond to this well. On a day when he was supposed to be working, Millie had come across him standing in front a bucket of water, tossing coins into it.

"What are you doing Mr. Vash? I thought you were supposed to be at work?" she had asked him.

He had turned, slightly startled, obviously forgetting where he was.

"I was, but then I thought I would come out here for awhile. Why aren't you at work?" he had asked back.

Millie grinned and rubbed the back of her head. "I thought I'd increase my break a few hours!"

Vash gave off a light laugh as he continued to toss coins into the water filled bucket.

"What are you doing that for?" Millie asked, eyeing Vash as he tossed coin after coin.

"Making wishes I guess."

Millie cocked her head in confusion.

"I know you need a fountain but this town doesn't have one, and I figure if I wish at least twenty times a day my wish might come true, and when I'm done, I can reach in the bucket and get my money back without people giving me strange looks."

She finally understood; she smiled at the last bit. "Do your wishes concern Mr. Knives and Meryl?"

"...yeah." Having run out of coins Vash settled himself on one of the dusty benches that were against the side of the dirt road while Millie sat down beside him.

"I didn't think he would ever get better and now.. look at him! He's talking again...," Vash's excitement only held for a moment. "Meryl has been good for him..."

"She is, but of course that doesn't mean she's forgotten about you Mr. Vash. I know she's wrapped up with Mr. Knives now, but she still knows you're here for her," Millie smiled.

Vash couldn't hide the sadness in his face, with a slight blush creeping in his cheeks. "You think so?"

"I do, and you should tell her you love her. It'll make things better for you."

Vash froze, and Millie released a cheerful laugh. "Don't worry Mr. Vash, she's so occupied with Mr. Knives that she hasn't noticed in the least."

"Oh... that's good. I think. Do you want to know when I figured out how I felt about her?"

Millie nodded.

"When Knives started to consume all her time. Can you believe it?" Vash let a short laugh escape his lips. "I realized I love her when some other guy, my brother at that, takes her away from me." Vash frowned. "That sounds kinda selfish, doesn't it? After all, Knives needs her devoted attention."

Millie didn't say anything, thinking that statement over. It was true Knives did need Meryl's devotion, as it finally seemed to be paying off, but she couldn't say that to Vash.

"It's not selfish Mr. Vash. You can't help how you feel. And if you ever need to talk about Meryl, just remember that I'm always here and am willing to listen!"

Vash turned and smiled at Millie, his first genuine one towards her in awhile. They sat and talked a little more together before they both decided they had spent too much time away from their jobs. They parted ways, agreeing to meet up after work to walk home together.

With the continued passing of the days and Knives constant improvement, Vash and Millie often spent time talking together when Meryl was busy attending to Knives' needs. Vash hadn't told Millie, but she could feel her attention to him was keeping him optimistic. Because of both their natural cheery natures, anytime either of them started to feel low on the future outcome of Knives, they would joke around until the other was laughing.

In the time that Meryl and Knives developed a relationship and got closer-as close as Knives allowed-Millie and Vash did the same. Their friendship evolved into a stronger one as they became each other's confidant.

When Knives returned to who he truly was, Millie could see that Vash was frightened and ecstatic all at the same time. He expected Knives to remember the warmness that Meryl had showed him, but he hadn't remembered anything. He only remembered the fight which he had lost. Where Vash had caused him more pain, physically and emotionally. Again, he withdrew from his brother and again Millie watched Vash valiantly try to keep his smile on while holding in his inner pain.

"She's getting closer to him," Vash confided in Millie the night Meryl and Knives had gone off for a walk together.

Millie didn't say anything for a moment as she leaned against the side porch railing. Vash was right, even she could tell. Millie hadn't been spending as much time with her best friend as she used too, and therefore hadn't gotten the opportunity to ask Meryl the question that had been bugging her for awhile. 'Is Meryl really falling for Mr. Knives?'

She never thought it possible, Millie was a firm supporter in her friends' hidden feelings for each other. But every extra moment Meryl spent with the distant plant was another moment Millie felt Meryl was possibly slipping away from Vash.

"Maybe you should wait out for them? I can fix dinner and you can wait till they come home."

"You think they'll come home tonight?" Vash asked wistfully.

Millie glanced at Vash, somewhat appalled at what Vash was implying.

"Of course they will, you'll see."

"Even so..." Vash intertwined his fingers and looked at the dark sand, painted black by the night. "When they do, I'll bet that they'll be that much closer, that much further from me. Both of them."

Millie so badly wanted to comfort Vash from the words he had just given her. But for once in her life she didn't know how to make the situation better, because this time, she thought, maybe, just maybe, Vash was probably right.

They had all had some interesting times when it had just been the three of them and the deceased Priest, now Knives was a new presence in this tight knit group. Millie didn't want to think it, but she couldn't help it. Knives alone, could possibly be the being that could tear apart this group. Despite his harsh words to her and his dominating personality, she had always wished him good health. Unfortunately the only one he emitted even an orb of softness for was the woman he was with right now.

Millie looked at the starlight blanket that hovered above her and her blonde haired companion.

"Mr. Vash, I know you're hurting because of both Meryl and Mr. Knives, but... have you ever considered of just... letting it go? Not them, but the pain it's causing you? I know it'd be hard but who you are now... it isn't you. It isn't how Meryl knew you either. This new personality you've taken on is getting lost in the shadows." Millie laughed. "How can Meryl pay you any attention if you're not annoying her in some way?"

Vash looked up at Millie curiously. "I annoyed her?"

Millie laughed again. "Constantly! Don't tell me you really didn't realize that? It's time you got out of this depressed state. Go back to being the cheerful guy I know you are." Millie's voice softened as she looked down, and met Vash's curious blue eyes. "Go back to being you. That's the guy Meryl and I both love more than anything."

Vash let a soft smile emerge from his lips. "Thanks Millie."

They heard voices in the distance. "I think that's them." Millie smiled softly. "I told you they'd be back tonight. You know, if you talk to her, Meryl will listen, no matter how tied up she is with Mr. Knives."

Vash nodded, but he had no intention of talking to the short insurance girl. Not with Knives looming close by, the way he did. He listened to Millie's footsteps starting up the porch stairs, the sound of the door opening and closing, all while keeping his eyes on the two distant figures.

_End_

_- _

AN: The next chapter will get back on track! (And its already written, but its complete crap) Please read and review! I wasn't going to do responses in this chapter but I got suckered in by all your wonderful reviews. Oh! And everyone say hi to my new editor **_Triste1_**! If you catch any grammar, spelling, etc., problems, blame her:) (Except on the authors notes that's still just my unedited babblings.)

Yours Truly,

F.G.

* * *

Shiko- Well as you can see its Vash who gets jealous of Knives and Meryl, but who knows, I could turn the tables and I probably will. 

Sephiroth1Ripley8- Don't worry, I'll be careful, and hopefully I'll be sly with the future V/M. And I'll let Knives answer your question about why he'll continue to kill all humans regardless of it not helping plants in later chapters!

vashluver1- Sorry but you're not invited to the wedding. :( Haha, I'm so happy I lured you into the K/M pairing as I know you're a big time V/M fan! I'm definitely working on the more triangle thing. I haven't read The Edge of the Sea, but I'll take a gander out it someday soon. :)

inkydoo- You asked "when knives has a gun to her head and she says "he really isn't the man I loved," is she talking about vash or knives?" I'm responding with muahahaha, I'll never tell! No, I'm just kidding, she's talking about Knives. That will be addressed in future chapters.

GabbyFang- You didn't ask a question, but you somehow managed to post your review three times. I just wanted to point that out as I was intrigued.

Magnet-Rose- You'd better keep reading! I know where you hang out!

Pen Against Sword- Calm yourself:) I PROMISE I will not just stop suddenly and never finish this story. I know I sometimes say I will because I'm frustrated but I would never do that in a million years. And I have to put SOME V/M in here! Its KMV, you K/M fanatic:)

hope-is-4ever- Not really getting tired of writing Trigun, so much as I'm running my imagination dry. And I have not forgotten about Kuro, but he's off doing whatever he does when he isnt around Knives. He'll be back, I promise!

phoenixwolf- Its good to know that there are people out there who will sit and never move until they finish reading my story! Haha. :)

CrAzY-Fan-Fic-Addict- I addressed the Vash/Millie thing, sorry. But I'm more than pleased that you've been swayed to the side of Meryl/Knives. Now I NEVER said this was going to be a K/M fic, keep in mind that it's a KMV and even though it looks like Vash isnt in the running strange things can happen, and stuff can change...

foxmagic- You chose _my_ story out of _all_ the other Trigun fics to be your first fanfic read ever:sobs with appreciation: Thanks so much! I love V/M too, but I'm such a major fan of Knives I cant ever count him out in anything. Please enjoy the rest of this story!Besides my thought process usually is if you want Vash/Meryl go check out one of the other hundred other stories with that pairing.

smiling cat- You want action huh? Ehhh... I'm not good at writing it, but... we shall see.

Just call me Blue- I was wondering when and if I'd ever get a review from you. I've converted another to the K/M side! Whoo hoo! They'll be plenty more Knives Meryl goodness in the future.

**Much thanks to everyone else as well!**  
kk, Triste1, Lunis, HazelEyed Freak, sataness-ov-desire, nidaba, gothmiko, Party-Pooper101, DarkGoddess29, and some anonymous people as well! Thanks again everyone! See you all soon!


	12. Take the Reins

Silent Pretense

Disclaimer: Do I own Trigun? What a foolish question, of course I don't!

AN: I don't know if plan to bring that much action into the story. I'm not good at writing it, but I did have this one idea... Chances are I'll put it in another story all together. As always, thanks for all the wondrous reviews everyone! Free hugs for all!

Knives retreated to bed immediately after eating, not saying a word or sparring anyone a glance. Millie headed to bed soon after and Meryl was about to as well when she remembered a certain someone was still outside on the porch.

She glanced out the window to see Vash still sitting in the same position as before, as if he hadn't moved at all. She pondered the thought of joining him outside, but his face showed that he was still deeply lost in thought and she didn't want to disturb him; so saying nothing, she turned and went to the room she shared with Millie, with the intent of getting some sleep.

After a few hours of restless tossing she felt her body tense when she heard the unmistakable sound of walking in the hallway. She sighed a sigh of relief when she thought Vash had finally come inside, before she realized that the footsteps were headed away from the rooms, not toward them. Sitting up she quietly walked out of the room, careful not to wake Millie.

Turning on the kitchen light she looked around but didn't see anyone. Her eyes widened when she saw that Vash was still outside. 'It has to be at least 2 in the morning!'she thought to herself. Quickly grabbing a wool blanket that was tossed askew on the couch, she opened the front door, allowing the florescent light of the kitchen to fall on Vash's hunched back.

Feeling a sudden warmth around his body, Vash looked up and was met with Meryl's worried face. She had just place a warm blanket around him. He gave her a soft look.

"Thanks."

"You're welcome."

Meryl sat down beside him and unconsciously pulled the blanket around herself, trapping the body heat they both gave off inside the thick cloth.

"You shouldn't still be out here, its freezing," she went on.

"Is it?" Vash replied in a way that made it sound more like a statement.

Nodding, Meryl turned her head to the sky, following Vash's lead.

"Its one of the rare unchanged beauties of this planet-the night sky. It was said that on the planet we originated from, the pollution had gotten so bad that stars couldn't be seen anymore throughout most of the planet."

Vash looked over at Meryl thoughtfully.

"Mankind's carelessness led to that," she added softly.

Frowning Vash turned to look at the dark, cold sand that was beside the porch, "That sounded like something Knives would say."

"You're right," Meryl yawned tiredly. "You've been coming out here a lot at night haven't you?" She changed the subject.

Vash didn't have time to utter a denial before Meryl shook her head and smiled.

"There's no point denying it. Of course you have, I've heard you."

"You never came out to investigate before," Vash pointed out.

"I thought it was Knives for the longest time. When he was that silent plant he came out here a lot. He didn't always go in his tree though, sometimes he'd just sit out here, but he'd always return to bed. I never wanted to interrupt those sessions because I knew he must have been thinking, and I didn't want to throw him off in case he was returning to his true self. You know how he was

sometimes." Meryl gave another smile, this one more tired.

"... no, I didn't. He didn't let me see any of his progress. Even when he wasn't himself he still managed to make sure I wasn't a part of his life. And now he doesn't talk to me at all."

Realizing what Vash said was right, Meryl's face turned a light shade of red. 'Why wasn't I thinking! To rub in the fact that Knives has always favored me over him!' She thought to herself.

"Vash, I'm sorr-"

"Its alright Meryl, it's not your fault Knives shuts me out and accepts you. It's kinda good that he accepts you since you're human. It's a good step for him I think."

They talked a little more, about Knives, about what was going to happen with him, and Meryl slowly grew more tired. Vash felt the light weight of her body pressed against his. She had fallen asleep, in the same manner that Knives had fallen asleep on her earlier.

She could be so irritatingly perceptive. He had made sure not to make a sound, but the air that had been invaded by his mass had woken her. 'How could such a small change in the atmosphere wake her up!'

When he heard her stir, he had quickened his pace through the kitchen and had gone out the side window. His brother was still lost in his trance so he hadn't heard him as he climbed skillfully int the tree.

Just as he had hopped through the window, the kitchen light was turned on, and he could see her inside looking around, wondering what had passed through the hallway. He eyed her as she grabbed the blanket and went to his brother. From where he was the darkness of the night sky with the shadows of the tree hid him from view, so he was able to listen to their conversation without bein caught.

He rested himself against the cool tree trunk and let the voices of Vash and Meryl fill the silent air. When she had mentioned mankind's carelessness, his eyes rose in interest, but she had quickly changed the subject. When they had started to talk about him, he listened more intently and when she fell asleep Vash spoke.

"Don't hide in the shadows like an outcast. Why don't you come into the moonlight Knives?"

Not at all surprised that Vash knew he had been listening, Knives hopped from the tree and walked toward his brother and the sleeping Meryl. His eyes flew past Vash and landed on Meryl who was breathing heavily due to the way she was sleeping.

"Up to talking to me?" Vash asked quietly, eyeing his brother who still hadn't really looked over at him once.

Knives slowly sauntered closer to the porch steps and saw that there was plenty of room for him to sit on the opposite side of Meryl. He took the seat. Both plants froze as Meryl stirred, and as she stirred, her body switched positions so that she was now laying against Knives.

He stiffened when Meryl pressed her head harder into his chest and was ready to push her away when his eyes caught his brothers. Knives turned away to let a smile drift into the air. He left Meryl where she was.

"Your jealous eyes give you away, Vash."

Vash immediately looked downward. "I don't want to talk about that," he responded quietly.

"Neither do I. I just thought I ought to point out the obvious to you. I know you love this human."

"Honestly, Knives..."

"Not only do I loathe your company but it seems she does as well. If she pressed any further into me it'd practically be-"

"Enough!"

Vash clenched his hands and looked away when he heard Meryl shift. Knives was content.

"What do you want to talk about brother?"

"You. What's been going on in that brain of yours?"

"Be more specific, if you wouldn't mind."

"What are up to? You cant really like being here, I can still see the fire of hatred burning in your eyes and yet you allow Meryl into your life. Why? What's the point?"

"Why not? I'll get rid of her eventually. It isn't my fault she drops her guard so easily."

Whipping his head back over to Knives, Vash's eyes fell on his brothers hands

that were wrapped tightly around Meryl, not in a caring embrace, not in a protective or possessive way. In a clenching embrace as if he meant to squeeze the life out of her and when Meryl gasped in her sleep he let go of her.

Knives studied his brother's scared eyes. Once again, he had been close to killing her, and once again he didn't.

'_And why is that, Knives? You're getting too soft for you own good,'_came a little voice.

'It's that memory, or it seemed more like it had been a dream. Didn't you hear what it said?'

'_Of course,' it said. '"Don't you recognize the woman you love?" So what? It was only a dream.'_

'And that doesn't perturb you in the least bit?'

'_Why should it?'_

'Because my dreams are closer to fact than fiction.'

'_...its just a dream.'_

'I don't think it's just a dream.'

"Knives?" Vash's voice interrupted Knives' inner conversation. His hands were starting to clutch Meryl again. He quickly released her.

"Calm down Vash, she's still alive."

"I'm starting to think you would never kill her," Vash mused softly.

"Do you want to test that theory of yours?" Knives asked acidly. He jumped to his feet, causing Meryl's body to get flung forward but Vash caught her before she hit anything. It was wonder she was still asleep.

"I'm going to bed," Knives declared and left his brother.

"But I wasn't done talking to you!" Vash protested.

"Well I'm done talking to you."

Stepping back inside, Knives left the two of them and retreated to his room, sitting slowly on the bed. He had been avoiding the flashes of memories that had crossed his mind during his latest dizzy spell, but now they came back full force, and he analyzed them all carefully. As he laid down, his eyes clouded over while he stared at the textured ceiling.

He took a deep breath and closed his eyes. As in the past, the darkness around him became a moving picture, displaying images he had already seen and some that were yet to be seen. When Knives re-opened his eyes, the image of a black cat stood out from the other faded images. In the background was an orange glow which could be nothing but fire.

'Where are my memories?' he wondered, and as he focused on his surroundings, he was startled by the swift movements of something outside his window. His heart had quickened its pace as he looked outside and saw the faint image of something running off around the corner of the house. The glowing yellow eyes made the hiss of the animal more eery than it already was.

"That cat..." Knives murmured as he laid back down, deciding that tomorrow he would delve deeper into what his mind didn't want him finding out.

The next morning Knives turned away from the invading sunlight, doing his damnedest to keep it out of his face. When a loud knock on his door woke him further, he made a growling noise to keep the intruder out.

"Mr. Knives! Breakfast!" Millie called out.

"Go away," his words were calm but were full of malice. If there was anyone he despised more than his brother, it was the one that was outside his door now. When the sound of his door knob turning reached him, he turned to face the door with his outstretched angel arm, allowing it to grow and generate. The first one to open his door would be the first one to die that day.

The energy from his arm began to increase as his door slowly opened. 'I never liked her anyway,' he thought, taking aim.

Just as Meryl stepped into the room, Knives' arm went off, the stream of light creating a red glow in the room. It barely missed Meryl's face as the stream was re-directed upwards causing the shot to penetrate the ceiling. Both Meryl and Knives watched as a giant hole formed in the roof, as the debris collected on the floor of Knives' room, and as the dust rose in the air.

Meryl felt the hair at the side of her head fly and a few strands fell to the ground. Her hands rubbed over the tip of her ear and she cringed at a slight sting on contact. Her fingers were covered with the smallest amount of blood. She looked through the dense dust over to Knives who was still lying down on the bed, meeting his eyes as the angel arm went back to normal.

They eyed each other while taking in the complete mess that was Knives' room, silence mixed in the air with the dust. Meryl opened her mouth to say something and Knives rose an eyebrow in anticipation. She firmly shut her mouth and walked out of the room, closing the door behind her.

'Hmm... that wasn't an expected reaction,' Knives thought and climbed, literally, out of bed dodging the beams from the roof's frame and waving the lingering dust away from his face. Once he got out of his room, he saw that Meryl was still standing directly outside of it. Her arms were folded and her small frame was leaning against the opposite wall. When he emerged she stood and raised her hand,

preparing to give his face a slap.

"I'd think twice before attempting something like that," Knives told her coldly.

She sighed, clenching her hand that was still in the air before dropping it back to her side and together they both proceeded into the kitchen where Vash and Millie waited.

"I'll be damned if you think I'm cleaning that mess up," she muttered to him as she took her place at the dining room table.

End of Chapter 12

AN: Please read and review! I'm so horrible at updating, I update like once a month. Sorry everyone...Oh and there might be some funky spacing going on in this chapter. It uploaded really weird, but I hope I got it all. If not, please point it out!

Yours truly,  
Faery Goddyss


	13. Running on Adrenaline

Silent Pretense

AN: I have news! Magnet Rose has drawn some fanart for Silent Pretense! I never thought anyone would actually do that for me! Go check it out! I put the link to view the art in my bio. I'll pass comments on to her if you don't have a dA account and would like to comment on it. Otherwise you can go to Trinut (info on that also on bio) and comment there! Its beautiful everyone! Go look!... **after you read this!**

Disclaimer: Do I own Trigun? What a foolish question, of course I don't!

* * *

During breakfast, Knives eyed Meryl curiously for a change of pace. She didn't meet his eyes and continued to eat her meal, conversing with Vash and Millie as she did so. Knives heard Vash say something to him but he pointedly ignored him, and in reply he heard his brother release a heavy sigh. When Vash stood, preparing to leave for work, he still refused to acknowledge him and only when Vash asked where the dust was coming from in the hallway did he look up at his brother. 

He watched Vash walk down the hallway, before glancing at Meryl who finally caught his eye. Knives listened to the sound of his bedroom door being opened and looked passively at the dusty air that was billowing by. Millie saw it and gasped slightly as she went toward his bedroom herself. When he heard his bedroom door close and the footsteps that followed he looked up at his brother.

Vash's arms were folded tightly against his chest, his face was grim. Knives stood slowly so that his eyes were level with that of his brothers. One thing he hated, along with many others, was being looked down upon by his less than perfect brother.

"I'm sure you can guess what I want to ask, but I'm going to ask you anyway. Is there a reason you blew up your room?"

"I had to redirect my aim so as not to hit a certain someone," he responded honestly. In this case, the truth would anger Vash enough for him to get slight amusement out of it.

Vash bit his lip and his eyes fell on both Meryl and Millie. Millie had been with him the whole time.

"You tried to kill Meryl?"

"No, I thought I'd be killing her." Knives nodded his head in Millie's direction whose eyes widened slightly. "I wasn't in the mood to be woken," he told her. "It was her voice at the door but Meryl was the one who walked in, so, as I said, I redirected my aim. The blast from the angel arm had to hit something. Better this shack of a house then her, don't you think Vash?" Knives' eyes twinkled in a manner that made an unnoticeable shiver go down Vash's spine.

Knives blinked and suddenly found himself eyeing a sliver gun pointed at his head when his eyes reopened. He frowned slightly.

Millie gasped and Meryl stood suddenly.

"Vash," she said firmly.

Vash flicked his eyes over to the two women before they landed back on his brothers. The gun stayed where it was. "This is just a warning Knives. I made a new vow to never kill again after Legato's death but no one knows what could happen if you hurt Meryl or Millie. People are prone to doing vicious things in a fit of rage."

"But you're not a person." Knives replied calmly.

Vash frowned as he lowered his gun. "No, I'm not that lucky. Millie, ready to go to work?"

Millie looked at him in slight surprise before answering, "Uh, yes, Mr. Vash... but are you sure you want to leave...?" She glanced at Knives who was keeping his eyes on his twin.

Vash looked over at Meryl. "Are you going to be okay?"

"I'll be fine. Like he said, he didn't intend to kill me," Meryl answered.

Vash nodded and hid his gun back into the folds of his clothing. As he took a few steps toward Meryl, he noticed a small cut on the tip of her ear. He lifted his hand and brushed his fingers over the healing cut. He looked carefully at it and then met his eyes with Meryl's.

"He hit you?" He asked softly, with an edge of malice.

Meryl shook her head softly. "Not on purpose and just barely." Meryl watched the blonde man before her frown as he thought some things over.

"Are you sure you don't maybe want me to stay? I could call in sick today and-"

Meryl cut him off with a quick, "Really, I'm fine Vash." When his face didn't look reassured, she reached out her own hand and grabbed Vash's other hand that was laying limply at his side. She gave it a gentle squeeze as she stroked the back of his hand. "I'll be fine, you'll see."

Vash retracted his hand that had been inspecting Meryl's cut, his cheeks flushing a faint red.

"Besides," Meryl went on, releasing Vash's hand as she ignored the thumping in her chest,"I'm not cleaning that up – Knives is. It's time he knew what the term manual labor meant." She smirked at Knives who was already frowning.

Vash and Millie soon made their leave and Meryl put the dishes in the sink, cleaning them immediately after. 'What was that?' she thought to herself as she remembered what she had felt when she held Vash's hand. It was supposed to be a small gesture to reassure him and now it was bringing doubtful thoughts to mind.

'Do I still...? I mean, even after all this time?' Her thoughts continued. When Knives spoke she jumped, dropping the plate in her hand and sending it crashing down to the wooden floor.

"You've been washing that same dish for ten minutes. I think its clean," he said, and when she dropped the dish he gave her a queer and slightly disgusted look.

The plate, which was made of a tough element, was intact, not even receiving a crack. As she bent down to pick it up, her hand met with another and she glanced over at Knives before straightening up. She allowed him to pick up the plate and hand it to her. She placed it back in the sink, washed it once more for good measure and finished up with the dishes before picking up a damp rag to wipe the kitchen table and counters.

When she was done, Knives watched as she disappeared down the hall. Returning with a large metal box, which was obviously heavy since she was panting, she put it down gently on the floor. Knives' curiosity got the better of him and he walked over to the box and glanced at it, then returned his eyes to Meryl who was smiling.

"I looked back in your room. Pretty much everything is salvageable except a few pieces of wood. I can have someone drop off some new pieces of plank later on in the afternoon. Meanwhile, you can get started."

Knives' eyes narrowed as he growled out, "Started with what?"

"Re-patching the huge gaping hole in your room. You caused it, so you can very well clean it up and fix it yourself."

"If I say I'd rather not?"

Meryl frowned. It was true that she couldn't exactly force him but suddenly her eyes lit as she thought of something. "Well I guess you don't have to and you probably don't know the first thing about construction anyway. The last thing anyone would want is for the structure you 'fixed' to come crashing back down. I'll call a professional."

Knives scowled at the woman, "Any 'professional' wouldn't be nearly as good as myself." Knives picked up the heavy metal box that held a various supplement of tools and headed for his room.

Meryl laughed to herself when the plant was out of earshot. When Meryl began to hear the pounding of metal against wood her smile widened and she set out to finish the morning chores.

When she had finished, she took to reading a book she had been putting on the back burner for ages. When hours passed and the sounds of Knives working didn't cease once, she frowned, placed the book down on the couch and walked into the kitchen, filling a glass of cool water. Walking into Knives' bedroom she saw it was already looking much better and her eyes widened

in awe. Knives couldn't have possibly built a house before and here he was knowing exactly what to do. It was high noon, so the suns were directly above her and their sunlight shone through the hole the room still had.

Meryl shielded her eyes from the strong rays and looked at Knives who was on the roof, still banging nails into the wood.

"Knives, take a break!" She called out, wondering if he heard her over the noise he was making.

When the hammering stopped, she tried to look for him but couldn't due to the glare of the sun.

When she felt someone snatch the glass from her hand, she lowered her arm and saw Knives standing across from her. She watched as he gulped the water down quickly, before shoving the glass back at her.

"Get me more," he said in such a rude manner that Meryl was about to protest when she realized something. The plant in front of her had discarded his shirt and she could see it lying on the floor. He was breathing somewhat heavily as he wiped the sweat from his forehead with the back of his hand, ignoring the sweat that covered his chest area.

Meryl hadn't intended to stare but her eyes roamed over the healthy plant's chest, torso and arms. They weren't like Vash's. Knives' body, at least the upper part, was scar free, but just as muscular as his other halves. Meryl had seen Knives' bare chest before when she had to remove the bullet from his shoulder all that time ago, but she hadn't been focused on it. Her eyes had been on the bullet and her attention focused on the task of removing it.

"Your body..." She trailed off realizing how odd that sounded, but she quickly continued, "you don't have any scars."

Knives looked at her carefully. "Well, unlike Vash, I feel no need to punish myself with ridiculous reminders of all the things I've done. If he wants the burden those ugly things carry, fine. It doesn't mean I ought to carry them as well. Why are you looking so hard anyway?"

Meryl was about to say something in response when she felt a blush creep into her face. She turned on her heel and made her way out of the room and back into the kitchen to refill Knives' glass. Before stepping back into the room she inhaled a deep breath. However, when she walked in, Knives was no longer standing inside.

"Knives?" She called out, again shielding her eyes from the rays of the suns as she tried to look through the hole.

Not getting a response this time, she headed outside through the front door and walked along the side of the house where Knives should be working. When she heard some giggling, she looked over in the direction of Knives' tree. A few children who must have been from out of town were playing, carefree, around and on it. Meryl smiled at them and turned her eyes to the other side of the house. She gasped when she saw Knives standing on the roof pointing one of her derringers at the children by the tree.

'Get them away from it,' she heard Knives' fuming thoughts and she quickly walked over to the children and ushered them away much to their dismay. Sighing in relief that they didn't put up much of a fight, she looked up at the roof as Knives lowered her gun.

"Those were children! Don't tell me you actually had the intention to shoot them!"

Knives shrugged as he replied, "What does them being in younger forms have to do with anything? They're still human and they were touching my territory, in case you did not notice, and, by the way, these little guns are crap. Now come up and give me that water; it seems you took your time."

Meryl hmphed and was tempted to dump the water onto the sand where she stood, but, reluctant to start a fight, she walked over to the side of the house Knives was working on. His shirt was still off but she swallowed the lump in her throat and pushed all impure thoughts aside. She focused her attention on getting on the roof which looked impossible without a ladder.

"How did you get up there?" She questioned when she realized they did, in fact, not have a ladder.

"I jumped up." Knives looked down at her, seeing the dilemma. He smirked at his superiority and reached an arm down.

"What am I supposed to do with that?" She asked looking at his arm. Knives frowned in reply.

"What do you think? Grab it and I'll pull you up."

"You'll pull me up? You couldn't possible hold me."

"I realize you're probably not the lightest of feathers but I'm a plant – my strength exceeds that of a human and I think I can lift you of all things." He responded annoyed.

Meryl felt a surge of anger rush through her at the suggestion of her weight but let it slide. When she grabbed a hold of Knives' arms, it occurred to her that this was probably the first time they had made contact willingly towards one other. When Knives tightened his grip around her arm, she knew. She knew that he could support her.

"Make sure not to spill the water," Knives said as he pulled her up.

Settling herself on a firmer part of the roof, she handed Knives the new glass of water and watched again as he downed it. He tossed the empty glass through the hole, making sure it landed on his bed. The second she was up there, she came to the conclusion that she didn't necessarily have to be. It would have been much easier if she had simply handed the plant the water.

"No, I wanted a word with you," Knives said out loud. Meryl didn't bother raising a protest on his invasion of her thoughts. Besides, he wouldn't have allowed her a word in. "I had no intention on involving you in my memories, but I'm getting rather... frustrated." He started.

"Oh?" Meryl asked as she tilted her head to the side.

"Every time I receive one of those headaches, a series of memories, flashes really, enter my mind. I have them, but I don't know where they're from and I know you must."

"Okay..."

"There's always a cat. I've even seen it around here."

"Oh...that's probably Kuro, and you've seen him?" Meryl asked in slight astonishment. It had been ages since she had seen the feline.

Knives raised an eyebrow and Meryl went on to clarify. "It showed up one day a long time back, the time when you were still in a sort of catatonic state and followed you everywhere, but then one day it just... stopped coming around. We didn't know where it had gone off to, and even though you didn't act like you cared for it when it was around you, you sort of withdrew a bit more when it left. I think you missed it even if you didn't know you did."

Knives nodded, though he could hardly see himself attached to a cat. "There's also fire, at least I believe it's fire."

"Right, that. You haven't seen the results of it because I haven't let you go that far into town, but half of it's burnt down to the ground. It's in the process of being rebuilt but it'll take some time. At one point I had to go back to the city of December for work related things and it seemed you didn't agree with that, so you set fire to every town at the same time on Gunsmoke except the city I was in. You even sent me a note that said I could now come home."

Knives nodded slowly, he was remembering it now on his own. Though, it seemed as if he was remembering through the eyes of someone else rather than himself. Something struck him and he spoke up, "I cant do that."

"Do what?"

"Start fires, with my mind."

"Have you tried?"

"Do you want me to?" There was a hint of irritation in his voice.

"Of course not, but the thing is you did, Knives. You did start the fires in each town simultaneously with your mind."

Knives stared at the house for a moment. "I've never attempted something so... boring and ordinary."

"Does Vash know you can do that?"

"I didn't even know I could do that. But I suppose if I put my mind to it, it's not an impossible feat for a being such as myself." Knives turned his head back to Meryl; he looked a little tired.

"Maybe you should come inside and rest a bit?"

"I'd rather not."

The slight pick up of a breeze caught Knives' attention and he inhaled deeply, focusing on his tree, watching as a few leaves dropped from its thick branches. "I'll rest on the tree, my tree."

Meryl nodded without questioning the plant. As he hopped down from the roof he looked back up at her, his arms extended toward her.

"Hurry up."

Trusting him, Meryl allowed him to help her down, fully aware that she was nearly in his embrace. Their eyes locked, but the wind gave a persistent blow and Knives broke away from her, heading to the tree.

End of chapter 13

* * *

AN: In this chapter, Knives has finally made himself useful. Mmmm... shirtless Knives. Ahhh... now please R&R and dont forget to check out the fanart in my bio by Magnet-Rose! Oh and a few responses. Hope to see you all soon!

Yours Truly,  
FG

* * *

Lunis: Chapter 11 reminded you of The Sims? That is so random. Ahahaha. 

vashluver1: V/M action, gosh I'm bad at that, but its happening... I think.

SweetestChick: Good luck with your decision on choosing K/M or V/M. It is hard, but I obviously want to turn you to a K/M fan.

foxmagic: I'm really glad you're liking the K/M I'm dishing! I always love when people open their hearts to new couples. Well... K/M anyway.

Just call me Blue: Ahaha, you really don't have to call me sensei. Its kinda cool but more weird than anything. Lol. Really, do what you want with your own story. Though, I'm sure I already told you that by now. Screw what the readers want, its YOUR story, and make sure you don't forget that. If they want Knives/Millie when that wasn't your intention than they can go write their own Knives/Millie story!

hope-is-4ever: Yes, I don't like the idea that one guy wont get Meryl. But don't worry, it'll turn out happy for everyone in the end... oops. Have I said too much? Hehe. I like giving little things away every so often.

inkydoo: Every once in awhile Knives _has_ to throw a tantrum (I've recently decided that), and him blasting a hole in the ceiling and wall, almost killing Meryl was it. And of course Meryl took it well, she gets him now, and realizes she couldn't really do anything about it.

ReadingWhiz89: Wow! I'm glad this is your first K/M experience. It can be awesome! Little and big Knives... yes... that. I've finally decided the outcome with that, but I wonder if anyone will like it... hmm...In the end Knives will remember most if not everything that happened when he was in... "remission". I hope you haven't disappeared because I haven't updated in two months. I'm not usually THAT bad with updating.

CrAzY-Fan-Fic-Addict: Gosh, I'm really sorry for sounding like a complete bitch when I said this wasn't going to be Vash/Millie. My friend pointed out how cold I had sounded. I'm really sorry! Thank you for keeping that open mind that this is STILL a KMV fic.

The8thSin: You changed your pen name! I thought about doing that, but I'm Faery Goddyss for way too many things. As you can see, Knives isn't in that much trouble. The Trigun crew is just rolling with this little tantrum. Glad to see you back! I missed your reviews, they often made me laugh.

igbogal: Hey, don't get depressed yet! This is a KMV fic. So Vash _will _get some love.

**Thank you, thank you to everyone else! Much love:throws kisses: And I'm glad everyone liked chapter 11.**


	14. Different Sides of a Paper Cup

Silent Pretense

**AN: **I need to wrap this up, don't you all think so? This took almost three months to write. I kid not; I was literally working on this all three months. Every few days I came back to it, but I got nothing. EDITED:)

_Italics _is the dream. Enjoy then!

Disclaimer: Do I own Trigun? What a foolish question, of course I don't!

* * *

Knives watched as Meryl proceeded back into the tiny house, leaving him alone. Just as he wanted to be. Inhaling a deep breath, he sat back against the strong trunk and lazed a leg over the side, swinging it slightly as he looked skyward. 

He was no longer tired; now his heart thumped against his chest and he was trying to slow it down back to its relaxed pace.

'What's going on with me?' he thought to himself. 'I was fine on the roof and then... then when I had to bring her down, that's when my heart... what the hell is going on?'

His eyes bored into the small house, as though if he stared hard enough, he would be able see through it. He couldn't, of course, but he knew where Meryl was, simply by a feeling. He released a sigh; Knives was getting sick of being annoyed and tired, but he was. Tired of having such a gap in his memory, tired of feeling useless, of _being_ useless, and most of all, tired of forever being his brother's shadow.

Only one thing kept him from taking off and never looking back, but it wasn't something he'd readily admit.

"Damn you, Vash," he said to himself for the nth time since he had been defeated. His eyelids grew heavy, sending him into ethereal darkness.

_Knives sat, sipping his favorite drink at the dining table. The table rested on a piece of grass land. Looking off into the distance, only darkness met his eyes. The only light came from some unknown source that he couldn't make out. He couldn't even see the direction from which the light came from. Sitting across from him at the round table was a miniature version of himself, sipping a drink that was assuredly less toxic than his own. _

_His younger self was sitting with his legs dangling over the edge of the chair — he was too short for his feet to reach the floor — as he glanced up at the older Knives._

_"How is she?"_

_"Who?" asked the older of the two._

_"The woman, the one Rem said...," he cut himself off mid sentence and started again. "She's short with dark black hair."_

_"Oh... her. Her name is Meryl."_

_"Meryl," the little boy muttered, saying it a few times to himself deciding he liked the name well enough. "How is Meryl?"_

_"Well enough I suppose," he looked down at his younger self, watching him place a few strands of his long blonde hair behind his ear. _

_  
"Can I see her? I want to see her," the little one said suddenly, looking up at the older male._

_"What are you talking about? You see her everyday. _We_ see her everyday."_

_"But I want to see her through my eyes, not yours."_

_"We're the same being."_

_The little one thought hard on that reply, nodding slowly to himself in agreement._

The front door of the house opened and Meryl crept outside, slowly closing the door behind her. She walked quietly across the cold sandy floor, wrapping the blanket that was draped around her body tighter, trying to trap what little warmth she had to herself. It was already night, and the temperature was cooler than she was used to. She looked up at the plant who had fallen into an unconscious state in the place he felt most comfortable.

Millie and Vash had already returned from work and had marveled at Knives' progress with the ceiling. When asked where he was, Meryl had let them know that he had fallen asleep in his tree and had been in such a state all afternoon. It wasn't like him to sleep so long now that he was "awake", and in her slight worry, she had come out to observe him.

_"She's here! I can feel her! Let me see– no, talk to her!" The young Knives proclaimed._

_"Why?"_

_"Because I want to!"_

_"No. You have to stay here."_

_"But that isn't fair!"_

_"Stop acting like a little brat. You're being intolerable."_

_"I'm you!"_

_"My answer stays the same. You will not talk to her... unless you give me a valid reason for wanting to." Knives stared down as his younger self hesitated a moment, as though he didn't want to confide in the older Knives. He was finally met with his own eyes._

_"Rem taught Vash and me all sorts of things. About humans, about the world they left behind and the future they wanted to create." The older Knives raised his eyes to the ceiling, or what was supposed to be the ceiling, in annoyance. Of course he already knew this — he was there — but he let his younger self continue on anyway. "Rem became everything to Vash, with her soft words and kind gestures. But she wasn't anything to me; her knowledge only went so far and her answers were not at all satisfying so I withdrew, but I was still a child. I still am, and even though I learned to loathe her, I still wanted... I still want someone like her. And in case you've forgotten, we love Meryl."_

_"I have not forgotten," he whispered before speaking up. "She'll know — she'll know automatically that it's not me who's talking to her." _

_"That's what makes her special. She can sense a difference in the same person. Vash always had Rem, he went to her for everything, forgetting I was there half the time. He rarely wanted my advice in anything. Why have mine, his own brother's, when he could have hers?" The older Knives noticed a hint of bitterness tinging the small voice._

_In a sudden released sigh of contentment, the bitterness left the younger voice, while the older tensed slightly. "She's stroking our hair," said the young Knives while the older nodded in agreement._

_"Hurry up and go then," the older Knives told his young self._

_The young Knives nodded, his long hair waving about slightly. Before he turned to leave, he gave his older self a strange look, "Why are you being so kind?"_

_"It's not in our nature to settle for something less than what we want."_

_The younger blonde smiled and slowly opened his eyes._

It had taken a ladder and a lot of careful maneuvering before Meryl was able to adjust her body so that she sat comfortably on the tree branch beside Knives. At first she had reservations about climbing onto his precious piece of nature. But he hadn't ever given her direct orders to stay off it, maybe those children from earlier in the day, but never her.

She didn't know what possessed her to start stroking his hair; it was probably the look on his face. He looked so content, so at ease, in the way only sleep can create… she couldn't help herself.

Meryl stopped stroking Knives' hair, pulling her hand away when she saw him stir. 'Damn, I woke him up,' she thought to herself. As Knives' eyes opened further, something about them caused Meryl to lean in to get a closer look rather than back away.

"Knives?" She wondered out loud.

Knives said nothing but he gazed at her steadily. Meryl gazed back and her eyes widened.

"You're not the... you've… Knives you've… you've relapsed, but you're not… who are you? I'd better get Vash and Millie."  
Before she could leave, his hand brushed her cheek as he voiced his reply, "No. Stay here with me."

Meryl stared down into the light blue pools and didn't move. "What's going on?" she whispered to herself. Even though she was confused and had no idea what was happening, she reached her hand over to the top of Knives' head, patting it gently. She pulled her face in close against his light, wildly cut, blonde hair.

"You have to come back Knives, back to who you really are. I know it must be hard for you, I can see that old look, that old childish look I saw every blue moon when you were catatonic. But… I need you to get the other Knives back okay?" As she kissed the top of his head, she heard him release a barely audible whine. "Don't worry; I'm still going to be here, and I do love you Knives. I won't leave you."

She let him fall back asleep with his head resting on her arms.

_The younger boy strolled next to the older man who was waiting expectantly with his arms folded. The young Knives bit his lip in order to suppress his laughter. His older self looked quite pissed._

_"You heard everything then, and you remember it all? You realized what I did?"_

_"It's not your right to take my body for a year!" The elder blonde seethed out in anger._

_"But you were unconscious and in a lot of pain after Vash shot you. Even though I was the prominent self, I couldn't talk much and I couldn't feel much because, after all, I don't technically exist anymore. I'm the past and you're the present. Only when you started to get better was I able to do more and then when she kissed us for the first time, it was like a bomb and you woke up, overpowering me. Don't know why that triggered you awake though...," he wondered to himself for a few minutes before shrugging. "I guess it doesn't really matter."_

_The older Knives' lip narrowed. "Going then?"_

_"Kind of, I'm you after all so I'll still be here, but I'll just be a memory." He looked away warily._

_"You did get what you wanted right? So you won't be rearing yourself again? You'll be silent?"_

_"Yeah," he smiled. "She hugged me, and she kissed me and, best of all, she loved me, and never gave up on me." He smirked, "she's far better than Rem ever was."_

_"I can agree with that..." Knives faltered a moment before he continued on. "You did some rather interesting things to keep her near."_

_"You mean the fires?" He grinned, "Everyone can get a little desperate when the time is right. Besides, would you expect anything less? I am just as much Knives Millions as you are."_

_"Yes... you are." He watched as the long haired little boy yawned. "I don't suppose you'll return it to me?"_

_"Return what?" The young one asked._

_"The power to create fire."_

_He shook his head at once. "Meryl would be displeased with me if I did that."_

_Knives frowned at the shorter lad. "You're going to do everything to stay on her good side?"_

_"Pretty much. That means not helping you; you understand, I'm sure."_

_"Doesn't mean I have to like it. You're saying that you no longer wish to wipe out the human race?"_

_"Of course I do! I hate them, just as much as I used too. Unfortunately, I love Meryl more than I hate her race, and so I've made my decision."_

_The younger version looked carefully at his older self. "What are you going to do? Are you going to leave her? I won't let you, because if you leave her than that means I have to as well. And I won't allow that."_

_"You won't allow it?" Knives frowned, and looked down at the defiant child that was glaring up at him._

_A moment passed in silence and Knives looked away from the young boy still glaring daggers at him, waiting for his answer. "No..." he began distantly. "I won't leave her… I think I love her too."  
_  
End of chapter 14

* * *

**AN:** Did that make sense? A bit of multiple personalities, that wasn't my original route. Note that it's only bits of the psychological disorder, and then it isn't even scientifically correct. What made this so hard to write was I've forgotten all the little details of Trigun because I haven't watched it in ages. Please let me know I still have readers (though it'd be understandable if I did not) and review! Thanks in advanced to those who do, the reviews mean a lot and I love that so many of you haven't given up on my chapters which are becoming more and more sparse. 

Yours truly,  
Faery Goddyss :)


	15. Red String

Silent Pretense  
_Red String_

Between each  
true love  
is an invisible red string  
tying their hands together.  
Nothing can break that string...

"_Good," said the little boy with a smile as he faded into the darkness from where he came._

Knives was awake but he didn't stir and he didn't open his eyes. He could feel his head still resting in Meryl's arms. When he realized her breathing was heavy and consistent he dared to open his eyes. She was asleep, her body resting against the center of the trunk. He attempted to lift his head without waking her, but her body stirred due to the loss of weight and body heat.

She lifted her lids slowly and looked at Knives who stared back at her. In her confusion of being woken she started to say something, but Knives interrupted her before she could say anything.

"Go back to sleep," he ordered.

While she would normally argue with Knives' obvious orders, Meryl did as she was told. Granted, she didn't go back to sleep now that her mind was awake and curious, but she did comply with the basic principle of sleep by closing her eyes.

It wasn't until she felt herself being lifted, after she gasped in surprise at the sudden contact, that she realized that she trusted the plant enough to know that when she closed her eyes no harm would be done to her. When she understood that she was being carried, she wanted to open her eyes but abandoned that idea as she didn't want to anger Knives any more than he was. But… was he angry?

He seemed to be, partly, but at the same time there was a definite change in the plant's aura. What it was exactly, she couldn't tell.

She heard the sound of a door being opened, of footsteps and then she heard Millie and Vash's voices.

"Knives what are you-" Knives was never one to let Vash finish his sentences. Meryl couldn't tell what happened but it seemed Knives brushed past Vash without saying a word. She heard the sounds of another door opening and then closing and then she felt herself being lowered, gently, onto the softness of a bed. She waited with her eyes closed for something more to happen, to hear the sound of Knives leave, but after a time and nothing happened, she opened her eyes.

Knives was sitting in a chair looking out the window. The image reminded her of the earlier days with him when he sat looking out the window without an expression. Like those times, something was off about him.

She sat herself up slowly; careful not to make much noise, but of course it didn't matter. He heard the movements and turned his head to look at her. He was giving her a look she couldn't read and she looked back at him uncomfortably.

"You're supposed to be sleeping." He told her simply and she gave him the oddest of looks.

"You can't think I'm tired now. You didn't really carry me out of that tree did you? That isn't even possible. But never mind that," she said changing her thoughts. "What was that earlier when you woke up before? Well…more like, who was that, to be specific."

"It doesn't matter, he won't be coming back."

Meryl looked a little disappointed and Knives took note of that. "But there was someone else then, in your eyes? I'm not going crazy?" she continued to ask.

"No on the last and yes on the first." Knives stood up and walked to the bedside, causing Meryl to lean back in automatic reaction.

"Don't tell me; you're scared of me now?" he asked, looking at her, still with an expressionless face.

"Of course not," she said back defiantly, moving back in place, placing her extremely close to the plant.

"Good," Knives moved back. "Now go to sleep."

"I just said I'm not tired Knives," she said in protest.

'This is ridiculous,' she thought to herself. 'He can't make me sleep. What's he getting at anyway?'

Having walked to the door, Knives stopped as he opened it to slowly turn back to look at Meryl. "You've already made yourself sick caring for me once. If it happens again, I'll probably feel somewhat guilty. Go to sleep. You, of all humans, deserve some rest."

Meryl was slightly shocked at Knives' words and seeing the shock on her face, Knives left the room, shutting the door firmly behind him.

'She had better go to sleep,' he thought slightly irritated that she had been resisting his kindness. He didn't get much farther into the hallway before he saw his brother leaning against his bedroom door, his eyes down and his legs and arms crossed. He looked up as Knives approached his side. Knives stopped beside Vash.

"I think we should have a chat, Vash," Knives said as he looked firmly at his brother.

Vash looked taken aback by his brother's request to talk. He had been trying to converse with his twin ever since he came out of his mute stage, but Knives had been rather reluctant at the prospect of talking with him.

"Where is the other one?" Knives asked, looking around the house.

Vash frowned at his brother's referral to Millie.

"She's reading in the living room."

"Then we can go in my room to talk."

Knives didn't wait for his brother's response as he made his way to his bedroom, making sure the door was shut when Vash walked in. Vash stood awkwardly by the door as he watched Knives take a seat. His brother looked up at him expectantly and when Vash made no move, Knives gestured to the chair that was opposite of him.

'I feel like I'm about to be interrogated,' Vash thought as he sat down on the hard wooden chair.

"Comfortable?" Knives asked.

Vash nodded.

"Good, then shall we get to it then?"

Scrunching his eyebrows together, Vash gave his brother a confused look. "You sound as if this is going to be some sort of negotiation. I thought we were just going to talk?"

"We are. I'm simply assuming you're not going to like what I have to say."

"I see."

"I'm going to put it plain and simple. She's mine."

Vash stared hard at his brother. "Excuse me?"

"Don't feign being deaf, Vash. You heard exactly what I said."

"You mean Meryl, don't you?"

"No, I mean the tall obnoxious one."

"Don't call Millie that."

Vash halted to give his brother a look of slight disbelief. 'He's serious,' he thought to himself.

"Care to explain what you mean by that?" Vash asked.

Knives looked to the ceiling in annoyance. "I've been studying humans since we were born on that cursed ship years ago, and since waking up here, I've had a lot of time to think. I've been thinking about your darling humans, Vash."

"…Yeah, and…?"

"They're like weeds really."

"…what?"

"Nothing kills them. Not completely at least. Even in the driest of planets," Knives made a gesture out the window while mentioning all of Gunsmoke, "they survive and find a means to live."

"Yes," Vash smiled warmly. "They have the greatest will to live."

"They do," Knives said in such a thoughtful matter Vash barely recognized it as his brother's tone. "It's quite admirable really."

Vash didn't try to suppress his surprise. "_You_ think so?"

Nodding his head warily, Knives took another look out the window, eyeing the desert before turning back to look at his brother's pleased and hopeful face.

"Then you are going to give them a chance? You have decided that? No more private plotting, no more wheels turning in your head?"

"Well, even the vilest of creatures have a will to live. It doesn't mean they should."

Vash shook his head, 'I should have known better.' He pouted, "Have you ever thought that they've learned a lesson? That after what became of the Earth, they'll do things differently?"

"Don't be a fool. Humans learn little from their mistakes. When they do, they still tend to repeat them. It's the nature of all humans. Still, although they make mistakes, it can't be helped. These humans may not be the ones that caused the earths destruction, but they still carry the genetic material of their ancestors. Which means their ideologies will be the same. As the years go on they will forget all about the Earth, that much I am sure of. In time, they will have assumed that they have always lived on this planet."

"That's not true, Knives. Someone will remember." Vash interjected his brother.

"Naturally. And that someone will be labeled as insane and not in their right mind. With their wild stories about far off space and a beautiful lush planet they supposedly lived on in the ancient days, in the beginning of time itself." Knives laughed at this.

"I don't see what's so funny," Vash said quietly.

"You wouldn't see the humor, and I don't expect you to."

"What does this have to do with Meryl?"

Knives titled his head to the side as he gazed at Vash before answering, "That as imperfect as she is and as imperfect as her kin will be, she has still struck something deep within me. The same way your Rem struck something within you. Only in a much deeper level than I would have imagined." He muttered the last sentence to himself.

-

Having watched as Vash followed Knives into his bedroom, Millie set her book down and quietly made her way to the room she shared with Meryl. She knocked lightly and waited for the small, "come in", before entering.

Once in the room she saw Meryl was wide awake, laying on her side looking right at her.

"Hey Millie," Meryl said, her voice somewhat uncharacteristic.

"Meryl, what's going on?" Millie asked, sitting herself down on her own bed.

"What do you mean?"

"With Mr. Knives and you."

Meryl sighed to herself; that was a question she didn't really know the answer to. "He's a little different isn't he?"

"Not with Mr. Vash or me. For us he's exactly the same, maybe worse, but for you… Meryl does he love you?"

A few months ago, even a few days ago Meryl would have happily laughed out loud at such an outlandish question. Now she answered her friend with silence. It wasn't that she imagined Knives to love her, but she couldn't ignore the tenderness that he emitted which was clearly aimed at her. It hadn't even been like that three hours ago. It was when he woke up from that nap, when she had talked with… someone else that was inside him. When he carried her from the tree and gently set her on the bed, ordering her to sleep because she deserved it. She shook her head internally. Knives was definitely beyond seeing her as a pain in his side. She dared to think that maybe, most likely, he saw her as his equal.

Meryl watched as Millie's calm face started to turn into a rare form of upset anger.

"Do you love him back?" Millie asked and before Meryl could answer Millie went on. "How could you do such a thing to Mr. Vash?"

"Wh-what?"

"How could you not know he loves you that he's been waiting in the shadows because it seemed you found it your own personal duty to care for Mr. Knives? He waited Meryl, he's waited for so long for you to come around and you haven't! Instead you've gotten closer with his brother, which is fine, but you really are shutting him out. How can you do that to someone who loves you so much!"

Both girls froze and they stared at each other.

"Vash loves me?" Meryl asked, getting her voice back.

End of chapter 15

**AN**: Like the ending of this chapter? I'll bet you all do. :) This was the edited version. I love the Japanese legend of the red string, its so lovely.

Yours truly,

F. Goddyss :)

* * *

**Responses to reviews:**  
REVlover92- I'm not sure what I want to do yet, but I think Vash would put up a fight for Meryl, he's just a tad depressed and surprised right now. 

mister smith- I am sorry that everyone has to wait forever for me to pump these chapters out. Especially since I started so strong in the beginning.

Pen Against Sword- Wait, what? You want me to give you more K/M stories? You want me to write more, or refer some to you?

Empathica- I hope this story isn't dirty! It isn't supposed to be in the least bit!

jewelofbeauty- Thanks so much for compliment! Meryl won't be sleeping with anyone in this story. Or any of my stories for that matter, it wont even ever be implied. That doesn't fit Trigun in my opinion. (Firm believer that Millie and Wolfwood did NOTHING in the anime). Also, glad you liked the 14th chapter! It wasn't something I originally had planned it just popped in my head one day as an idea. Thanks so much for putting SP on your favorites list!

foxmagic- I'm glad I made your day, and I'm even happier that you have decided to write your own K/M fic. Have you started? I'm way too busy now to look for any, but if you let me know the title I'll take a gander and see what you have! Thanks for understanding I have a busy schedule and can't put out these chapters like I used to.

sasukegrl- I cant tell you if I'm going to make it K/M! That would ruin the KMV mystery. But in all honesty, I used to have a set pairing, but now I have no idea. I keep changing my mind. I know there are not a lot of K/M's out there but… well, I don't know yet.

ReadingWhiz89- Glad to know you're still here! I make no promises on updates. I'm in university now, and I have a job and I'm in two big time major clubs. Free time is limited. I'm also super happy that you enjoyed chapter 14 so much! Little Knives is a darling and I had to have him in here one way or another. With Knives having MPD I figured it would work enough since two of the causes are physical and verbal abuse.

Boss hogg- Thanks! I was kinda worried how people would respond to what the inner child coming out deal.

SweetestChick- I'm sorry to hear you found it a bit confusing, but I'm glad that so many people did like little Knives in the story.

Inkydoo- you know… I have no idea how long this is going to be. I sorta knew at one point in time but now I really don't.

**Much thanks also goes to:** Dynast, BabyGooGoo2, Triste1, jj, Nikki, Edenah L. Williamson, PRoyalAngel. Thank you everyone!


	16. Untitled

Silent Pretense  
Disclaimer: Do I own Trigun? What a foolish question, of course I don't!

**AN: **This small blurb has been gathering dust in my computer for four months. Thought I'd finally post it.

* * *

Vash looked at his twin brother baffled. 'Did Knives really ever understand just how much I loved Rem; can he possibly comprehend the pain I felt when she died? That love… he couldn't possibly feel that for Meryl, that would mean…' 

"Deep in thought Vash?" Knives interrupted.

"Very," he responded eyeing his brother carefully. Knives looked as serious as ever, not that Vash thought his brother was lying, he didn't lie period. Something occurred to Vash, "why are you telling me this?" He asked.

Knives raised his eyebrows, "isn't it obvious?" Vash shook his head and Knives' look intensified as he stared even harder at his mirror image. "I don't want you to think you can have her. You had that despicable woman from the past; therefore I am the one to have Meryl. There is no reason for you to continue your pathetic attempts at getting her to understand what you feel for her."

Vash's eyes widened.

"You didn't think I noticed Vash?" Knives smirked, "the way you moon over her. I can feel the way your heart races when she enters a room, I can feel the slight nervousness you feel when you have to talk to her every so often. I can feel the smallest resentment you feel toward me for taking all her attention away from you." Knives smiled. "Yes, I can feel that too. But do you know what burns inside you the brightest? Your jealousy toward me, because I can sense it all Vash, you don't think I deserve anything."

"Stop it Knives!" Vash stood, "you can't feel what goes on with my emotions!"

Knives quieted for a moment, "but of course I can, as they are mine too. Just because you abandoned the link we share decades ago, does not mean that I have as well."

"It was you who forced me to do that, I didn't want to share a link with a murderer."

There was silence among the plant twins as they stared at each other, Knives stood. "Feel free to leave anytime."

"Just one second… do really expect me to just back away? To slink into a corner while you take someone who means the world to me, away?"

"I don't know Vash; you do have the tendency to self wallow, not to mention it seems as if you have been doing just that."

"Only because I thought you needed her to get better, I can see now you're perfectly fine."

"I am."

"Good, I'm glad. There's a lot of fight in me Knives, just because it seems humanity has been given a break by you doesn't mean my guard will ever be down."

Knives smiled, "your guard should never be down."

Back in the living room Meryl sat sitting on the couch, looking at Millie, waiting for her friend to answer her question. Millie was shifting her eyes away uncomfortably.

"That really isn't in my place to say… I shouldn't have said anything at all to begin with."

"But you have! Millie you have, now answer me! Vash loves me?"

Millie looked down at her hands, "he does."

Meryl at once put her hands over her mouth and looked off toward the hallway.

"But you cant let on to Mr. Vash that I told you Meryl! I promised him I never would, this just slipped…" Millie remembered looking up at her friend whose eyes were still locked on Knives' closed door.

"I wont say anything, don't worry Millie."

Having said just that, Meryl watched as Knives' door opened and as Vash stepped out.

End of chapter 16

* * *

**AN: **I almost broke a brain cell putting this up. Okay, super short, I know because I wrote it, and I know it's a cop out. I wrote this mostly so I could put up an AN without ff getting all pissed off (what is with all these dictatorship new rules anyway!). Ugh. As you can all tell I'm not writing this story much. I do still plan to finish it, just not now. I have writers block and frankly, I don't care at the minute to finish it. Trigun is sort of behind me and here I have two Trigun stories. A pain for me, but they will be finished, I just cant promise when. If you have any questions let me know. 

Thanks to **boss hogg** for reminding me that this story still exists on fanfiction. This blurb would not even have been posted if not for him/her.

_Faery Goddyss_


	17. Compliments

Silent Pretense  
Disclaimer: Do I own Trigun? What a foolish question, of course I don't!

**AN: **Hello everybody! Yes, I am very aware that I left you all with that horrible cliffy, how evil of me, but as you can see I haven't thrown 'SP' in the garbage bin, it's just in the 'whenever, whatever,' bin. I'll reiterate what I said in _'_Prerogative'. Trigun is no longer my forte or passion, I haven't seen or looked at an episode (I refuse to read the manga) let alone a Trigun ff in a long time, and that's probably how its going to remain. I have moved on to other things (as some of you may have noticed) and I probably would have let this story end in its uncompleted glory but I keep getting reviews, and what can I say? I'm a review whore and eventually cave to the reader's demands. So really, thank you to everyone for your encouraging words! SP isn't my favorite of my Trigun stories, but it is a quick favorite among you readers and I do hate to disappoint. Now will I be back with a vengeance? Ahaha, that would be wishful thinking on all your parts, but rest assured I'll try not to pretend this story doesn't exist anymore. This story really is almost over, so I don't know why it's taking me so damn long to finish it. Oh this is unedited for now. Ugh, longest AN ever…Onward ho!

-

The moment Vash's eyes locked with those of Meryl's she darted her eyes to the side and stood up. She could see Millie giving her a pained expression and she tried to neutralize her face for her friends' sake. 

"What were you and Knives talking about?" She asked curiously, when she was sure her voice wouldn't betray her.

"Just a talk among brothers… first one in a long time actually," Vash said with a tight smile as he walked into the little living room.

Meryl stared and watched as the man who supposedly loved her approached her. She could feel her fight or flight instincts welling inside her and she chose the latter. Turning on her heel she started for the door, "I'm going to go for a walk, I feel a little light headed, probably too much sleep," she lied and left the house before either Millie or Vash could respond.

Upon closing the door she at once leaned against it, sighing. 'Great reaction Meryl,' she chided herself as she pushed off from the door and walked down the few steps of the porch.

"Where are you going?"

Meryl turned her head and saw Knives lounging in his tree, his eyes were looking off toward the desert, but he turned away from his view to focus on her.

She tilted her head to the side and narrowed her eyes slightly, "how did you get out here with no one noticing?"

"Where are you going?" He asked again, plainly ignoring her question.

"If you're not going to answer my question, why should I answer yours?" She asked sounding slightly irritated.

Knives studied her for a moment impassively before jumping down from the tree, landing gracefully on his feet. They stared at each other in silence before he broke it, "I came out my bedroom window, I didn't imagine it'd be difficult to figure out."

"I'm going for a walk."

"…I'm coming with you."

He didn't ask, rather invited himself along. That should have annoyed her more, but for some reason, Meryl noted that it didn't. "You have to-"

He cut her off, "be on my best behavior, yes I am aware."

Meryl nodded and began walking with Knives at her side. It was odd to her that she actually enjoyed Knives' company, not that she hadn't before, but to know that they could have conversations, if they chose to made the experience different from the past. As they entered the main road in town, she could feel Knives tense and she spared a glance at him.

"Not afraid of humans are you?" She asked. It was night, the suns had fallen but there was still a night life and many people were still in the streets and of course the saloon, there were even plenty of children running around.

Knives looked over at her, wondering at her question, seeing if she was mocking him. She was teasing. "Disgusted is the preferred word."

"That's my race you're talking about," she responded airily.

"Do you suppose I care?"

"Not really, but it's rude to talk that way about your walking companions specie."

"Just as I'm sure it's rude to be vividly killing your walking companion's specie," Knives countered, looking off toward the distant plant angel that fueled the town.

It was a morbid response but for some reason, Meryl laughed. Not at the content of Knives' response, but the idea that they were joking with each other. The very same plant that was re-awakened and still harbored ill feelings toward people she cared about.

At hearing her laugh, Knives took the time to study her. For some reason he knew she wasn't laughing about the comment he had just made, as for her reason… he didn't know. But something did occur to him, 'this is the first time she's laughed because of something I've said,' he thought and decided he liked it well enough.

"You call that bark a laugh?" He asked her, raising a blonde eyebrow.

Meryl at once stopped laughing to glare at Knives. She was shocked to see the faintest look of amusement on his normal passive or scowling face. Turning away she folded her arms, a smile gracing her face. She rubbed her arms slightly, just suddenly feeling the cold from the night air

"You should have brought a jacket," Knives said quietly.

She shrugged not looking at him, "I wasn't exactly in my right mind when I left the house."

"I noticed. What is troubling you?" He asked, though he was sure he knew without having to ask.

Meryl was silent a few moments, "you want to know?"

"Not especially, but it seems like the type of thing to respond with. That is why I'm asking."

'Confide… in _Knives?_' The thought didn't even mesh well with her, as his normal jab brushed by without Meryl even noticing.

"Don't know if you can trust me, do you?"

Meryl shook her head, "no, I don't." She could have sworn she saw Knives' eye twitch in annoyance but she was never sure of his emotions.

"And whom would I betray your trust to? Your abnormally tall friend," Knives ignored Meryl's angry scowl, "Or my dear, dear twin brother?" He asked idly.

Knives waited and watched as Meryl weighed her options, she could of course opt to keep everything to herself.

"I suppose that's true…" she answered slowly. "Can we sit?" She asked, gesturing to one of the many side benches that adorned the edge of the road. Knives didn't respond to her, but he did seat himself on the bench, carefully fixing his gaze to her. Meryl sat down slowly and tried to pretend she didn't feel his intense stare as she organized her thoughts.

"Your brother," she started hesitantly. "Your twin brother… Vash-"

"I know his relations to me, get on with it," Knives snapped.

Meryl smiled at Knives' quick irritation. It was nice to know he wouldn't change too much, even for her. She needed and wanted that stability at the moment. "He said… well actually Millie is the one that told me, but apparently he… cares about me... deeply."

"And?"

"And…?"

Knives made an impatient noise. "And he loves you; I've known that, what is your point to it?"

Meryl rounded at the plant her eyes widening, "you knew it too?"

"It is rather obvious," Knives replied studying a few drunken men as they walked past, his lip curling in distaste.

"My point is I'm surprised! I don't know how to react to hearing that, how can I look at him now, knowing how he feels?"

"You use your eyes," came Knives' dried voice.

"I'm serious Knives!"

"And so am I. Do you love my brother back?"

"W-what?" Meryl was caught off guard, and she shook herself, looking away. "I don't know."

"You don't know?"

"I _don't_ know," she responded testily before calming down. "In the beginning, after Millie and I had traveled alongside him for so long, yes I could say that I did. I did love him… I couldn't help it. He made me worry so much…"

"And now?"

"And now I don't know."

"What has changed since then and now?"

"You," Meryl's voice hitched as she realized what she said and how it may have sounded.

A resounding silenced filled the air between the two as Meryl looked anywhere but at Knives. He gave her a silent look before adjusting his eyes toward nothing in particular.

'She said she loved him,' Knives thought referring to what Meryl had said to his younger self not too long ago. 'But that does not necessarily mean me, and even though she said those words to him, they probably weren't in the same context that Vash feels for her.'

"That's the other thing on my mind," Meryl interrupted the silence softly.

"I am?"

"Yes," she nodded. "And how you've changed. Obviously your catatonic phase differs from how you are now, but when you "woke" we all the worst and you might have, had you known where your memories of the past year had been, but now… you have no reason to stay, not really. I guess if you tried anything, Vash could stop you," she paused seeing Knives' scorn. "But you haven't even _tried_, and that whole thing with you and that other you…" she sighed. "Now look at us, talking like old friends as if we do this on a regular basis. I just don't get it."

"Get what?"

"Any of it. Why you're still here, why you're with me, why you seem to see me as your equal, because in case you've forgotten I'm still human. And I don't see why you talk to me when you won't even talk to Vash, why do you want me to trust you? I want to know what's making you tick."

"That is demanding a lot of me."

"Fine, yes, I demand it. I'm tired of being in the dark."

Knives couldn't stop the flash of anger he felt, and his eyes narrowed as he looked down at the small women. Then to Meryl's surprise and later on his own, he burst into a warm laugh. He couldn't help it, 'look at her,' he mused to himself. 'She doesn't even reach my shoulder in height and she's demanding something of me. I could crush her with my mind without even batting an eye and she talks as if she doesn't care.'

"Yes," Knives began in his laughter, noticing Meryl continue to stare at him in suspicion and slight bewilderment. "You will do quite well."

"In what?"

'In being my Rem Saverem,' he thought to himself. 'In being what my younger self wanted so much of you, in being what could make me perhaps win, in the end, against my brother. Yes, you'll do perfectly well.'

"Are you listening to me?" Meryl's voice ripped through his thoughts and he realized he hadn't been, but that his laughter had stopped abruptly.

"Enough. Have you ever realized how easily annoyed you are," Knives asked mildly.

"The same could be said about you, you know."

"To think I share a similarity with a human," Knives mused to himself out loud.

"…you're really not that different from us," Meryl spoke quietly, well aware that she was treading on dangerous territory, Knives may be fine with her, but she knew he was far from seeing the rest of humanity in a new light. The edge in Knives' voice was enough proof of that.

"Do not, _do not_ compare me, with them."

"But Vash-"

"He is different; if he could he would choose to be human. He would have happily died at that woman's side; leaving me alone, and after everything I've done for him, for us!"

Meryl couldn't help but hear the bitterness in his tone as he said that last line. She began slowly, "I really don't think he would have left-"

"Were you there?" Knives cut in sharply, his eyes glowing with a fierce intensity Meryl hadn't ever seen. It scared her. "No you were not. Don't try to defend Vash when you know nothing of our past and our past situations. What you know, you learned from him, nothing more. You never saw his eyes when that bitch died, the way he looked at me for years. Oh yes, he would have rather perished with her than be two feet within me."

"That's because you killed the first person he ever loved! You killed her! What did you expect, for him to thank you and wrap his arms around you in a brotherly embrace! You single handedly destroyed the first life he ever knew, and then when you both got here, you tried to do it again! And yet, yet he's tried to understand you, tried to help you, he still wants you around, he still forgives you and you do nothing in return! You've thrown his kindness toward you in his face!" Meryl finally stopped, and took in a few shaky deep breathes, looking at Knives. She began to feel the color drain from her face as she recalled everything she had just said to the plant. "Knives I-" She stopped and winced, closing her eyes when he stood as if expecting to be smacked. When she felt no contact with her face she ventured to open one eye and then another, surprised to see Knives walking away from her and back toward the house.

"Just wait a second." She stood slowly and began after Knives, quickly approaching his side. "You don't get to run away from this. You live in this world too and if you want to continue doing so you're going to have to have to learn to live with humans."

"Or I could simply kill you all," he snarled in such a way that Meryl felt a tremor run through her body. Her own mind was screaming at her to stop what she was doing, warning her that she was up against something she couldn't win, but she ignored it. She didn't want to give up on Knives, she understood Vash's own pursuit of him to change his ways. Because underneath the malice and hatred there was someone worth saving, and she had grown attached to that someone and could no longer imagine life without him.

"You couldn't do it and you know it," she whispered, keeping close to Knives regardless of his longer legs and faster strides. "You could attempt to kill us all but you couldn't. I daresay we're indestructible."

"Would you like to wager that?" Knives asked, his snarl gone and his face falling into a regular emotionless glance.

"…I've heard the stories of our past Knives. How we evolved from a barely thinking creature, one that couldn't read, write, could barely think, into the people that created the cities and science of Earth. Yes, we ended up destroying the very world we created but look what we did." She gestured to the towns, "our ancestors refused to extinct. We packed our bags and moved to a new planet, crashing here by accident, because of you. Look at this place, it's a desert. By all means we shouldn't have lived, but we did, because we want to. The idea of dying out without a fight is not in any of our genetics. Nature has taught us to strain to survive, its survival of the fittest Knives, and we have survived, we are the fittest. And I bet that even if you killed us all, somehow you'd manage to miss a few. And those few would start all over again, and we'd keep on growing. We can't be wiped up by the likes of you, only God can do that, and you are no god."

"I know nothing of your god," he started, looking at her closely. "But I am the closest thing to one. If I wanted to hear such banter I could have spoken with Vash."

Meryl shook her head slowly, realizing she was fighting a meaningless battle. "Knives you say you're nothing like us, but you share the same blind hatred many of us have for each other. Some of us deserve your hatred, not all of us are good people and that will never change," Meryl stopped as two young boys ran in between her and Knives.

She watched as Knives threw them a look of disdain, but both listened to the conversation between the two.

"Hey, want to go back to see the plant angel?"

"Yeah!" One of the boys laughed, "my mom was so mad at me for picking her flowers last time, but the angel really liked them! What should we give her next?"

"My mom baked some cookies; you think she would like those?"

"You dope, she's in a bulb, how could she eat them?"

"Oh yeah, well maybe…" Their voices faded off in the distance and Meryl turned back to Knives.

"I won't preach to you anymore Knives. The only one that can do anything about how you feel is you. Let's just go inside okay?"

He walked ahead, saying nothing to her, and just as he was about to put his first step onto the stairs of their front porch Meryl stopped him.

"Wait."

"What?" He turned to look back at her and she almost grimaced at his features. They were so indifferent; it was as if their talk had taken him a few steps back.

"You never answered my questions."

"What questions?"

"The ones I demanded answers to. Why you're still here, why you trust me…" she faded off looking to him. She couldn't tell if he was studying her or looking through her, both thoughts unnerved her.

Finally he placed a hand on the railing of the porch, and titled his head to the side, as he continued scrutinizing. His features relaxed as he stared knowingly at her.

"Because despite your likeness to Rem and your occasional and irritating bursts of pro humanity I've grown rather fond of you…I'd think that obvious Meryl."

Walking into the house, leaving the door open, Knives left Meryl outside. From where she stood, she could hear Knives brush by Vash without a word. Peeking into the house she saw that Knives had hesitated at the entrance to his bedroom, his eyes were locked with that of his twin.

"Hn," Knives' face grew unreadable. "Goodnight then Vash," he finally said and shut his bedroom door before Vash could respond. Watching from outside Meryl wondered if Vash was as dumbstruck as she was. That had to have been Knives' first civil word to his brother. She also wondered if the warm smile creeping onto her lips was due to that, or the fact that Vash himself was now smiling the way he used to, pleased at his brothers progress. Or because of the fact that Knives had said he was fond of her and had said her name.

Knives immediately headed for his bed, taking off his shoes as fell onto the soft mattress. His window was open and allowed for any remnants of a breeze to pass through. If there was one thing he loathed, it was admitting any flaws to any of his plans, and ethics. But there had been a flaw in his plan in turning Vash to his way of thinking. That plan had failed miserably and look where it had landed him. As for his ethics… he still believed in them as fierce as ever. He would not be swayed into a different way of thinking any easier than Vash would have. His fist clenched at his side, as his jaw set in a determined line. He was the superior race, and mankind was in fact inferior in all aspects. They would always be, and he would always hate them for their cruelty to his own kind.

But… he scowled to himself that such a word would even cross his mind. 'What she said…' his thoughts began. 'That even if I tried, I could not hope to wipe out her race. She is-' Knives stopped his thoughts before he thought something he'd regret later. He released an agonizing slow sigh and turned on his side, looking out his window. 'What am I still doing here?' His thoughts picked back up and he answered himself. 'Deep down I say I stay here for him, as much as I despise him, I stay for him. He would be lost without me, and he is my brother. I can not hope to leave him for too long before longing for his company myself. But I could live without it for decades.'

Knives sat up. "There really is no reason for me to stay, there's more reason for me to go. I could leave, find isolation, somewhere away from humans. If I can't kill them, the next logical step is to create a world they can't hope to gain access to, to act as if they don't exist."

Even as he said it, he didn't believe it. He had told Meryl his reason for staying, for trusting her was because he had grown fond of her and of course he had. Every personality within him had, she had become a much needed part of his long life and he intended to keep her in it. Leaving, would mean leaving her and he doubted she would come along with him if he chose to leave. Not that he would ever lower himself down enough to bother asking.

"But I can't stay here as this useless slob, it makes me feel like Vash. If I'm to stay I need to do something, earn my keep," he muttered to himself. As a thought dawned on him he smiled to himself and allowed his body to fall back against the bed. Allowing it to get its needed rest now that he had a new idea. 'A simple idea really, Vash worthy.' He thought and drifted off into the gentle darkness.

-

**AN: **Different hmm? Oh well. I hope this suits everyone's needs for awhile, I can't promise when the next update will be. I broke another brain cell putting this up for you all! And guess what everyone? I may be starting a new Trigun story! Ahaha, I can hear the swearing. That's in the far future lovelies, hopefully long after I finish SP and Prerogative! Well then, thanks again everyone for all the great feedback, I'll get to PMing as soon as I can, don't forget to R & R!

Yours truly,  
Faery Goddyss


	18. To Ever Contend

Silent Pretense  
_To Ever Contend_

**AN: **This is not edited.

Knives was never a particularly early riser, he never saw the raw need for mornings. Anything you did in the morning could be accomplished just as well in the afternoon. Vash knew this, so when he heard the loud banging against his room he jolted awake thinking the worst. That some old enemy had returned to have a last go with him. He groaned, falling back into bed when he saw Knives outside hammering away at the siding of the house.

'Wait, what?' He thought, and threw his covers back only taking a moment to stretch his limbs before approaching his window. He yanked open his window and threw his head out the window, immediately getting hit in the face by a metal tool.

Outside Knives stopped his hammering when he realized he had hit his brother in the face. He leaned inside the window seeing his twin lying unconscious on the floor. "Oh, I didn't quite see you there Vash," he said not truly sounding like he hadn't. "You know, you're more pleasant like this." He added to his passed out brother as he resumed work on the siding of the house.

Eventually his banging woke Millie and Meryl and Meryl, of course, was the one to stomp outside.

"Knives!" She barked in annoyance and he spared her a glance, raising a brow when he saw she was still in her night clothes.

"Couldn't be bothered with showering before gracing the outside world?" He asked in slight disdain.

Meryl huffed in annoyance and folded her arms. "What the hell are you doing? It's seven in the morning and you woke the whole house up!"

"You ask the most ridiculous questions sometimes. What does it appear that I am doing?"

Meryl studied him for a moment before turning her attention to the house, her eyes widened in shock. Planks of wood littered the ground accompanied by various nails screws, and other pieces of hardware; a set of tools were resting immaculately in a tool box that was against the house. "Are you destroying the house?!"

Knives looked at her dismayed, "no you insufferable woman, I'm fixing this dump; I've decided that if _I_ must live here, the house ought to be presentable. The roof I fixed earlier is definitely far superior to its older version. I thought why not do the same for the rest of this structure?"

Meryl narrowed her eyes as she studied the plant before her. He looked the same, he sounded the same, but he wasn't acting the same.

"Why are you bothering?" She asked carefully.

"What else am I to do all day? Do you imagine me to go out and get a job amongst your people like my half brained idiot sibling?"

"What will you do once you've completed the renovations on the house?"

"They'll never stop."

"Excuse me?"

"Even if this house ends up being larger than the entire town itself I'll continue to build."

"…why?"

"I already told you, have you no ears anymore? What else am I to do all day?"

"You could help me with the cooking; cleaning… things need to be cleaned everyday with all the sand blowing around."

Knives scoffed, "that's human female work, I won't subject myself to it."

Meryl's eye twitched as she clenched her hands to her side, "Millie goes to work all the time."

"She is hardly a woman in her gargantuan state. Now leave me alone, I can't fix this wall with you staring at me like that. Go do something."

Meryl was two seconds away from losing her cool but she swallowed her pride and stomped back into the house, stopping when she saw Millie peering outside of the window.

"What is Mr. Knives doing Meryl?"

"Apparently he's fixing the house," she muttered, the irritation in her voice was hard to cover.

"Oh," Millie looked puzzled. "Why?"

"He says its because he has nothing better to do with his time."

"So then Mr. Knives is staying here?" Millie asked a little surprised, and her question caught Meryl off guard slightly as she thought about it.

"I guess so…" she said softly as she peeked back out at Knives, allowing a small smile to grace her lip. She turned her attention back to Millie when the larger woman released a long yawn, "well I'm going to go shower. I don't think I can fall back asleep with the banging."

The petite woman nodded and watched her friend disappear into the bathroom. Deciding she wanted coffee she turned to the kitchen and started brewing a large pot. She melted into a dining chair, releasing her own yawn before groaning as the banging continued. Would they really have to live with the sound of Knives' "little" project for as long as they lived?

As she poured herself a mug of black coffee she decided that it was better than the alternative. When Knives had said that he had grown fond of her she wondered if the plant knew the feeling was reciprocated.

"Pour me a mug."

She jumped slightly at the sound of Knives' voice and turned around to scowl at him for sneaking up on her before she did so. Handing the mug to him he sat at his usual place at the dining table, his posture perfect as he sipped carefully. For a murderer he really was the epitome of regal.

"I'm surprised Vash is still asleep with your banging," she stated lightly.

"He isn't really, well he's asleep just not from nature causes," Knives replied equally lightly, smirking somewhat at Meryl's bewildered face. "Now then, what shall we do today?"

Meryl choked on her coffee and began to cough as Knives eyed her tiredly. "What do you mean?" She eventually managed to get out.

"Once I've completed with what I wanted to finish today, what would you want to do the remainder of the afternoon?"

Meryl narrowed her eyes and stood back from her chair, leaving her coffee on the table top. Knives watched her curiously as she began walk around him eyeing him, looking him over.

"Knives?" She asked softly, wondering.

"What?" He barked irritated, she was giving him a slight headache with the way she was circling him.

"It is you," she said her voice filled with awe.

"What _are _you getting at?"

"Why are you so different?!" She demanded forcefully. "Taking it upon yourself to fix the house forever, getting up early in the morning to do so, wanting to do something today. Why are you acting this way, what are you up to?"

"Are you normally so suspicious?"

"Don't change the subject."

Pushing his coffee away Knives stood and stepped directly in front of Meryl looking down at her, placing their faces inches apart. "I'm not," he answered directly. "I've decided to stay here, partly because of you, partly because of my brother."

"…why?" She asked softly. "Because you are fond of me? What does that even mean?"

"Vash tell you about Rem?" Knives asked backing away from her.

"…yes. He said I reminded him of her."

"In looks, in simple thoughts, but that is where the similarities end. I could not stand that woman, hence the reason I was not as distraught as Vash when she died foolishly. But, while I did not care for her, I always wanted someone like her. Vash loved her above everything, maybe above me; I don't care as much anymore. You are my Rem, and as such we ought to spend time together."

Meryl stared at him critically a frown finally making its way onto her lips, "this is what you really want? To live here, fixing this house alongside humans?"

Knives raised an eyebrow before he sat back down, "of course not."

She let out a frustrated sound, "then don't do it!"

He smirked looking her over, and Meryl thought for a moment that she'd seen a slight flicker of…no, she shook her head. She couldn't possibly have seen a faint glimmer of defeat on Knives' face.

"What is my alternative, leave? Yes I suppose I could do that, I'm not fond of being under my brother's watchful and weary gaze, but as we have agreed upon I have developed an interesting attachment to you."

"You're staying for me."

"And for my brother."

"You're staying?" Meryl whipped her head to the side at the sound of Vash's voice, but Knives didn't look moved.

"I am, don't worry, I'll be good," Knives smirked.

"I'm…going to…head for the shower…see if Millie is done," Meryl spoke up softly, retreating to the back of the house, leaving Knives and Vash to talk.

Once Vash was sure she was out of earshot he sat across from his brother.

"Coffee?" Knives questioned as he took hold of his own mug.

"No…thanks for asking…what if I don't want you to stay?" Vash suddenly asked eyeing his brother. Knives didn't look all that surprised that he had fashioned such a question and he merely sipped his coffee for a moment as if thinking over what his brother had said.

"But you do, deep down at least. Your jealousy is merely blinding you a bit, but what would you do if I left? I know you find it your personal responsibility to look after me, for whatever reason, so you're quite torn aren't you brother? If I stay I'm a distraction, if I go my absence will be a distraction. Besides, eventually Meryl will die, everyone around us will die and we, as usual, will be the only one's left standing. Could you stand to live in loneliness?"

"Stop Knives, that won't be for a long time," Vash interrupted. He didn't like to think of the future too much, it didn't seem bearable at times. He squeezed his eyes shut and thought of something that plagued him constantly. Her last words to him.

"_Vash, take care of Knives!"_

"Ah, those were her last words to you were they?" Knives scoffed, as he read his brother's intense thoughts. He stood and backed away from his chair, "you are foolish Vash. I am not a child any longer, I can take care of myself perfectly and if for a minute I am unable," Knives glanced at the back of the house where they could both hear Millie and Meryl getting ready, "she will." Knives gave his other half a brilliant smile, "you can love her all you want brother, but don't ever forget she is mine."

For all the slight pain he was feeling regarding the heavy burden he felt he carried Vash stared up at his twin standing to meet him in the eye. They stood staring at each other their almost identical eyes staring into each other. The identical smirk fastened on both their lips. There was a hint of a challenge and as it were, neither of them backed away from a challenge.

As far as Vash was concerned where they stood would always be shaky ground, especially where Meryl was concerned. But, as of yet, Meryl had not chosen who she preferred. He had not been rejected and Knives had not been fully accepted.

"Far better," Knives spoke up, invading the fierce electric build that was gaining between them "It was obnoxious seeing you so passive and depressed, this fire suits you much better. Now I see how we're related."

"Speaking of this fire inside me…you knocked me on the head with that hammer on purpose didn't you?" Vash seethed, causing Knives to laugh, though he sobered up rather quickly.

"I did no such thing, your head was in the wrong place at the wrong time."

"Don't get on me about! You did do it on purpose!"

As the boys continued their rare lighthearted banter Meryl had creeped up silently from her bedroom to watch them. She had heard bits of their conversation and her face had gone warm over it, but she had not interrupted. Instead she opted to view them together. They were powerful beings the two of them, and if they ever worked together they would be quite the force. It was probably a blessing that the didn't get along all that well.

She studied Vash for a moment, the man who loved her, the one she had once loved. Eventually she would have to tell him exactly what went on her mind when she thought of him, she couldn't avoid it forever since they lived in the same house.

Meryl then turned her attention to Knives. The one who caused all their problems to begin with. He called her, his Rem, and she was still very unsure of what exactly that meant and what it entailed for her. Rem for Vash was a mother, a guardian, a teacher. She could not help think Knives did not want any of that from her, and she hesitated to think what he did want from her. They _had _been through a lot together, a lot of strange things. That could be reason enough for why he didn't feel the need to part from her. Choosing not to make any wild assumptions she gathered her confidence and decided it was time to stroll back into the kitchen and start a breakfast. Besides, Knives and Vash's argument was starting to turn somewhat sour.

She wondered how they would live together, as nothing was truly resolved or agreed upon. It was an odd gathering of people, well, two people and two plants. One holding a very dangerous grudge, but Meryl figured they would work on it. They had a lot of things they would have to work on and she sighed at the thought. She would think about it all later, first and foremost. Breakfast.

The days of staying silent were over and she was very anxious over their very unseen future.

_End of Silent Pretense_

**AN: **I don't like it but that's life. Alright, before I hear the cries of injustice and how there are so many loose ends there could be an epilogue. Probably, I want there to be one, but I wonder if I'll get around to ever writing it. We all know Trigun isn't my thing anymore. Prerogative is very close to being discontinued and this story ended okay, but not quite how I originally wanted (whatever that was). I apologize for the lack of updates, but, well, sorry.

Now you as reviewers have two options. Deal with the ending I've given OR press me for an epi, keep in mind it might not be that great, and it could take another year. As we all know this was SUPPOSED to be KMV, and it sorta was, but its sort of a cop out isn't it, since at this point no one actually got Meryl.

/loud groan/ I'm so sorry. If I had thought I wouldn't finish the story and leave things like this I never would have bothered to write it. And for awhile I was thinking of just leaving it in unfinished glory, but I kept getting reviews…and a bit of harassment (which wasn't appreciated by the way) and so I tried to buckle down and write. This is what I got. I'm not happy. Le sigh.

And to think I'm going to co-write a new Trigun story with someone. Well, that's still the future.

If anyone is curious I'm still going to pump out AT LEAST one more chapter of Prerogative because I did have an interesting plot twist for the story and I still want to write it. It…just might never be resolved. Damn. Oh well.

Now then, THANK YOU SO MUCH! To all of you and your never ending support and emails and reminders to get me to finish! Most of it was appreciated and I really never did stop thinking about the story, I just…stopped caring. But I love you all, even though I am the worst writer in regards to updates on Trigun. Thanks again everyone/kisses and hugs/

Yours truly,  
_Faery Goddyss _


End file.
